Don't Blame the Organization for Imperfect Humans

by ranmac 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  life is to short

  I agree with Postoff

  My husband was an elder and we had little money as we both pioneered but we never talked about our money, what we had or didn't have and I have concluded that when you say nothing people just assume you have tons of money. I have been around brothers who make six figures and cry their eyes out about how poor they are, yet I never once told anyone what we made. I think people just assumed we were rich, we were NOT! Yet we were always willing to help anyone who needed help. I always made sure to include the single mom's the lonely ones in the hall. We have a 900 SQ foot home yet we had the whole congregation over three time over 90 people in our home. There was barely enough room to move. We had everyone from the book study over when we feed the speaker every six weeks etc. Our home was trashed over and over. No one offered to stay help clean up, they all just took off.

  As a kid in the "truth" I was always left out because my parents were not in the in crowd and they were odd. I promised myself I would never leave anyone out if I was ever in the position so when I married an elder I made sure that everyone in the hall was invited.

  My thanks for that was to be hated and treated like dirt. The poor ones in the hall felt we had money for whatever reason and would come up to me and ask me to give them money because they did not have enough to last for the rest of the month. Now these people were on welfare and I was working three jobs. When the poor would come to my home it was like they went out of their way to destroy stuff, break glasses, come in with mud all over their shoes, etc and never once did they ever offer to stay and help me clean up, never once did they thank me, invited me to their home, I had them even yell at me in my home when I did something that they did not like, like trun on lights.

  The rich elders would dump the mentally ill on my husband, at first I tried and tried to help them help themselves, I got one brother a job, offed to buy a car seat for a single mom so her baby would be safe while ridding in our car. They did not want the help they wanted handouts. They wanted me to give them money and got nasty when I did not.

  I worked too hard to give away what I had and then to watch them do and buy things that I never could afford. It just burned me out.

  So I totally agree with Pistoff.

  LITS
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  ranmac

  life is to short, that is one shitty group of people you were subjected to
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  LongHairGal

  LITS:

  I feel sorry for how badly you were used in that religion! The people are simply ingrates and didn't deserve a saint like you. Understandably, as the wife of an elder you felt you had to show hospitality. Well, you certainly were a better example than the elders I knew.

  Almost none of them showed hospitality unless it was towards "pioneers" or COs or other popular people in cliques. They were certainly biased against singles like me who work full-time and they never bothered with me, except to give a half-hello. Also, I refused to be targeted by the users there and this made me very unpopular. I also got the sense that some were jealous and thought I "owed" somebody something. Maybe because I, like you, never cried poverty and expected nothing really, except maybe for people to be a little more friendly.

  On the topic of people asking for money:

  This was a sore subject for me because I was criticized because I work full-time. I heard remarks like "materialistic" and "not putting the kingdom first" etc. The only "respectable" job for a woman in that religion was housecleaning or babysitting. If you had any kind of a half-way decent job you were looked down on. I feel they were just plain jealous of anybody (esp. a woman) who was independent and had good self-esteem. Mind you, I kept to myself but this didn't stop me from being panned in many corners. The only people who were kind to me were a few dear older couples who, perhaps, saw the handwriting on the wall. These are the only ones there I miss.

  Since I was criticized because I work full-time, you can appreciate that I have no interest in JWs or their financial problems. I don't want to know about them. Any of them. Let them go ask the religion for money because that is the only one who owes them anything.

  I remember when I attended a memorial or special talk some years back, somebody came up to me and chatted briefly about sister so-and-so losing her job. Then asked if I "had enough money to live on". I answered wisely and said: "I have to be careful". No way are they passing a hat around to me, of all people!

  Can you imagine how bad it must be now???
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  life is to short

  LHG

  You are spot on about working full-time. I truly feel that was a huge part of my problem is that I worked and supported myself. I was seen as not relaying on Jehovah but my own strength.

  My husband used to tell me I was working for nothing that soon I would be throwing the money I made in the streets. That Jehovah would provide if only I would let Him.

  We got so low on money and the JW's were COMING TO ME TO BEG not my husband. The car did not run on air and I NEVER ONCE saw Jehovah give me a dime. One time and one time only a elder and his wife were with us in field service this elder made a fairly good amount at his job and his wife did not work. So this elder filled up our gas tank after we had used our car all day in service. The wife was beyond PISSED at it and let me know very clearly that she was not happy but she never let my husband know she was upset and she was so sweet to him, so my husband swore that I was making it all up that she was mad at us and that Jehovah provided us a tank of gas.

  I felt and still feel Jehovah or God or what ever higher power there is gives us the ability to work and that is how we take care of ourselves.

  And yes ranmac I was around people who were not kind but really crule. So much for love in the true religion.

  LITS
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  LongHairGal

  LITS:

  I always felt that the religion's mentality of pursuing poverty and thinking that "Jehovah will provide" is like asking somebody to jump from a plane without a parachute. It just flies in the face of common sense.

  I had no intention of abasing myself just so that jealous people in the religion would like me or think I was "spiritual". The whole thing is so sick. I also noticed that the poverty being preached was not for everybody, just some other sucker. I looked around the hall and saw the "smart" ones and the older people with a cushy situation would never be seen doing this. So, I wondered, why do they want to see somebody else do it? I wasn't buying it.

  I agree with you that Jehovah, God or whatever higher power that created us with a brain, expects us to work and take care of ourselves.

  It is a very unhealthy mentality in the religion and they are rife with trouble in congregations, especially now with all the marginal people they attracted in recent years. I would RUN.

  Be glad we are both out of that mess.