Wow, that's tough. Keep reminding yourself that your mother is being influenced by a cult, she is trying to do what she thinks will help. That being said, she seems to be making things worse for you, so it might be time to limit contact with her. You have been trying to walk a tightrope of begging for the favor of her company, while staying inactive, but is it worth it? Only you can answer that, but when I left I was almost happy to get away from my overly critical mother. I was never a good enough dub for her anyway.
As far as your husband, you may want to consider counseling, not the elders, real marriage counseling. It puts a strain on marriage when you go different ways like this, especially when this religion is involved. You need help to negotiate this. Your husband is angry, that is understandable, but you have rights too. You shouldn't have to practice a religion you do not believe in, if you are crying all the time that tells me you are struggling and need the support of a third party who can help you get through this. If your husband won't go, then go yourself. You have rights in this, there is no reason to be miserable. Your kids will be fine when you are. Show your children that you don't need this religion to be happy and to be a good parent.
It's time to start making new friends outside the religion, you will need them to get through this.
Take care (((hug)))) You can get through this.