Trying to handle my JW mom (page 3)

Diest

MOshe I think we should raise money to put up that billboard across from bethal next October.

Your children ALWAYS come first. If your mom can't help herself despite your warnings, you MUST follow through. I'm sure one of her "loving sisters in the Truth" will be glad to take her in. (Watch how fast they will run away when they hear that!) But that's not your problem.

When my son was small, I had a similar problem with my dub mom (but not nearly as severe) . She had her own home, thank goodness, but whenever my son went for a weekend visit there, she would give my son dub books to read and talk to him about the truth, despite my repeated warnings not to.

I explicity told her that her continued relationship with her grandson was dependent on her not trying to turn him into a dub. Thankfully, I was able to counter any questions my son had about dubs. My mother knew I meant business about dub indoctrination and had the sense to only go so far and no further. If she had started in about demons, that would have been a deal-breaker.

The funny thing is -- my son (now in his thirties) still has those books my mom gave him. He never read them, but keeps them because he likes the colorful covers. He says they look nice on his bookshelf!

WTS propaganda as tasteful interior decorating. I still think lining the bottom of a bird cage is the best use for them, but to each his own.

Good luck with your dilemma.

scary21

I was told by 2 different elders in 2 differant congergations. They cannot help my mom if she has family. Does not matter if they are a 1,000 miles away. Individuals can help if they want to, but the elders will not ask or try to make arrangements if the person has family. After being a JW for over 50 yrs, NO ONE in my moms con. could find the time to take her to the store, doctor, haircuts , or a home cooked meal. NOT ONE PERSON !!!!

It's all going to be on you. My ex MIL ( JW ) put her hubby ( not a JW ) in a nice Catholic assisted living place. It was like $550 a month, the nuns cleaned his appartment, washed his clothes, and cooked 3 meals a day. The food was great. Tell your mom, if she does not stop with her cult talk, when she is old enough (SS ) that is where she is going. That should shut her up !!! lol JW will do nothing for her

return of parakeet

This is pretty drastic but maybe worth a thought --

You said you were raised a JW but left at 18. Were you baptized? If you were and "faded" from the cult, you could DA yourself officially, which would force your mom to have nothing to do with you. She might feel compelled to leave to keep away from "apostacy."

Don't know if it would work or if it should even be tried. Just something to consider.

When my dub mother goes into her drama queen act, I'm often tempted to do that very thing.

nugget

Your mum is an adult and as such must bear a degree of responsibility for herself. Unless you are extremly wealthy you cannot sustain keeping her indefinitely and she needs to make some effort to pay her way. She needs to know what she is entitled to and she also needs to know how to earn her own money. Studying is what you do between work and chores if she wants to study full time she can become a nun. It sounds harsh but if anything were to happen to you she would not have the life skills to cope.

On the other issue she has the right to believe whatever she likes but she does not have the right to terrify your children. As a JW she thinks she is teaching them the truth and will not be able to help herself. You can explain to your children that people believe in many strange things and granny too has some funny ideas. Sadly some can be a little scary so if granny tries to talk about religion then say I'm sorry but that is not something I want to talk about. Reinforce to your mother that religion is off limits and remind her that to continue to live together she needs to respect your wishes.

I would investigate housing in any case and look if there is any alternative accommodation and move her towards the goal of independent living if this is achievable otherwise there is a distinct possibility that your current arrangement will crash and burn.

whathappened

Welcome to the forum. I am glad to hear you are a good mom and want to protect your kids from cult thinking. Do what is right for your kids. Your mom has to play by your rules.

moshe

JWs won't admit that they have to , Reap what they have sowed- they put their trust in Jehovah's kingdom to provide for them, but in the end it is Caesar's social welfare that takes care of a lot of JWs, because they failed to get an education, work a fulltime job for a good wage and plan/save for retirement. They want to fall back on worldly family- However, they don't want to admit they screwed up by being JWs.

moshe

MOshe I think we should raise money to put up that billboard across from bethal next October.

I wonder what the Transit Authority charges to put one on the side of a bus that stops right in front of Bethel? Rub it in - for an entire year.

Iamallcool

Moshe, I like your two recent posts on this thread. You are so right!

Stubborn Disbeliever

Geez! I'm so sorry! I'm not sure what advice to give other than find some government housing for older people. We lived by a place that was studios, 1bed, and 2 bed apartments starting at $290/month in Phoenix. But yeah, my grandma knows I have no interest anymore, but continues to make comments. I told them we are pregnant with baby #3, and the following day was my husband's birthday, so I needed tofind a younger hubby....she moved on to tell my daughters that "gg and papa don't celebrate birthdays, we have 364 UNbirthdays to be thankful for..." It was supposed to be a sarcastic comment about my "old" (29 lol) husband...just like every year. And sometimes, when they are up there in age, it's not really a possibility to break it to them, TTATT. But good luck with your mom. It's just frustrating when you've been a good parent for your children and the JWs have to get just that liiiiiittle bit of brainwashing attempt in there.

Trying to handle my JW mom

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