Me. 2 weeks on.

by wizzstick 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  wizzstick

  It's now two weeks since I started posting on this board. So how is my journey going?

  Between this board, JW Facts, the WT Online Library, the WT CD-Rom, the Kingdom Interlinear, Strong’s Concordance and Wikipedia, I've been researching furiously. Literally furiously, to be honest. 25 years ago I was preparing for baptism. Simply accepting what a good family friend was telling me.

  But now I'm looking for the first time in depth. Really studying and what do I find?

  • That as a prospective (they never highlight that point) member of the Great Crowd I'm off to heaven after the Big A. WHAT THE HELL? How come they never clarified that little point? The explanations on Naos are a sham, and the 1980 WT article was nothing short of a deception.
  • That Jesus is not my mediator?! WHAT? WHAAAT? Arguably the stupidest idea going. How do I avail myself of his mediatorship? Oh he's my High Priest only is he? And where is that in the Bible?
  • Then science...realising that radiocarbon dating now proves that men existed before Adam. That Neanderthals were people. That there is no evidence whatsoever for the flood...

  *sigh*

  So that sound you can hear is my faith smashing all over the place.

  My dear wife and friends are of course still committed JW's. I've had a few conversations...a couple of penny dropping moments before they fell back on tried and tested "Satan deceives" conversation stoppers. But I'm already prepping for next time. If Satan wasn't created Satan, and only became Satan over what he did in Eden, then how could he have influenced things pre 4000BCE? Why would he have influenced such things? Afterall he wasn't Satan at that point! What things? Things like the carbon 14 levels 50,000 years ago. Man made settlements. Neanderthals.

  This process is like having a close friend or family member die. It's painful, bewildering and has acute sense of loss. But I will carry on. And, I'll keep gently plugging away to bring others away too.
• 

  breakfast of champions

  This process is like having a close friend or family member die.

  That is exactly what it is like. Excellent choice of words.
• 

  Ding

  Often, when a JW starts to see things, the natural reaction is to tell friends and family.

  That's usually a big mistake because most of them aren't ready to hear it.

  You have to proceed slowly if you want to be effective with others.

  Be very careful what you say to JW friends and family unless you don't care about being DFd and cut off.
• 

  leavingwt

  It can be a little overwhelming at first. It may take quite a few weeks to wrap your head around it.

  If you haven't do so already, please read this book:

  http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0914675044/ref=dp_olp_used/175-7628770-5252155?ie=UTF8&condition=used
• 

  wizzstick

  Thanks all.

  I am being careful. Only two big conversations. With very liberal friends who know that I know where their skeletons in the closet are! I've not even said anything to my wife. Just that I'm researching.

  I am reading CoC. Truly a book written in sadness rather than in anger.
• 

  Sapphy

  I've been slowly decompressing for ages. Like you I went through a furious reading stage, I learned so much about doctrine & the society.

  It really is like a death, and you may feel the shock, anger, depression that comes with it, in varying degrees.

  So be kind to yourself and remember to give yourself time and space to process. Take your wife out to dinner & do something fun, and don't talk about religion.

  Of course the real 'fun' starts when you apply the same investagative rigor to the question of "Is the Bible really inspired?" or "Is there a God who cares?"

  Good Luck.
• 

  sspo

  You're going thru what most of us have already experienced many years ago about the lies and deception of the watchtower.
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  gingerbread

  I began the de-construction of my faith...in this faith...about 2 years ago. The process began not out of anger (though I have plenty of reason), but out of the need to understand why I believe what I believe. Eventually I came to understand the history of basic WT doctrines & customs, the WTBTS, it's founders, the 'organization', etc. The more I dug for answers the more questions I found unanswered.

  The emotional impact on you will be draining. Learn to take breaks and 'catch your breath.' You now have the time.
• 

  AnnOMaly

  This is the worst time. As other have said, it IS like a bereavement. Be patient with yourself and don't try to pin down too much too soon. Hard I know, when a million questions and thoughts are constantly firing around your head, from when you wake up until when you fall asleep (and sometimes invading your dreams too).
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  cantleave

  It does get better, and don't give up on your family!