My wife just told me to move out... (page 3)

DesirousOfChange

I agree with the advice to NOT move out. In many places that constitutes "abandonment". It will also look "bad" on you in the view of all those JWs and give them evidence of what "leaving The Truth" does to a family/marriage.

If it's possible to reboot, perhaps try the stragegy that you are simply "waiting on Jehovah" to correct things. We all know you'll be waiting forever, but it's better than "leaving The Truth". Instead of voicing your conviction that it's ALL WRONG, ask for her help in clarifying the issues that have you "confused"; "stumbled"; "distraught"; "weak-in-the-faith". Let her do some research and (not) find the answers. DO NOT ACCEPT "HELP" FROM ELDERS. After all, you are both mature Christians. Do as the Boreans did. Examine what is being said, esp if it contradicts the Bible. See a therapist to get help for this "craziness" you are going through right now (really because it's a good thing to do when you're having both of these issues at once).

Good luck,

Doc

OnTheWayOut

You say you are not giving up on this marriage. Very well. I cannot advise you not to seek legal counsel, but if it were me, I would assume she has made no legal maneuver and I would hold off on that expense.

I would tell her that I will cease my efforts to get her to see things differently about the JW's and that I insist on going to a marriage counselor. If she refuses, then I would tell her I am going without her. I would say that the elders have nothing to offer me, but she is free to ask their advice on what to do when the husband is willing to work on the marriage and to let her continue as a JW. I would remind her that Jehovah hates divorce.

Most women in her position hope that the man quickly takes action to move out and later finds a new woman. Not leaving and not seeking legal counsel is like calling her bluff. "If YOU want this, it is your move."

Anyway, that is what I would do.

DATA-DOG

I agree with Tater-T.. Tell her that she should not let the Organization break up your marriage. Tell her to move out if she wants, and stick to your guns. I am not a rule guy, but as a husband I have had 1 rule that I will not bend or break. If my wife is being dumb, and is mad at me for no reason, I do not leave the bed for the couch, or leave the house. If she is mad then she can sleep on the couch or leave the house, end of story. I told her once that if she did not want to be with me then she could leave. We are still together.

She is just emotional perhaps. This is a big change for her too. My wife treated my like an apostate and started insulting me. Why? Because I told her that I partook privately at home. So a " Christian " woman proceeded to make fun of me for finding Jesus ( her words ). She also became angry when I suggested that she really study the Bible. She insulted my study habits from the past and reminded me that she has attended pioneer school and that her studying is far superior to mine. This is the same person who said that she would let our child die before she disobeyed the Slave.

You could also tell her that she is free to worship however she wishes. That way she has no legitimate charges against you. You could also remind her that a TRUE christian has no spiritual breaking point. She should be able to face a firing squad or concentration camp for her faith. Claiming that you are a danger to her spirituality is just a feeble excuse to allow her to play the victim, and come out on top as a martyr in the eyes of the Congregation.

What do you really want? I know you want freedom from the WTBTS, but what for? Are you wanting to stay together? If so, don't let the Org win if you can help it. I know it sucks..

Peace,

DD

wha happened?

stay in the house and and just be a loving husband. I did the same 14 years ago and it drove her apeshit crazy. She wanted me out to set me up as the bad guy. Don't do it. Let her dirty her own hands

DATA-DOG

You could also do what I did. I told my wife that if she believed 100% that I was an apostate and deserved death, that she should kill me. I was being a little crazy I guess, but she got the point. Sometimes it takes a bitch-slap of truth to make people wake up.

Pterist

If you both own the property ? She has no legal or religious grounds for her demand.

If she obeys Gods laws as a good JW, she is required to win you over without a word and be subjected to YOU !

if she refuses to live as a couple, with your earnest efforts for it to work, start living a productive life as if you were single, invite friends over, have a party LOL ! ALL in good taste of course !

hamsterbait

The Watchtower Magazine (the real Babble to witlesses) says that if a wife feels that there is a threat to her spirituality SHE can "depart".

You are the head and owner of the house, and her "husbandly owner". Respect for theocratic order is absent in her. She cannot throw YOU out of your home. She can choose to leave.

If you dont really care for her anymore, file for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty and religious persecution.

You will always come third in her relationships with the Governing Body and The Witchtower Babble and Trash Society taking 1st and 2nd.

HB

turtleturtle

She is scared.

Don't talk about TTATT to her anymore. Youve already told her how you feel. Tell her you were wrong to push it on her. Tell her you love her with a card, nothing else.

Also, do not move out unless you feel there is psysical danger in the situation. Let her be the one to move out.

You could even drop a line to the BOE and state that yes, youve had some probs with the ORG, but you are not a spiritual threat to your wife.

Glander

she said she'd rather be beaten up by me than have an "apostate" in the house...

Tell her you have decided to accept "the truth" then slap the taste out of her mouth...

Seriously, you have gotten good advice here. Keep a cool head and don't move out. Do you have a separate sleeping place? Offer it to her. You sleep in your own bed.

tiki

i think it is best ignored - just go on with life as usual - it could be a spur of the moment thing - not really meant....but if it is, and you want to make the marriage work, you will have to honestly and calmy discuss the situation and your position - and really perhaps some couples counseling would be of use. best luck....sounds like you are in a pretty difficult situation....:)

My wife just told me to move out...

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