in limbo. (page 4)

Welcome captain. It sounds to me like your brain is definitely working, so I don't see any reason why you should call yourself stupid or whatever. All the greatest intellectuals in history have one thing in common, they have the intellect, the balls, the guts and the humility to simply say, "I DON'T KNOW." It's the moronic apologists that go around wagging their cocks in everyone's faces like they know everything that are the real asses and dumb and ignorant and stupid and arrogant. So, great that you are modest and smart enough to know that you don't know and man enough to admit it. Kudos, you are on your way to your destiny.

cobaltcupcake

Man made rules that are at best very tenuously scriptural. Rev book regarding trumpet blasts, repeated changing of doctrine,

EXACTLY! That, along with all the "hurray for us" rhetoric while there are pedophiles hiding out in the congregations.

There's a struggle going on in your mind. I remember feeling so disappointed in the organization. It was like mourning. The thing is, you can't unknow what you know.

Giordano

So I was rereading your post and all of the helpful replies when I came to mine! Totally had slipped my mind. First thing I thought was oh shit I hope I didn't make matters worse. But it wasn't too bad for 4:30 in the morning.

I was the equilent of an Elder......back in the 1960's we didn't have that title. My wife and I pioneered where the need was great. I was the assistant presiding minister, the ministry school servant, I handled the snakes and took care of the publishers cards. I did an internal fade and one day we simply announced we were moving to another state. When we left my publishers card went missing......could never figure out how that happened.

Anyway I enjoy your sense of humor and look forward to reading more.

EmptyInside

I was in limbo for awhile. But,what helped me,is that,I didn't have to have all the answers in one stretch.

I just found it liberating to be able to think for myself for a change,and truly grow as a person.

Everyone has to figure it out on their own in the end. And it's easier to stick with what you know and go with the flow,but life can pass you by in the process.

And be cautious on who you express your doubts to,it could cause more problems for your fade.

Quarterback

Dam it, Captain.

I'm just an Ship's Engineer, and not a phychologist.

Give it some time, and all the best.

rebel8

It's good you are uncomfortable with teaching things to others that you know aren't true. That's the first thing you should do.

Just keep thinking and eventually you can find a way to resolve your cognitive dissonance in a way that fits for you.

The last thing you need is to be preached to about other ideologies. Find what works for you. You will eventually.

Captain Blithering

Thanks for all the replies folks, im just kinda reeling not feeling right now, treading lightly but itching to jump up and down and talk if not shout about it! Especially to my better half. (Yes, ive had secrets from her before but only on a 'secret stash of chocolate in the garage ' scale, not a 'life-altering, change everything cos nothing will be the same ever again')

Walls will be punched. Sorry walls.

jgnat

This site is the safe place where you can let your self go. Angst allowed.

You will be able to share all with your wife in time, but I suggest you approach her intelligently. She has not experienced the revelation as you have, and it could send her over the edge or right in to the arms of sympathetic elders.

cantleave

Welcome!

in limbo.

Kool Jo

A.M. Number 1