Julia, I am thankful my family is not in because they have been a real source of comfort and love to us. I really feel for those that are shunned by their family. Take your time in deciding if you want to re friend her. I have really taken my time in every decision I have made during this past year and so far it has paid off. Hang in there!
Julia gets hit with the Shun Gun for the first time...and it really hurts.
by Julia Orwell 64 Replies latest jw friends
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mgmelkat
Sorry to hear that!! I got reinstated 3 and a half years ago (the humiliating process of which was a real eye opener to me!! Have faded out now though, stay this way because I have too many important family members in the JW) and even after I was reinstated I had a friend who was closer than a sister who couldn't forgive me for ever leaving in the first place. She still treats me like a disfellowshipped peron.
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Band on the Run
Please I can't stop reading books, I chase down poor NT profs, confront psychiatrists all to place my trauma in perspective. I once thought that this knowledge would empower me to not hurt inside. After decades of heavy involvement in other denominations and advanced study, it still hurts. My experience in NY yesterday confirmed for me that I will never be read of the JW section of my brain and even my inner core. Altho I repudiate it with force, it remains. More study has convinced me that it will always be there. I am not a powerless person, though. My job is to integrate the JW part of me with my other parts. Embracing it with boundaries might empower me to fight it more effectively.
I don't think it is wise, particularly with professionals, to scream how much I hate them and rip my clothes apart, sitting in sackcloth and ashes. So many times I say "I was raised a JW" with clinical detachment. People don't like ranting and raving. I can't tell you how many times someone I respect deeply has told me, "I was not aware of that. You must be so proud of yourself. What a remarkable journey. It could not be easy." The state does not matter, the education does not matter.
Of course, my closest friends know the full extent of my rage. Knowledge alone and a subway token will get you to Brooklyn. I don't mean Bethel. It is a NY expression. The mean Brooklyn, Brooklyn. Not Bethel.
I wish I could help your pain. What is so good about this forum is knowing I am not alone. Individual Witnesses can be very good people which makes the rejection ever harder.
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Sparlock the Wizard
Sorry to hear about it, Julia. Thankfully, I have kept pretty quiet about my beliefs for the most part and have not faced any shunning, although I have tremendous respect for those who do come out and speak their mind more openly. Hopefully your friend will realize her mistake.
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Julia Orwell
I'm about to lose a lot more friends when the JW gossip machine kicks off after what I told my friend today about how I was treated, that I'm inactive now and the UN thing.
Word spreads like wildfire among JWs.