Moral dilemma: to tell my husband or not to tell him...

Julia Orwell

That his JW best friend he hasn't seen in ages is coming for holidays from where he now lives overseas. This Jw friend was instrumental in getting my husband into the cult before we met. I heard from a Jw from my old cong who just emailed me. Now do I tell my inactive, beard-wearing husband that his friend is coming so they can catch up or not? I'm worried this older Jw friend might guilt hubby into getting back into meetings again or something, where the brothers will wanna work on him so he doesn't leave again...

But if I don't tell him this guy's coming he might find out and find out I knew all along he'd get upset. Yet I'm afraid of this guy's influence if they do meet...

zeb

Politley message him it will be great to see him again but suggest you have had changes in your lives and that your life now does not include the 'truth'.

I fhe comes he is a friend if he does not its no loss to you.

Julia Orwell

But if he knows the guy is coming in the first place: not knowing if he'll want to see him is what holds me back because if he does, they'll meet and I worry about this guy giving him hell for leaving and convincing him to return. Hell, this guy was his best man, that's what good buddies they were. I've told my husband ttatt and now I'm not quite sure what his precise beliefs are. He reads in the nwt every now and then and still prays to Jehovah before every meal just like when we were in. I worry him wanting to see his friend might be a catalyst for him being brainwashed again so figure it's easier not to tell him his friend is even in town. On the other hand, I don't know if it's moral to withhold that info.

Listener

Personaly I don't think you have any choice. Given that they are really great friends then he is going to contact him and you are right, not telling him could leave him with bad feelings about you.

Given that he is likely to learn of his visit anyway, it could be to your great advantage to tell him. It gives you plenty of time to discuss his feelings and how he might handle his lack of inactivity with his friend.

Julia Orwell

You're probably right. The friend arrives the 14th June which is our congregation's CA. I have less than two weeks.

Maybe he won't even want to see his friend. I don't know. He ignored the elders who came around 2 weekends ago but this is different. Maybe more ttatt is in order.

irondork

Sounds like this visitor is coming wether you speak to your husband or not.

YOU be your husband's best friend.

lost

Oh dear Jullia.

I would err on the side of caution here.

If you didn't tell hubby and if he ever found out, could cause you probs.

on the other hand, I can see why you wouldn't want him to know.

good luck.

Honesty

Been there done that.

Tell him.

He'll eventually find out you knew and then he will never trust you again.

It's time for some more TATT..

What does hubby think about Michael the archangel being Jesus?

After making purification for sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high.
So He became higher in rank than the angels, just as the name He inherited is superior to theirs.
Hebrews 1:3-4

Michael is the only angel that is called an archangel in God's word.

Archangel means chief or principal angel.

If Jesus was Michael the archangel then He would have already been higher in rank than the angels before making purification for sins.

Ding

What would you want if the situation were reversed?

I think you should tell him.

You can talk it over with him.

He's more likely to be able to figure out how to handle the pressure than if this guy just suddenly shows up unannounced.

GromitSK

How great a friend is he if he didn't tell your hubby himself?

Moral dilemma: to tell my husband or not to tell him...

Share this