If you don't believe in God where do you get the strength to cope?

by Miss.Fit 151 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  OneEyedJoe

  I haven't bothered to read the whole thread, so maybe this has been said already, but here goes:

  You say you're learning to rely on yourself, but that's not really true. You're learning that you always have relied on yourself. You've gotten yourself this far without help, and you'll keep going just fine.

  Sometimes things are difficult, and it's nice to believe that you've put matters into the hands of a more powerful being, but really all you've been doing before is accepting that there are things in life that you can't change and moving on. You can certainly still do that, you'll just be conscious that that's what you're doing. Becoming atheist shouldn't change how well you're able to cope with difficulties, since being theist never actually helped you either - you just didn't worry about it as much.
• 

  Apognophos

  Ultimately I think that prayer and meditation work the same way. So if someone no longer feels that there's a god listening to their prayer, they might as well take up meditation. There you have various techniques and instructions to rely upon, that people have worked out over the years.
• 

  jgnat

  I wonder if meditation is a form of self-hypnotism. But I notice that the two disciplines barely talk to each other, and they use different terminology for what I suspect is the same activity.
• 

  frankiespeakin

  repetitive words, sounds, prayers('we thank you for this food jehovah you're so kind, in jesus name amen' 1000x oughta get the same results in brain wave patern synchronization)
• 

  MissFit

  Great point 1ijoe, Thanks, I never thought of it that way.

  Miss.Fit who is learning something new about herself every day.
• 

  LisaRose

  That's a good point OneeyedJoe. I have used a technique to make a decision, you imagine you are talking to someone you admire and who you think would give good advice, put yourself in their shoes and imagine what they would say. You are basically consulting yourself, but your best self.
• 

  OneEyedJoe

  Prayer vs meditation is an interesting topic.

  When someone prays, the brain scans seem to indicate similar activity to someone in conversation, while an atheist in mediation seems more like someone thinking intently. I'm not certain what the distinction is in practice, but it stands to reason that there is a significant psychological effect to earnestly believing that there's someone listening to your prayers. For me, the way to replicate prayer is meditation plus practicing trust in myself that whatever happens, it'll be OK. Once you let go and stop blaming yourself for things that are out of your control, you can find the same calm as a theist has when trusting that god is handling things for them. Sure, it takes a little more conscious effort than blind faith, but I think that the freedom of mind and intellectual honesty that comes from my atheism is worth the extra effort.
• 

  Phaedra

  I'm enjoying this conversation. Thanks for starting this thread, MissFit, as I have a lot of wonderings around this, too.

  Jgnat and LisaRose, do you address your prayers/meditations to anyone in specific? I'm curious how an atheist would handle that.

  I'm also wondering if my being raised JW with a codependant relationship with the organization makes me more desiring to seeking an external kind of connection with 'source' than within myself.

  It's connection I really seem to be wanting when I pray, eventhough nothing is there.

  Is there perhaps another word for 'connection' that might explain the desire?

  Always open to new perspectives.

  Phae

  P.S. Anyone know if there is a way to spellcheck my short posts from the tools selection before I hit submit?
• 

  LisaRose

  Phaedra, I pray to Jehovah, at least sometimes. I seem to be in the minority on that, many Ex JWs have an aversion to the name, and I understand that, but I don't really connect Jehovah so much to Jehovah's Witnesses, so for me it still has a positive connotation. I know it is not likely the correct name from the Hebrew bible, but then I don't actually believe in that God anyway, I just find myself praying, without having intended to. It's not logical, but when it comes to spiritual matters, logic doesn't necessarily enter into it, does it?

  Your wanting an external connection is probably just being human. Religion has been around for thousands of years, probably for various reasons, but a connection to something higher than ourselves is probably one of the main reasons, you are not wrong to seek that. You can say it's you seeking your best self, or seeking a connection to the divine, whatever fills that need or makes sense to you. That is my opinion, but what is important is how you feel. If you find comfort in putting your feelings in words by praying, why feel you must stop? Maybe you will pray to God for a certain amount of time, then move beyond that, maybe you will be happy to stay in that mode. It's your path to follow.

  For me, getting out and being in nature makes me fill spiritual, it gives me that connection. I look at a beautiful sunset, with the rays of the Sun coming through and all the beautiful colors. Weather you believe God created that, or it was the result of the big bang, it's just as beautiful, and for me, gives me a glimpse of the divine.
• 

  MissFit

  Lisa Rose: I still use Jehovah's name. I feel the same way. I think it is comforting to know some things are out of our hands.

  My prayers were mostly for strength and patience. I never expected god to make things happen in my life.

  One kind of prayer I do not utter anymore is the prayer for forgiveness and the list of all my short comings of the day.

  If I wronged someone I will be the first to apologize.