CO want to talk to me

goodsoul

CO want to talk to me
First of all, I am very apologize for my English- I am studying this language nearly 2 years, so it's not that good yet, unfortunately. Also, it's my first topic. But I have one important and urgent question.
Me and my wife are fading nearly 4 months for now. I am fully confident, that Watchtower- is totally deceptive and harmful place to be there. But we don't want to be disfellowshipped or disassociate ourselves because of our family members, who are still in a borg. Next week CO going to visit "our" congregation and he want to talk to me. The problem is, that I am still formally an elder and we have been pretty active all our JW being and stopped attend meetings very suddenly . We served on different territories for our own expenses and I participated in convention parts and etc. and ect. So the question is WHAT HAPPENED? I had a few conversation with local elders, asked some regular questions(1914, 1919, two hopes, governing body, doctrin changes etc.) and sure, didn't recieved any resonable answers. Last visit was yesterday- about my responsibilities. I said, that I don't care about it- let them do with it whatever they think is appropriate. Also I said, that I don't have any questions any more to anyone, and I don't want to discuss anything from my beliefs with anybody else. I said, that I don't see any need to meet with CO and if he will have any questions- let he call or email me, but again, I am not inclined to any discussions.
I just want to ask about any advice or any thoughts about how to proceed our fading without being disfellowshipped. Actually, I don't care about it so much, the only one thing that I am concerned- it's our parents.They anyway will communicate with us, but it will definitely will cause them some troubles.
Thanks a lot in advance to everyone!

suavojr

Hello goosoul,

You are in a delicate situation because you spoke about having doubts, but don forget you DON'T HAVE TO MEET WITH THE CO! You can always play the card of saying you are discouraged and burnt out, therefore you need some time with your family and that you trust God will help you get better soon.

If you do not want to get Df'd NEVER MENTION YOUR DOUBTS

jgnat

You've already broken the most important rule of fading. Don't do anything suddenly! You have the choice of going back to the meetings occassionally, or continue to alarm the local elders at your sudden disappearance.

wannabefree

You are currently an elder?

If so, you might want to "step down" for personal reasons.

Keep your mouth shut and lead a quiet life avoiding things that can get you disfellowshipped, you should be okay.

They don't want to get rid of you but will feel obligated to if you speak against the organization, they will not tolerate causing division.

DATA-DOG

Well...that's a tough one. You have made it clear that you do not want to meet. So I would imagine that the CO is talking with your fellow Elders about you. They will want to meet, and they will harass you until you give in. You are not a rank and file member, you are an authority figure in the Kingdom Hall. There is no way they are going to tolerate any dissenting views. You are marked. I would say your best bet is to step down because you will be removed unless you recant. You could send a PM to Raypublisher, he served as an Elder and he may be able to help you.

Just consider this my Brother, they do not care what is true. We live at a time when the majority of people worship the GB. This is no different then worshipping the Golden Calf, or refusing to go to Jerusalem and going to a man-made altar. There is no easy way out. If you really love truth, then you will be persecuted. You can find happiness in the fact that you are standing up for what is right. I will pray for you my friend.

Peace be with you,

DD

clarity

they do not care what is true

>

They do not care about truth ...

and they don't care what the doctrine is, at this point!

>

Their 'social club'...is what is important!

What they don't realize is that all these 'instant' friends,

all these friends with whom they have been thrown together by

being born -ins ...... have been commanded to love each other!

>

The kicker is that these 'friends' will also be commanded to HATE you

the minute you step out of line!

Take it slow my friend...

clarity

goodsoul

Thanks a lot, everyone! suavojr, yes, I didn't intend to meet with CO. I will try to play cards, but i doubt, that I will be able to do this sincerely.. Thanks jgnat, but it think that going back to the meetings anymore is the option for me. I hate their lies so much, that am afraid I will vomit(sorry about my difficult personality). Thanks wannabefree! The thing is, that I NEVER TOLD ANYONE about my doubts or so, except few local elders and few other friends, who are elders as well. So they don't have any facts of causing divisions by me..but I am not sure, what could be else treated under this description. Thanks DATA-DOG! It looks like the only one option for me is to resign as an elder for personal reason, send email about it to local elder(and CO maybe), to hide and to avoid ANY contacts and communication with elders..I think, it is possible. Personally for me there is no issue with anything of it..just concerned about my wifes and parents feelings..What an idiotic cult- they don't care about anyones feelings at all! It is so tough to see, how momentary your "friends" converted to judges. But what to do- it's better to be alone than with this sort of people.. thanks again for support.

konceptual99

Welcome goodsoul. I can really empathise with your situation as I am a serving MS trying to disengage with as little collateral damage as possible.

There is some particuarly good advice for fading that I have had on this board that has already been mentioned:

1 - never openly discuss doctrine, especially with other elders

2 - play the card of being burnt out, depressed or something else that is emotional and cannot be tracked back to doctrine. If you are saying you are low and need time to concentrate on your family it makes it very difficult for the elders to discipline you without appearing completely unloving and unjust

3 - if asked the "loyalty question" then never say you don't think the GB are the F&DS or the organisation is not being used by Jehovah. You can outright lie and just say "yes" or use a few more evasive non-answers to get round the question - it depends how smart or dogmatic the elders are you are meeting with. If it's the CO then I would be inclined to lie as they have done this a 1000 times and are 100% company men. The other thing to you can do is express indignation that they are questioning your loyalty.

4 - Do not trust any other elder, even if they are supposedly your friend. Loyalty to the org and a lack of a decent pair of bollocks mean they will usually do the wrong thing and drop you like a stone.

If it's the CO's visit then things can escalate VERY quickly. If he thinks you are a dead duck then the body will just follow what he says. If you are determined to fade then you have to do some damage limitation and keep well away from doctrine. You need him to moderate the body's response and he will only do that if convinced you are just low and can be built up.

I guess you could try and not meet with him but I think that is a high risk strategy and others will have a more experienced view on that.

Just remember it's not called a fade for nothing. Doing things quickly will draw attention to you and will inevitably force your hand or the hand of elders if kept unchecked.

Of course, you could just say bugger it and go for broke but you will be DF'ed before you know it.

All the best and keep us posted.

jgnat

So it looks like excuses like personal reasons, illness, and working through doubts, privately, is the way to go.

BlindersOff1

Use the cult logic on them say

"I'm waiting on Jehovah"

Its also great to vent on this forum so you don't vent to any JWs .

CO want to talk to me

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