My name is Jack Harper, Tech49
New here, been lurking for many months now. A brief history:
Been baptized for some 30 years, spent many years striving to "do the right thing", including pleasing "people." Served as a MS for about 8 years, then as an elder for 10. Always busy busy busy, RBC, Public Talks out, serving on the Service Committee, Secretary for many years, School Overseer, Judicial committess, all the good stuff.......
I turned in my "elder" badge about a year ago.... just couldn't do it anymore, sick and tired of piddly politics, favoritism, nepotism, asshat elders puffing out their chests and making stupid demands on lowly publishers, backstabbing and gossiping about other elders, number "faking", ... goodness, the list goes on and on............. more later.
As I got a bit older, a combined series of events has woken me up, and really changed my views on some key things. Just a quick example: I was an elder for 10 years, and never had heard about the UN fiasco. What.? Are you kidding me already? Overlapping Generations? Again, are you serious? Who makes up this horsesheet? Blood fractions are all ok, but mix em all together and you're gonna hafta die? Can't give blood, but we can use everyone elses...Ok.... enough already. I can guarantee you that no one in my family is going to die over some stupid made-up rule that seems to change almost daily. Good grief already. Quote-mining is a good one. My kids got in trouble in school for mis-quoting, quote-mining, and not citing sources.... but grown-ups with Holy Spirit looking over thier shoulders can do it?
And the whole Governing Body thing............. only a select few "chosen ones", that reside in New York, are the grand poobahs, and do everything in "super secret" mode? Pretty sure their are some great spiritual men in other parts of the world.......oh don't get me started on that one. Later maybe.
What's the saying?.... Sometimes the simplest answer IS the answer...
A few more examples of tripping points for me: The propoganda, the guilt-tripping, misuse of monies (when I learned of multiple millions in secret pay-outs to keep child abuse victims quiet, I vowed right then and there to never give another penny to the "world wide work"), dumbing-down of literature, century-old sales tactics that just don't work anymore...
I will share some of my experiences with all of you in due time, in an effort, not to gain praise, sympathy, or adoration, but rather to help wake any other lurkers, especially those whose situations may be similar to mine.
I realized that all the little things that I had put to the back of my mind and tried so hard to cover over with the blanket of "faith" just couldn't be ignored any more. And then the inevitable...... that ugly little word that so many seem to forget about...... RESEARCH. Oh, I had heard of what NOT to read, what NOT to look at, etc etc. A quick little foray into the world of the internet (not that its new to me in any way, I just allowed myself the chance to look things up) changed things for me. Dirty rotten nasty "apostates". More on that later too.
Another thing I came to the realization to.... in my mid 40's now, I have put more than 25 years into a "spiritual career", and what am I getting in return? Not to be selfish, but maybe its NOT what I am getting in return....
When I was 18, I thought briefly about joining the Coast Guard. Of course, that idea was "verbottin". Reflecting back, if I had made that decision, I would now be retired and collecting a pension, living a different life. Now, self employed, and while still doing great considering the economy, I can't help but wonder...
My wife began to notice that whenever I would come home from an elders meeting, a glass of burbon was in order, I was not my usual self, and it took me a while to unwind and calm down. Most of the time, I couldn't get to sleep for a couple more hours. Really, truth be told, it was her observations that ended up becoming a part of me realizing that something needed to change. My family was suffering. She too has been aware of her "limitations", and is becoming increasingly less tolerant of B.S.
So maybe in the end, its my need to share my experiences with others (oh, I've got some doosies!) that finally helped me to register here. Its something that seems to be on my mind every single day. Either that, or I have indeed become mentally diseased..............
frack