Evil prevails when good men do nothing....... enough said.
Should all elders be painted with the same brush?
by Socrateswannabe 62 Replies latest jw friends
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LisaRose
Thank you for posting, I feel your pain. It is understandable that you wish to keep family and friends and I do think you do some good by being a reasonable elder. Of course many of us have struggled with this issues, elder or not. I will tell you that I am glad I did leave, even though I lost family and friends, and I only wish I had done it sooner. While loosing family family and friends is a huge price to pay, so is living a lie.
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Aunt Fancy
Have you ever talked to your wife about how you feel about the religion? She may have feelings about it but is just too afraid to tell her elder husband. My husband was an elder for years and he stepped down but never told me the real reason until we faded because he didn't have it totally figured out. All he knew was that he didn't like what he saw but he was a born in with many generations of Witnesses and thought he knew the "truth". I was so upset when he stepped down until last year when I found out the real reason and because he didn't want to partake in something that was hurting others I have a lot more respect for him. I am glad he stood his ground and did the right thing. I appreciate his integrity and that he showed me the respect to listen to my feelings. I was the one that started to read and research and I would tell him bits and pieces and one day when he gave me the canned answer JW's have for everything I came back at him with "that is exactly what the books said you would say", at that point he said ok let me read the book which was Crisis of Conscience. He started reading it and by the 3rd chapter he knew he was out. He then read many other books and I know he was on the edge so it didn't take much to help him realize that this wasn't "the truth". We have been fading for almost a year now and it is such freedom.
Sometimes I wonder if spouses just assume their mates wouldn't listen or think they are very devout. I never thought my husband would leave it and yet he did within a very short time of showing him the facts. He has 5 generation on one side of his family and 6 on the other so his family has a long history with the religion going back to the early 1900's. Talk about brain washing!!
Maybe this will help in some way and maybe not. I will say that the freedom we are both living is very worth it. To live an authentic life feels good and even though it has been a roller coaster things are leveling out. Our 31 year marriage has gotten even better since going through this. Who would have thought that leaving that crazy cult would make life so much better.