Should all elders be painted with the same brush? (page 2)

snare&racket

Not that easy though cantleave, there is a lot to consider. Though I do agree with you.

i certainly believe that an awakened elder should not involve himself in other people's lives i.e. guidance/advice and of course judicial roles.

Cantleave: If you say so, but there are probably thousands of people who are free to speak and associate with their families and friends today because an enlightened elder served on their judicial committee and refused to DF. Just a thought.

jean-luc picard

An interesting thread Socrates.

In answer to your question: certainly not.

I think, in fact, that most of the male members on the board, have served as an elder.

It is as an elder, that you really see what goes on behind the scenes, what is said, how they react, ect. Even though the R&F can guess, as an eleder you actually SEE it. And for a good number, they are disgusted, and disappointed.

Yours is a difficult situation I have seen it before. You know, of course , that you will not succeed in changing them. Even the much awaited CO "he will sort it out!" can do very little.

I wish you lots of strength in the meantime. On the board you can vent freely at least. You will find some who disagree with you, but many who understand from personal experience.

Good luck with your family.

jlp

Socrateswannabe

Jean-Luc, thank you for your good wishes and you are right. The R&F have no idea that the Org is no different from any other corporation. There is backbiting, infighting, powergrabbing and all other manner of shenannigans that are disguesting and off-putting to anyone with a conscience. There are consequences to staying in and their are consequences to fading out. The JW religion makes it difficult on all of us.

nugget

Not all elders are bad I knew some that I truly respected and could see that they were trying to set a good example in their own lives. These men were compassionate, reasonable and loving shepherds. I also knew some who were in it for the power and control and unfortunately these ones are the ones with the greatest influence and control in the congregations.

People are people, there are good and bad everywhere. Elders who learn TTAT are in a difficult position since they may feel that remaining in that position gives them the ability to help. However this may not be as easy as imagined since other elders also bring their own agendas and influence into the mix. There is also the problem that as an elder you will be under more scrutiny than the average publisher and it is harder to walk away or reduce involvement.

I found it very hard to go on the ministry, answer up or even sit through a meeting once I was aware. Having to do talks, counsel others or discipline people would have been beyond me.

gma-tired2

i am writing this as a woman who was around males who I knew before and after they became Elders. Most of the ones I knew were very loving kind men before they were Elders as to the idea of putting on a new personality I watched this happen before my very eyes. I saw many change so dramatically from the kind loving person,to the totally company man, I saw others become company men when at KH but still loving when one on one, others who I know were living a totally double life. I have watched many of these men over a time period of 65 Years. I have watched a cousin who was so fun loving who now is a company man who rejects his own children. I have friends who no longer comfortable when we call, we limit the calls. What breaks my heart and made me back away from being a JW was watching my friends change and not to be more loving persons but men I no longer recoqnized. Some of these men I have known from infancy, others I met and loved were friends of my husband when we married 47 years ago. Do I hate them NO but I now have to protecr myself from some of these men. I hate that they still have the power to hurt those I love only because of the change in personallity.I hope this makes a little sense but fear it is a jumble because my mind is being jumbled from my thoughts of all Elders I have known, what they were like before the position and what happened after the TITLE. I don't hate any of them but afraid of the new personalities.

gingerbread

As we 'mature' in the organization we take on more 'privileges.' We feel good and know in our hearts and minds that it's the right thing to do. Our family applaudes us. Others compliment our advancement.

At some point most servants and elders will begin to see our religion for what it truly is - a faith based on legalism and not on undeserved kindness. It's the closeness of 'working together' in a congregation that we begin to see how it's all about rules, regulations and directives. Most that have been 'in the truth' for years (50 years for me) or generations (3 for me) will seek to justify the inequity of our religion by blaming it on another person i.e. that jackass elder. As elders, we see that the problems lays in the organizational structure (and the abuse of it).

As we begin to accept the realities of our religion, it also calls for personal honesty. We're used to group thinking and group control. Deciding to take control of your life (and the happiness of your family) takes real courage. You cannot please everyone. And, you can't walk on a tight rope forever.

This is the problem I personally face. The pressure to serve. I need to stay in for family, but I am seriously thinking of going inactive on purpose just so they(the elder body) will leave me alone.

Of course they are under immense pressure from the CO to get the slackers like me to perform.

the higher rung of the ladder you are on the more severe the pressure

hoser

Should all elders be painted with the same brush?

snare&racket

Socrateswannabe

jean-luc picard

Socrateswannabe

nugget

gma-tired2

gingerbread

Socrateswannabe

stillin

hoser

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