Regrets for knowing the TATT? Strange feeling overcoming...

by BluePill2 32 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Newly Enlightened

  I understand how you feel. We have 'lost' all of our friends and family. Unfortunately if you try to go back in, they still won't 'trust' you and will still have limited contact.

  I know it is difficult. But we cannot get thru that cognitive resonance and mind control fromt he cult.

  Please hang in there

  My little brother went apostate and because the family shunned him, he killed himself. I regret that very much because, now that I am out, I wish he was still around so that we could be 'out' of the Borg together.

  Point is...Don't give up. You don't know that 1, 5, 10 years from now, one of your family members may wake up and see it for what it is A Satanic cult that destroys families
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  70wksfyrs

  I can feel your pain. Yes I have been through a similar experience to you. You miss your duaghter, and the legal fight was traumatic. I am D'fd and my JW ex-husband faught for custody, lied to social workers, the Judge, poilce and Elders, he tried to lie to our son as well, but he wasn't as easily fooled. I couldn't bear it at all if I never got to see my precious son, I get contact once a week because my son acted out to the social workers about wanting to live with his mum.

  I really feel for you, not having contact with your daughter. She needs a loving dad in her life, and no one can replace you. You are unique to her. So for her sake, don't do anything stupid. Stay around for her, she might want to contact you in the future and you can then tell her TTATT, one step at a time.

  My heart goes out to you so much, I really wish you could see your daughter and if I coould arrange that for you I most surely would. I hope you do see her soon.

  Take good care of yourself, we are here to get you through
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  ILoveTTATT

  Hey!! PLEASE don't do anything drastic!! PLEASE talk to us, or a crisis help line. DON'T do anything even similar to putting a gun to your temple.

  What you need is HOPE... and I am giving you some: I myself would have never guessed coming to this website and posting every day and for all intents and purposes being a "secret apostate"... I have talked to my cousin who has been DF'd for 10 years+ and he was very happy to talk to me. HANG IN THERE!! You never know when someone else in your family, independently, will learn TTATT and come be your family again...

  There are LOTS of good people here... vent here!!

  ILTTATT
• 

  Giordano

  I understand your pain but what I don't understand is why you do not have some level of visitation rights with your daughter.
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  BluePill2

  Dear friends,

  I don't know how to thank you. Your words and thoughts are more than you might think. I appreciate your precious time to write these things up.

  As I've said, I took off to walk (it always helps, sometimes to go for a run as your brain chemistry changes). Usually I am very optimistic and don't tend to depression, but lately this has become a burden.

  You have helped me to carry it a bit more along the way.

  I will hang in there, my daughter will thank me one day. Always fighting (first because of my change in thinking about the Borg and now because of family issues) is exhausting.

  You are all wonderful human beings and with your posts have done more than my own mother for the past year. I wish you all the Best in your Lifes. May we all find peace and a meaningful Life. One day I want to be able to say that it was all worth it. Right now, the consequences of seeking freedom felt more like a kick to the stomach.

  Thank you all!!!!
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  BluePill2

  Just to explain (some have mentioned this): Visitation rights are one thing. The reality is somewhat different. You end up always chasing your "rights" and it isn't as easy as it looks on a written paper. I do have the rights, but she moved away, leaving no address behind, so I lost contact for a pretty long time. Then you have to decide how you will handle the results, and and and. Court rooms are one thing, the day to day hassles of dealing with the situation are another thing.

  I thank you all for the pm that I received. I will re-read them.
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  BluePill2

  Newly Enlightened: I am so sorry for your brother. That is so sad. It made me think. Thank you for sharing it here, maybe others - like me, will read your story and remember that there is no coming back from such a decision. Big hug to you.

  label licker: Big hug. Reading about your mother hurts. I appreciate your openness by sharing your private memories here. Appreciate that. Thank you.
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  BluesBrother

  Hi Bluepill. ...It is a sad fact that knowledge cannot be unlearned. A man could go through the reinstatement (if necessary) immerse himself in it all & do all they wanted.. but always, always there would be in his mind the knowledge that this is all B.S . I could not do it and I wager that you could not either.

  Some have feigned a reawakening, got reinstated and then stopped immediately. There is nothing they can do unless they are given fresh grounds to act. If the family are the type that just want an excuse to associate, they do so again.

  It sounds as though that would not happen to you ..so I guess there is no going back. I am glad that your later posts say that you are feeling better. Feel free to vent at anytime.......
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  label licker

  Bluepill2, my husband and I have no children between the two of us but he has three from his previous marriage gone bad. They listened to their mother who got paid off well. He lost a pile of money trying to fight to seeing them. All three got a good education, house paid for, food on the table and good clothes to wear thanks to dads monthly child support cheques which kept the mother from getting off her lazy butt to finding work. In the end what he thought was a lost battle has come to its end. The oldest who is in his mid thirties recently came over and said hi to him. When I met him, hubby asked if I knew this man and I said no. I hadn't seen him since his teens. We met his wife and three adopted children. He had a falling out with his mother so now he's wanting to meet his dad last year. They are not close and may never be close but from time to time they keep in contact since he lives in Europe and us in Ontario.

  He tried to talk to his daughter who happens to live fifteen minutes away but wants nothing to do with him. And the other son is still on a journey who hates the world and carries a chip onn his shoulders. He has nothing to do with anyone on this side of the family. It's really sad when they were younger if dad didn't give them money then he was a jerk so hubby stopped giving them money and they stopped coming around. The mother had filled their heads with garbage. But like I said these kids who are now in their thirties have their own lives and are busy. They were never jws but I'm sure the religion makes dam sure your kids are kept super busy. Don't give up. You never know what will happen to them when they are older. Their mother is the one who will have to live with the consequences of her horrible actions like keeping them away from you. Religion or no religion this happens alot. There are organisations that will support you and other fathers that are in the same shoes as you. Give them a try or just wait it out. One day your daughter might find out TTATT and she will need you. Don't give up and don't let her down when that day arrives.

  God bless
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  rmt1

  When I left I was cut off from all biological family. I took my time to carefully pick a girlfriend/wife, one that had a tight nuclear family and large extended family. Two other small criteria, but the family was the primary. I've been as adopted as adopted gets, they get the whole story, I don't miss the biological family in any way because the substitutes are better in mental, psychological, psychiatric, spiritual ways.