New hope, I agree both the shunner and the shunned get hurt, the real bullys are the leaders of the organisation that formulate the policy!
Julia gets hit with the Shun Gun for the first time...and it really hurts.
by Julia Orwell 64 Replies latest jw friends
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jean-luc picard
Hi Julia.
I'm sorry to hear of your experience, though it was bound to come sooner or later.
I am somewhat surprised at the rapidity, as it seems from your posts that you are just in the early stages of fading.
I have been out years now. 15 years ago, the law was: you shun people, AFTER a talk has been given from the plateform, and you "understand" who it applys to.
The same for disfellowshipping. You were not disfellowshipped until after the announcement was made from the plateform, which was no sooner than 7 days after the judicial committee, (a time period which allows for you to appeal).
There are alot of rules in the elders manual on procedure, which is rather amusing for a religion, don't you think?
What really angered me most, was that no one, not even the elders respected these procedures when I was disfellowshipped. I knew I was going to be, and had no objection. I was no longer ready to live by the tenets of the wtbts. I did not go to the jc. No point.
But they did not respect their own laws and regulations. Maybe those regulations have changed ( new light) or maybe your " friend" isn't respecting them either.
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label licker
That just happened to a friend of mine as well. Wait until the elders go behind your back telling your close friends that you were questioning the fds but it's ok to still say hello to you for your not df'd yet. That just happened to us last week. After we left the hall, two weeks later there's a talk on apostacy and after elders went around telling people who that talk was for. It's been a year since we haven't gone and the elders are starting to tighten the noose. Exciteing times ahead, Julia.
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Fernando
The more I enjoy the company of members of the human family, the less I miss my previous and relatively small family of blind, ignorant, loveless and bigoted supremacists.
Yes, I know most are not evil, just captive and lost. Their self-righteousness is mostly not malignant. Their ignorance is also mostly not militant.
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punkofnice
Julia, cobber, I'm shooting straight from the hip here.....
She was your friend ONLY BECAUSE you had a study
She was your friend ONLY BECAUSE you went to meetings
She was your friend ONLY BECAUSE you got craptized
She was your friend ONLY BECAUSE (Insert your own CULT reason).
In short she was a 'conditional' friend in a cult and for cult reasons.
An old friend of mine once said that you have to be true to yourself. In doing so those people who remain your friend are true friends. Those that draw away are not worth anything.
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outofthelionsden
so sorry Julia! I'm in the same shoes. last week over 20 friends unfriended me on FB and yesterday I noticed that my best friend of over 20 years also unfriended me and took me off all her networks, it hurts so much even though you know its going to happen.what bothers me the most is that they could at least contact you, anything? something? but no they play there game to blackmail you emotionally.
in my case nobody has contacted us not even the elders its been almost 1 year since our last meeting!
but even though im not DF"d even friends from other states heard that i stopped going so im being shunned.
Your not alone in this trial, were all hear with you!
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label licker
One other thing that is helpful for me is I keep a recording device on me when I go out just in case you run into a witless. They think they are doing a service by trying to slip you up with something you've said and go back and report it to the elders. Even if it's not true. After the taping we put it onto our computer for future reference, if need be. You never know what accusations will come out of all this. Since then I have total confidence and am looking for these suckers to try and say something I never said. I go out not scared wondering who I will run into. Sisters run the other way but the brothers are extremely bold. When the elders approached the one couple about us, the sister put her hand up to his face and said she did not want to hear any gossip about us. We told the overseer at bethel that one and got our instructions to wait to see what these guys will do and then we do our next move. It's like we're playing chess using real people. Chin up and be proud of what and who you are. Remember who created who you are. It wasn't your friend or the religion. Believe in yourself!
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jgnat
In C. S. Lewis's last book about Narnia, there is a description of dwarves in Heaven. Lost in their own beliefs, they were unaware of their surroundings. They continued to bicker amongst themselves, grabbing what scraps they could from their neighbours. When I think of Witnesses huddled in their meetings, ignorantly shunning loved-ones outside their doors, I often think of those dwarves.
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hoser
One other thing that is helpful for me is I keep a recording device on me when I go out just in case you run into a witless. They think they are doing a service by trying to slip you up with something you've said and go back and report it to the elders. Even if it's not true.
very good idea
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Vidqun
One knows it's inevitable, but still shock to the system. You have my sympathy. I reason this way: One needs friends that you can trust, that will stick with you through thick and thin (Prov. 17:17; 18:24). Conditional love and friendship are meaningless.
