by Julia Orwell 64 Replies latest jw friends
Hi Julia Orwell, Why not send her a short reply back?
If she was my friend, I would at least write that I love her unconditionally and that 20 years of friendship with her are very important to me. If she changes her mind about getting together to laugh, talk, and doing (whatever you liked doing and talking about together), feel free to contact me, because life is too short and unpredictable to have regrets.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
She messaged me saying that today's text better expresses how she feels. Must be a guilt text. I replied to her to the effect I was just a bit disappointed she never gave me an explanation or asked my side of the story or anything like that. Simple and sweet. We actually haven't seen each other for ages except for Facebook.
Wew I hate the unloving attitudes of the JWs.
Hope you can find a healthy place to worship.
I am very sorry what you are going through, my situation is all my immediate family shuns me to a certain extent, it hurts, I haven't associated with any of my immediate family for over 2 years, sometimes I run into family like in a grocery store and they still talk to me but my dad said that I am not allowed to go over to their house and visit, I can feel your pain, it hurts beyond anything I have had hurt, its even more worser hurt then a girlfriend breaking up with me.
There are several things I have done to keep the hurt down and over time I am healing, I have for one thing found my own path in life, for one thing I workout now which helps out alot, I go to either the YMCA or I bought a bicycle and ride it on bike trails, also for an interest I have taken up dancing and have discovered that dancing is one of my passions, one other thing I do is I have found new friends that I consider family, also keep this in mind everyday that things can change, you never know when your friend will wake up, I look foward to the time when some of my family members will wake up and I look foward to helping them out of the cult.
I faded and had a JW-friend of 30-plus years drop me an email that he could no longer be my friend unless I returned to Jehovah. I sent him a letter back saying that respected his decision, but that I viewed this friendship-cancellation as single-sided, still viewed him as my friend and that my door remained open for him. You could do something similar. Remain yourself, remain human - leave the emotion out and show yourself to stand higher ground. (((hugs to you)))
Julia,
I have been keeping up with your goings-on and remain captivated by your story. Thank you for the continual updates.
I just want to say I'm sorry for what you're going through. It sucks. I'm not sure what more to say than that. I have no words of wisdom for you because I am in the same boat and...well...still trying to navigate the waves of my emotions. Although I have been experiencing the shunning from some these past few months (due to elders in my home congregation calling my old congregations 3,000 miles away), I just recently da'ed and have experienced the pain of being shunned by the people I care about the most. I suppose the last of them were waiting for an announcement to come from the platform. Even when you try to prepare for it mentally, the shunning hurts. It's so completely awful. One moment I'm crying (something I don't do often) and then the next moment I'm in a rage (an emotion I'm more familiar with). It's a rollercoaster of emotions. It cuts deep. My sympathies...can't ever completely understand the pain of another person, but for what it's worth, I kinda feel ya (as most on this forum do, as they have been there or will be there). Though I have yet to experience them, I'm confident there will be sunny days ahead for both of us. Until then, we are all here for one another to listen and to try to provide whatever comfort that we can. I hope you feel the support.
I do, eve, thanks.
Funnily enough I spoke to my friend via Facebook and she refriended me...I guess she is human, though she doesn't know the full extent of my 'apostasy' and that I no longer go to meetings. I'm not sure I should accept he friend request for ky own mental health as a fader, but maybe I should because I made such a song and dance over it...
It's a very confusing time. So many of you have it so much worse than me, but you keep on being strong! My hat goes off to you.
Not really the true friends they claim go be. They are fakes ones. Its their loss not yours.
Scott77
Julia, I am very sorry this has happened to you. I think most of us understand what you are going through. It is a very cruel religion and this does amount to bullying. This was one of the things I had the hardest time with and I resigned myself to the fact that I would lose most if not all of my "friends". I have a therapist and my family (none of my family are JW's) that helped me realize that these "friendships" were conditional and they were right. The other day I deleted all JW's from my FB with the exception of three people which I will probably delete them too. I have decided I don't need the stress any longer and I am tired of hiding the things I want to do like celebrating the holidays. I also felt relieved after I did it. I think as you continue to heal you will see that the friendship wasn't what you thought it was. Hang in there it is a roller coaster of emotions.
My family are not Jw either, and it's a tremendous help.
