Family is drawing the line in the sand (page 3)

blondie

Emotional blackmail....it is hard but don't put all your emotional eggs into one family basket. Make new friends, new activities. Find out that the WTS judgmental way is not all there is in the human family. When I went to all the meetings, pioneered, was a good example in the comgregation my jy family played emotional games. I read a book about emotional blackmail and learned many ways to combat. I found that the price that my father and mother demanded for them to "love" me was too high and I took myself out of contact with them.

http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Blackmail-People-Obligation-Manipulate/dp/0060928972#_

Roberta804

Let them draw the line anywhere they wish. But you draw a line too. If they cannot respect your beliefs or lack of, you do not owe them any explanation. Oh.... Never put anything in writing. If you write your DA letter, or anything similar to attempt to explain yourself, FORGET IT! Your family will turn the letter over to the elders, or the elders put it in a safe FOREVER.

If you happen to be buddies with the secretary, have him pull your publishers' card or any other information in print they may have on you. Only the secretary will have it.

Get a key to the KH, look for where those records are kept (look for a locked cabinet or safe) and figure out how to get into it. Hint: the secretary has the key/combo to any locked cabinet or safe, but a single lesson in lock picking and a little practice and you can open anything.

Be proactive........ not reactive. Get what is YOURS and leave.

flipper

Blondie has some really great advice there to start making new friends outside the JW cult. Get busy doing activities with these friends and you could say" I'm SO busy this weekend.... sorry I just have so much on my plate ! "

The thing is if you come out and are blatantly honest with them- then depending on HOW fanatic your JW family is - you may open a can of worms for yourself greater than the can of worms you already have. Once you become a common conversation piece of elders, fanatic JW family and come into their radar constantly - they will KEEP you the constant source of their conversations and will make it difficult for you to fade away peacefully. I would tell them as little as possible. You do NOT owe them an explanation. Just say " it's personal " - and that YOU are working at it- which is TRUE ! You are working at it in your OWN way, at your OWN pace, and according to your OWN desires- nobody elses.

So this is just an idea , then let them pry no further. JW's are ridiculous and VERY different from people in the real world in that they show NO respect for boundaries or our privacy. Some of the most snoopy, nosy people on the planet in my opinion. But you stand your ground- show authentic family love to them- just stay off JW topics and talk about other interests, movies, music, weather, hobbies you and hubby have- ANYTHING other than JW stuff and I think it will go smoother for you. It's how I've handled my JW family fading into inactivity for almost 10 years now. Good luck ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Giordano

The unassailable position is that until the WTBTS and the local congregations straighten out their pedophile issue you do not want to approach unaware households in field service. You are praying for the damaged JW children and their families and for the society to make serious changes in an issue they have ignored for too many years. Let your family argue the merits of that.

flipper

I might add it's like your family is playing a " power game " here trying to control you or what you do, or how you view things- so you have to grab that power control stick BACK and YOU make the rules, YOU draw the line in the sand regarding what conversations you will or will not have. Believe me, your family will get the point and they will see that they cannot FORCE you to reveal or divulge what you don't want to reveal. Just my 2 cents. Peace out, mr. Flipper