confusedandalone
1009, you sound like you are actually someone posing as no longer one of JW's when you are infact probably a high hour publisher who recently got involved in some form of wrongdoing that you are afraid to go to the brothers with. You think that coming here and challenging apostates and lashing disfellowshipped ones you are making an atonement for your sin that you are afraid to take before the brothers because of the damage it will cause your family...
I would like to react at this right now because I see that some of you doubt my sincerity.
I am 36 years old Dutchmen and was a 3th generation JW. My father left us when I was 6 and he got DF. Got baptized when I was 14 (1991), started pioneering at 18 (1995), I became MS at 20 (1997), and married another pioneer at 22 (1999). I lost my 'priviliges' after a number of years because of pornography. I regained them again, and we started 'serving' in the foreign langauge field. As MS I was invited to held talks in our and in other congrations in the country. I worked hard in the congregation and I also considered it a 'privilige' to assist our CO in a number of organizational matters.
During the years I always had contact with my DF father. The elders knew that, and never made a problem out of it. My mother became inactive a few years ago. I'm visiting this board for years because I always found interesting things. I also red parts of R. Franz' book. But those never raised any doubts in me.
I had marital problems, and prayed a lot. Years of praying. Finally I concluded that, despite the millions of promises in the Bible, God does not help in any way. That most of the Bible is illogical (I line with https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOfjkl-3SNE). My faith was destroyed. I got myself a girlfriend, left my ex-wife over a year ago and got DF .
I started working fulltime for the first time in my life, moved to Colombia and married my loving girlfriend. Right now I do not believe in a God, nor in the Bible, nor in what JW teach. I feel free and happier as ever .