by frankiespeakin 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Devil,
Sorry if I missunderstood you but it seemed like an analogy so I went with it. Anyway I like the wiki article and was looking for an opportunity to post the link.
I'm glad you have taken a stand BTW but don't want to push others eithers way so as not to give them a direct to go just things to consider, because it is a big decision on their shoulders or a lot on their plate, so to speak.
They will rationalize all kinds of things even if the narcissistic abuse is not rational or fruitful to them. They may even rationalize that they deserve it if they do not have high self esteem themselves. A person with high self esteem is not going to put up with it. They are going to say no. That’s enough. We don’t have to keep reiinforcing the pathological space and we don’t have to keep giving the narcissist the ability to continue obtaining narcissisitic supply from the same sources. go find new sources of narcissistic supply becomes the battle cry. Go find new a new pathological space becomes the game.
Well I did find out that I was in a cult of lies. I opted to leave. I knew the consequinces and have absolutely no regrets.
Some of us can't leave. This is ironic. The WTS is shooting themsleves in the foot. Peoplee like me who can't leave can do more damage within. I fail to see their policy in ways.
I have lead 2 witnesses to the 'truth'... (Science, archeology) but one is still in (her choice) the other faded...
What I fail to see is that if the WTS has such a hold on people why is it not banned by the US goveernment... w question all should ask...
Good for you @HowTheBibleWasInvented. You stay with that abusive husband. It would certainly be WAY more drama than leaving... I mean, with the kids and all. Plus, you are right... YOU CAN CHANGE HIM.
And if you have to overly justify yourself to people, well what do they know? They are just people on the outside who don't get you, your situation, or your needs. SCREW THEM. You know what's best for you.
Phizzy: if you have self respect it is impossible to live a lie.
True. That's why I only PRETEND to live a lie. The only people that are fooled are JWs. Interestingly, I've gotten to a place where I discovered it's easy to fool them because they WANT to believe. I never lie, I am myself around them. They only see what they want to see.
Of course I don't divulge everything I do to the JWs that know me. I don't tell them about the cigars I have or the DF'd people that are my close friends or the B-day parties I attend. I don't lie about any of those things, I just don't tell them. It's strictly on a need to know basis and they don't need to know.
I think many are in your position Oub, which must be a little like being a "sleeper" that the Secret services of the West sent in to Communist Bloc countries, unable to express their true thoughts, feelings and loyalties. Not easy.
The parallel between the WT and Totalitarian regimes is a powerful one, so be careful my friend !
A friend of mine got in to a bit of trouble, he was and is an active believing JW, but had spoken his mind at home, and his views were outed at a meeting by his young daughter, aged about three, she loudly said "This is soooo boring, we've heard it all before".
Be as cautious as a dove.
As I said above, if one's motive is laudable, then staying in is necessary, but there are a few who simply fear the loss of family so much they are afraid to be honest. If I was going to lose my kids by leaving, I would still be in, but the rest of the family, Mom, Dad , siblings, if they cannot respect my right to think and believe as I want, then I did/do not mind losing them, they are mind-controlled cult drones, not really my family.
As it happens, my experience has been, and that of others on here, that I have not been cut off by family, just "distanced". Mind you, I have been careful not to be Df'd or DA'd.
But until you take the walk away from the cult, you do not know what will happen in many instances.
Why on God's Green Earth would you be afraid of these guys???
It's way easier to stay in MHO if you are still a believer in god, Jesus and the bible. Your core beliefs can stay the same and emotionally you can tolerate a slow fade.
If you have become a non believer it is very hard to tolerate the JW hogwash at the meetings, read the publications and go out in field service. It used to make my skin crawl to be anywhere around it. Even forty years latter the JW funeral commercial makes we want to get up and leave, which basically I do now.
If I was trying to fade today I'd think I'd be on secure ground objecting to the way the WT has and continues to handle their pedophile problem. Children must be kept safe there's no waiting on Jah when it comes to sexual abuse. Or any kind of abuse by the way. By keeping the congregation in the dark they are endangering children both at the KH and assemblies as well as the public through their field service. To make matters worse some of these pedophiles have worked themselves into positions of responsibility. If I was talking to family and/or friends I'd use the example of how the Catholic church has handled their pedo problem. Or How Penn State ignored Sanduskies abuse of children for over 20 years. I'd then mention how the WT has handled the problem and all of the law suits. Once someone understands that JWs also have a serious pedophile issue, one of their own making, it's going to be difficult to make a big deal out of you fading or leaving.
@Oubliette (This is going to come out WAY wrong and agressive, but I honestly assure you... it is not meant to be such).
However you describe it, you're still a liar. The justification of whether you lie to the Witnesses, lie to yourself, or lie to the world around you is that it's okay to lie to the greater of evils - it's okay to lie to the liar. And yeah, that's true, I suppose... but you're still lying, which makes you no better than them. The act in itself makes puts you in the same catagory as the Witnesses, so in the grander scheme, you're not really advancing the journey of life iside your heart or increasing connectivity to the world around you.
It's understandable, but everything you are holding on to is internalized and self consuming. You may have shifted lies away from what the Witnesses teach to lying to the Witnessees themselves... or lying to yourself while making yourself some sort of makeshift martyr. Whatever you choose is your choice. We can't judge you for it and I personally will not condemn anyone for staying in (I was about to do it for years myself). But I think our point (at least my point) is that it's better not to lie at all. It frees you up to do everything else on the planet... and there is A LOT to do on this planet... without having the unnecessary weight of trying to justify what you do, when you do it, how you do it, and why you did it.
Instead, it's better to just... DO. Live. Learn. Love. Lies only cloud the purity of the beauty that is around us, moves through us, and works within us. If that is not important to you, then to hell with everyone commenting on this thread. If it is important to you, then FYI: it's self defeating to stay with that abusive husband, become addicted to the drama, and justify that black eye to others while not socially participating in activities to the fullest. It's just how it goes, a natural pattern of life. Nothing more.
