It's a miserable life --- Really?

by Lady Lee 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I was at the check-out counter sitting in my wheelchair, listening to the customer behind me talk to the cashier. He looks at her and says she looks tired. She rings through one more of my purchases and she it has been a long day. The customer relies that it only gets harder the older we get. She doesn't have much of a response to that so he continues by saying how life is so hard and so "miserable" that you just gotta hang on and wade through all the misery. She says uh-huh not really paying much attention to him but that doesn't bother him any. She finishes with my purchases and I pay up and roll on out of there.

    Is it really such a miserable life or do miserable people just make it that way for themselves and everyone around them.

    I live in a Seniors building. Most of the residents grew up in Europe during the 2 world wars. Some were in concentration camps and bear their numbers tattooed onto their arms. Most are OK but some just want to take a last breathe, roll over and die. Every word out of their mouths is misery. Do they have reason to be miserable? They certainly lived through extremely hard times.

    Some are sick and that certainly is no picnic as you get older. It seems everything just starts falling apart at a certain age. Many are convinced that doctors only want to push medicine at them that won't work or will make them sick in other ways so they don't take their medicine and they get sicker and blame the doctors.

    Others just want to sit and recount every miserable thing that has every happened to them over and over and over. Isn't that what counselors are for? But really they aren't looking to improve their lives. They just like to hear themselves talk.

    So there I was sitting in my wheelchair listening to this guy talk about how miserable his life is. He had no apparent disability but that doesn't mean he doesn't have some health problems. But he seemed to be walking fine. Certainly had no problems talking. No glasses or hearing aids visible. No cane or walker. Definitely not a wheelchair.

    I didn't join in the conversation. I doubt there was anything I could say to help him be less miserable unless I perhaps offered to exchange my wheelchair for his feet. But I left the store thinking about it.

    Isn't that the message we got as Witnesses. Life is so terrible out in the world that you must stay within the organization.

    I have been through enough abuse of every kind that people who know me are surprised that I am still alive. Life has handed me one thing after another and another and sometimes more than one bad thing at a time. Many people would understand if I turned out to be some bitter, angry miserable person. But what is the point of that?

    As I rolled down the sidewalk I was glad. I have so many opportunities to do new things, learn new things, to keep challenging myself to grow and be more than I am now. Life is full of possibilities and they only thing that stops me (other than money) is me. I doubt I will ever go skydiving. But if I really wanted to, I would find a way to make it happen.

    There is a saying "We are what we eat" But we are also what we think. If I focus all the time on all the terrible things that have happened to me; been done to me I would be one very miserable person indeed. I wouldn't want to live like that. I figure I have quite a few years left to live and I want them to be productive. I want to feel good about each day. I want to go to sleep at night and not want it to be over (I did enough of that when I was younger).

    Yea we were in a cult and it sucked. And we missed out on a lot. Find those things you missed and find ways to give it back to yourself. I remember one hysterical night in a park having a watermelon fight with a friend at a friend The inside - not the whole thing, just handfuls of it. Watermelon juice is very very sticky. Take my word for it. It was very funny until the cops showed up and told us to go home. And I wasn't a crazy teenager. I was 38. Now don't all rush out to buy watermelons to throw at your friends.

    One thing I learned early on is not to measure happiness or joy by the big things in life. It is in the little things. Today I got a letter from my granddaughter. She is 7 and is learning how to write in French. She already speaks it. It is a Valentine's Day letter to tell me that she loves me. My piece of joy for today.

    Count up those little things because in the end they all add up to a wonderful life.

  • mamochan13
    mamochan13

    Thank you, LL. Good lesson

  • cptkirk
    cptkirk

    LadyLee I've seen you on youtube, you don't even seem to be approaching old? you're exactly right about all of the negative vibes in that religion, hell, they may label you as an apostate just for being happy (if you aren't heavily involved within the org and are yet happy). i don't know what people get out of complaining like that, maybe they feel that it is some sort of deterrent; like, don't even think i owe society or any person a damn thing, everything is owed to me, so don't even think about asking anything from me, you better give me something for free because i deserve it (something like that maybe). there is always something new to learn, and that can mean a lot....and of course, the witness culture kills this mentality, which probably has a lot to do with the intrinsic negativity. if you try to learn more as a witness, they look at you as some kind of rebel in many cases. that is just a death sentence for some people; just keep re-hashing the same material, underline, and repeat....it's like having your soul raped.

  • new22day
    new22day

    Thanks for the postive message. I was feeling blue tonight and this helped me gain perspective. Thank you.

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    Yep it's a matter of the glass being half full or empty. And also, there are medical reasons to be miserable, such as depression. When you have that disease, and I know from experience, the glass is always half empty. And maybe people have been dealt a dud hand - then it's up to them whether they become a survivor or a victim.

  • Perry
    Perry

    Nice POV. I think we were meant to be involved in the "trival" and to find great happiness there.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    new22day

    If it helped just one person then it was worth sharing Thank you

    I think sometimes we get so bogged down with the everyday things we forget to stop for a moment and appreciate the little things. I still have my granddaighters letter to me in front of me. Got me smiling all over again. I can just picture her sitting at her desk at school writing it all out.

    Every now and then we need to stop and see things from another point of view. I woke this morning to see the birds hurling themselves off the toof of my building trying to catch a good wind to take them higher with little effort of their wings. Yes it seems birds can have fun too.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Some people like playing victim. They become professional victims.

    S

  • just Ron
    just Ron

    I agree LL. There are a lot of people who seem to cultivate misery, wear it like a badge of honor or a crown of thorns. Most of them actually have very little to complain about that they haven't brought on themselves.

  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle

    Lady Lee,

    Yes!!! Life is NOT miserable. It can be though for some. I'm not sure if it's only how they perceive things because a starving person has reason to be miserable. A victim of the Holocaust may have had their entire family wiped off the face of the Earth and have suffered things we cannot even begin to imagine. Maybe they have never recovered. Maybe for them each day is a painful reminder for all they lost.

    Anyone who comes out of a suffering unscathed and unchanged is a remarkable person.

    But, yes, Lady Lee, I have heard people complain and sometimes it is hard to be empathetic to others complaints when they seem trivial to someone who has had a life filled with pain, but to them it IS huge.

    Lady Lee, you are an optimist and have taken whatever strength you have been able to gather and do something with your life. Not everyone who's gone through your type of pain is capable of bouncing back. Not everyone has that fight in them to keep on going. But is that due to one's personality~ genetic makeup, or the environment in which they were raised? Maybe their pessimistic thinking process is less of a choice than a given by their brain chemistry. Who knows?

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