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You are right. We don't know. Certainly some people are born more resilient than others. The sad thing is that many of them can change their attitudes towards their past and turn them around to be positive. I think it is a choice. Possibly some are not capable of it as others. But st some point we have to make choices to have a better life, to be better, to strive to improve in just one small way.
When I was working in the homeless shelter there was a young woman there who had been thrown out of her home. She had been born addicted and it had affected her throughout her life (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). Everyone told her she could never live on her own and take care of herself. But she wanted something better then living in a homeless shelter for the rest of her life. She wanted it so badly and everyone in her life kept saying she couldn't do it. One day she came into the office of yet another round of her foster mother and social worker telling she couldn't do it. So I suggest she tell them she was going to try it in spite of all the negativity. And she did it. When she got her money at the beginning of the month she paid her bills, did her shopping, kept a bit of money for food during the month and the rest was for her (not that there was much left). Before I quit the job she came to see me after several months on her own. She was doing great. She looked great and said she was happier than she had ever been although she said she did miss not having people around all the time. But she did it.
I've seen the same with women who were beaten and left for dead by boyfriends and husbands. Worked with sexual abuse survivors. Every one of them had every right to be miserable. And to be fair some were. Some of their stories were horrific. But most consciously made the choice to improve their lives. To get out of the cycle of abuse.
I think it is possible to help people change -- if they want it. Hey you can lead a horse to water........ But I really belief if we have the ability and opportunity to encourage just 1 of them lives could be changed.
Just look at what goes on in here. I lot of people never register or they do register but never post People learn the WTS/JWs and are devastated and they find their way here and get encouragement and they slowly open up and bloom like a tulip in spring.