New here (page 3)

Aunt Fancy

Welcome Elbear, there was a lot of excellent advise given. I would suggest reading the books by Ray Franz and Steve Hassen and if after reading them you still have anxiety then I would seek out someone who can help you deal with this. There also is a reason why you are using the brownies so look inward to see why you are and are they really helping or making you worse. You are young and have a wonderful future ahead of you free to be whatever you choose and if your desire is to continue with more education then go for your dreams. You have the opportunity to get out now before you end up like my husband and me who are in our late 50's and finding out the real truth and trying to start over with meeting people and getting all of the garbage out of our head!! I wish you a healthy, happy and free life!!

Mum

Elbear, I understand what you're going through. I went through a very similar period of emotional turmoil when I was in the process of coming to my senses. I didn't do pot, but I was drinking a lot. I once had a dream that Satan was showing me that the burning hell was real! I was in a constant state of panic, anxiety and fear about the future. I didn't know if I had the courage to do what I knew I needed to do to save my sanity.

I had help from friends. They could see that I was falling apart and reached out to me. I will be ever grateful to have had their support during the worst time of my life. I was paranoid that everyone could read my mind, but most people are thinking about themselves as it turns out.

I, too, recommend that you get professional counseling. If you're in college, there are often on-campus services with free counseling. Cut out the marijuana (or whatever was in those brownies) and get your own mind back. Doing things that are harmful to yourself won't help.

For the short term, just to get you calm and centered, I recommend that you google "Tao te-ching." The entire Tao is online and can be read on your computer screen and/or printed out. The Tao is an Asian philosophy book (very short) with 81 verses. It helps us to accept reality and stop fighting what we cannot do anything about. I read it when I'm anxious, and it calms me. Read whatever might help you, including the books recommended by the others here.

As Dorothy Sayer said, "Acceptance is the key to ease in life." Therefore, accept yourself for the wonderful person you are, and realize that it's fine that others don't agree with your views. Decide what you want out of life; then make a plan to achieve it. Your life is about you, no one else. Live it the way you choose. What others think of you does not matter. Living with yourself and understanding what is right and wrong (i.e., what is hurtful to yourself and others) are the things that matter.

After following the suggestiions posted here, check back in and let us know how your doing.

Welcome to the forum, the rest of your life, freedom and infinite possibility!

Captain Obvious

Years of childhood cult indoctrination and mind control + recreational drug use = your situation. Mind control is a scary thing!

Apognophos

Mind control is a scary thing!

So is drug use! I have no idea why people smoke pot and the like, it can only do harm.

Balaamsass

Welcome Elbear!

You have a lot on your plate. Get some rest and see a doctor. Do some of the reading suggested by the other posters.

TheSophist

I too suffered from paranoia when smoking pot. It's not even worth it when you can't enjoy it or it leaves you feeling paranoid. I can also tell you that if the stress in your life is keeping you awake at night then you desperately need to find a healthy way to sleep. You would be amazed how quickly a lack of sleep can lead to depression and DELUSION. I am serious, at one point in the last year I went weeks with virtually no sleep and I began to have hallucinations when I closed my eyes. Very scary stuff, so please if that is a factor, get some rest because I immediately improved after just a few nights of actually getting a normal nights sleep I was myself again.

Find someone, even a therapist to lean on and help you sort things out.

I think it's awesome you went to a Catholic college, but man how weird for a witness kid.

Best of luck!

Slavenomore

Welcome elbear,

You will get thru this moment. Just continue to rely on your true friends, your strength and your goals for your future..

Writing down my experiences, the good and the bad has been very cathartic for me.

Anyway I'm new here too! But the more the merrier.

Newly Enlightened

Welcome Elbear. Glad to have you here with us.

whathappened

Welcome little sister. We promise you things get better and better. This site saved my sanity when I left the kingdom hall about 2 1/2 yrs ago. When I decided they were not the true religion I still had doubts. These folks on this site cleared up those doubts. You know you are in a better place now.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Welcome!

"I told them that I did not know if the truth was for me,"

Along with the good advice you've already gotten here, you need to distinguish "truth" from JW teachings. As much as they like to say they are "the truth", they are not. It was the search for truth that directed us away from continuing enslaved to WT.

New here

Share this