Part 3: My mother continues to try to ruin me
by sosoconfused 36 Replies latest jw experiences
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Oubliette
Guilt, guilt, guilt!
What a lovely little religion.
Sorry you're going through this. This is the only way they know how to "motivate" (READ: Manipulate) people.
Hang in there. You're doing the right thing.
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flipper
SOSOCONFUSED- Hang in there kiddo. As you stated your mom is mentally off due to the cult mind control of the WT Society's influence. This cult mind control influence actually creates a lack or non existence of true human empathy in these JW's and they develop an actual psychological disorder called " dissociative disorder " - wherein they justify within themselves boorish, inhumane behavior claiming they are pleasing " God " by doing so. Steve Hassan mentions this in his books on mind control. By doing the shunning and guilt trips they lay on inactive or DFed family members. It truly IS insane behavior. Hang in there, we are here as a support to you my friend. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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Quandry
I read mom's letter.
Here's another way to look at it. She is a most loyal Jdub, and you can't fault her for that. However, she certainly seems to love you, and of course, wants the best for you. It's just that the best as she sees it is in the organization. Think back to a time when you also would have felt the same way if she and your dad had left the organization.
How about just thanking mom for her loving concern? Appreciate that you do have parents that love you. Mine are gone now, and all too soon yours will be also.
Could you just ask that you not discuss the matter for awhile? Maybe just tell them you have to think a few things out on your own. Probably skip the part where you thing the WTS is rotten, etc.
Maybe you can have somewhat of a relationship. Under the circumstances, it is better than nothing.
Hope the best for you.
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sosoconfused
Again thank you all!
I got a phone ccall about 40 minutes ago at which point I expressed, "I would just like some time for you guys to leave us alone so that as a family we can cntinue to evaluate things." It was met with, "There is no time for evaluation. The celestial chariot turns on a dime and if we are not with each turn we will never catch up. I can't believe you would do this to us!!!" Then she hung up.
i called back and she just lets it ring... This is precisely why I will never allow my children to grow up in this religion
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Roberta804
And I thought I had the only Toxic parent in the world! I hate to break it to you.... but you HAVE to come to terms with the absolute fact she does not care how you feel PERIOD! See her as she truly is, a self absorbed pathitic woman. Sure she deserves for you to honor her as your mother.... God did not say you had to LOVE her or even like her. Make sure she is taken care of in her old age but that is it.
From just reading her letter to you I can make a lot of asumptions. She was never interested in you education, you most likely were a victim of bullying and all she would do about it is remind you that persecution is to be expected as a JW. And if you allow her, she would demand from you that she is the most important person in you life.
You, my friend, are only an object to her, not a person with thoughts and feelings of your own.
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LostGeneration
The hang up???? Wow, how 7 year old of her. Don't ever call back if someone hangs up on you, manipulation at its worst.
Next time she calls, make sure you discuss that act of cowardice first. If she does not apologize for it, tell her you have NOTHING to discuss with her until she can act like an adult.
These cultists think they can get away with anything, and treat people any way they want because their God says its OK to do so, the quicker you cut off that behavior the better.
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mrsjones5
You and me both Roberta. I think about that every time I speak to my mother. The boundries can't ever be let down though I am often tempted. I used to give in to the temptation to my detriment.
Hang in there Soso. Your job right now is to protect your family and your own sanity.
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Quendi
I completely agree with what Quandry counseled you. My immediate family are not Witnesses. However, I knew some women who considered themselves to be my spiritual mothers. When I told them I would no longer seek reinstatement, their reactions were similar to your mother’s. I thanked them for their concern and moved on with my life. Living your life, and living it well, will say more to your mother and anyone else seeking to draw you back into the cult than any amount of arguing and reasoning will. Hang in there! It will get better. By the way, I also completely agree with your determination not to raise your children in this cult. Next to loving their mother, that is the greatest gift you can give to them.
Quendi
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blondie
So, very manipulative letter. Interestingly, it comes from your mother not her spiritual head your father......
No mention of Jesus.........
So depression is from Satan? Is cancer, heart disease, etc. Or is it that bad things happen to us all.
(Ecclesiastes 9:11) 11 I returned to see under the sun that the swift do not have the race, nor the mighty ones the battle, nor do the wise also have the food, nor do the understanding ones also have the riches, nor do even those having knowledge have the favor; because time and unforeseen occurrence befall them all.
Remember according to the WTS Satan uses family members to pull people away from God. Could Satan be using your mother...perhaps. That's if you believe that crap.