Maybeso (page 2)

Roberta804

Maybeso,

The Chinese have the same word for the two words, opportunity and crisis. How about looking at your very real crisis as a very real opportunity? The whole world is now your oyster and you have an opener in every pocket!

Hortensia

Well, welcome! You'll figure this all out as time goes by. Lots of good advice from folks here. My advice is relax, start to enjoy life more, don't be in a hurry to burn bridges, but go ahead and start the fade.

whathappened

Most of us have been where you are now. We understand and that is why we linger here, to help you.

My sister and I just quit cold turkey. Yes, we have family in, we took all those we could out with us. It was best for us, you must decide for yourself.

Best wishes for you and your family. Let us know what you are thinking.

Many here will tell you to read Steve Hason's book about getting your loved ones out of cults. I second that suggestion. Proceed carefully.

return of parakeet

The spark was already struck when you decided to look for info about JWs online. The information you found here merely fanned that spark into a small flame. It's up to you whether to put the flame out or feed it with the real truth.

Good luck to you.

dazed but not confused

What do I do now? Do I tell my wife about everything I’ve found out thanks to a lot of you? Do I just ignore everything and live a happy blinded life? Or, do I fade and come up with a story on why I’m fading? What to do? What to do?

Only you know your wife and how she reacts to big, life altering news. I left after a short fade. It didn’t even occur to me that my wife might leave me if I leave the “truth". I knew my wife would be sad about me leaving but I never thought she would leave me. I had a friend who told me “If I did what you are doing, my wife would leave me for sure.” I said to him “What kind of love is that?” He had no response. I haven’t talked to him for months.

A year and a half after I left, my wife told me she was ready to leave the “truth” about a year after we married.(we've been married 10 years this June) She stayed in for me and her family. It took her that year and a half to come out to me that she never fully believed the lies. That came as a shock to me. I never knew how she truly felt abt this cult. She waited so long after I left to tell me because she wanted to make sure it wasn’t a faze I was going through. Now she is totally faded along with me.

If I thought for a second my wife would leave me for leaving the cult, I would have done things different.

Think hard about what type of woman your wife is and if you’re prepared to be miserable. You have 4 paths, 1- you stay in and are miserable. 2- you leave and your wife leaves you. 3- you leave and your wife stays with you but is always disappointed with you and your choices even if she doesn’t tell you how she really feels. Or hopefully 4- you both leave together and remain happy.

Your gut will guide you. Trust your gut. It got you this far.

Good luck.

jgnat

First of all, you must have heard of the stages of grief, right? This is how anger and denial feels. You are grieving the loss of a dream, the loss of security.

You get a lot out of this in the end. There's a strength of person, a sense of self that comes from a period of serious reflection. You will stand taller and people will note the difference. Don't rush the reflection part. Though you live in a period of flux and uncertainty, you will be more sure of what is true.

Now for the paradoxical part. It is not fair to force this transformation on your wife. Everyone's journey is their own and as you must know, it is scary to have this stuff forced on anybody. Use this board to vent. I suggest getting one of Steve Hassan's books to get ideas on how to approach a cultist without alarming her. With patience and respect, hopefully she will come along with you.

zeb

..think of the children who have been abused and the wt coverups. Perhaps that will help.

DesirousOfChange

I'm someone who has been walking in that same path for a couple years now. It is like the Matrix. Unfortunately, once you have taken the "Red Pill" and learned TTATT, you are F***ED. NO going back.

My wife listened because when I finally discussed any of this with her, I was acting despondent and depressed, which is not who I am. She was concerned. Rightfully so. Fortunately she was not one of those "we need to call the Elders for help" kind of persons. She didn't have much use for the Elders in our Cong either.

Which is another key point: You virtually MUST have a personal issue with the Cong or Org to be able to take the blinders off of yourself. Most folks who are still deep in and happy and satisfied drinking the Koolaid just cannot be reasoned with. They are already in their Spiritual Paradise. You gotta get slapped across the back of the head to start awakening.

You're welcome to PM and kick it all around if you like.

Doc

MaybeSo

Thanks to all of you, I've read and re-read all your comments and posts. I really appreciate your kind words and excellent suggestions.

For now, I'm trying to play it cool and figure out my next move.

Thank you and enjoy your weekend!

bohm

read "releasing the bonds" ASAP!

Maybeso

Share this