what do you say when a jw asks if you are back?

losingit

I thought I sent a goodbye message on FB to two jdubs that I used to hang out with. It sounded like goodbye to me, without saying goodbye. Here's what I wrote:

"If you ever want to get in contact with me for any reason, you know where I am at. I still would like to have our kids play together again and have you guys over for dinner at my new place. Up to you if that happens. Much love, Losingit"

Anyways, she writes back-- "are you back??"

I don't consider myself disfellowshipped anymore. So? What do I write back? LOL Funny predicament :-)

adamah

I'd ask her where you went?

Adam

jgnat

Back from where?

ShirleyW

"If you ever want to get in contact with me for any reason, you know where I am at. I still would like to have our kids play together again and have you guys over for dinner at my new place"

That doesn't sound like a REAL goodbye since generally speaking you're still allowing them into your life and I'm sure you know that the dyed in the wool JW who asked are you back meant are you back attending meetings., so I guess this Uber dubs kids won't be allowed to associate with yours.

Then you write YOU DON'T consider yourself Dfd anymore, but I bet they do. I mean seriously, think, just because you don't consider yourself DFd, what do you think the JWs think of you?

losingit

Here's my thing ShirleyW-- why do I need to play by their rules? Let them play by theirs. I was speaking as my genuine self when I wrote those words. The JW me used to hide from people when I saw them in public. It honestly was a goodby back then. I used to cry and weep over it. So, I decided to change my mentality. I said to myself, "I am no longer in time out. I am no longer disfellowshipped." With that, I became a happier person because I was free from the spiritual abuse. Now when I see a dub, I'm all smiles and greet them happily! I'm not changing me anymore. I like me.

I like your response, jgnat! And I think I'm going to add, "I'm not disfellowshipped anymore." With a big ol' smiley face. Let them do the investigating if they need to... Although, after talking to my man, I could be opening up another can of worms. Ahhhh these jws! Gotta love their sick twisted minds smh

OnTheWayOut

Your writing did sound like a perfect segway to "Are you back?" to a JW mindset.

Well, power to you but this will blow up in your face if you say "I'm not disfellowshipped anymore" and their kids play with yours.

Your words indicate to them that you have been reinstated. If you say ""I do not consider myself disfellowshipped anymore," you will see how cult controlled they are or not.

I agree you don't have to play by their rules, but your friends do play by those rules. You can't straddle a fence or play semantics with that. Be straight up, honest, and answer their questions. Or let them know you are not answering questions.

70wksfyrs

I think you should say I am if you want me to be.

Or even lie and say you are reinstated. They cant Df you again

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh how I wish I was where you are now. I cant wait until I am out. It will be so much fun.

70wksfyrs

OTWO- I disagree with the point that the friends are playing by the rules. They are so not!! They are still in fb contact, breaking the rules the whloe time. But thats my opinion and I respect yours as a valuable poster here helping us all release the bonds.

adamah

Lying is lyng, whether you're in the JWs, Mormons, Moonies, or not.

If you object to JWs on the basis of their perpetuation of doctrinal lies, you undermine your own credibility and that of other ex-JW members by living up to the stereotype painted by the GB of apostates as being willing to tell lies to harm "Jehovah's organization".

You cannot oppose lies by telling lies; in fact, the actual TRUTH is enough.

Adam

LisaRose

Are you actually disfellowshipped, according to the dubs? I f yes, then I would not lie about it, you know what she meant, I see no point in not owning up to it. If not, then sure.

If not, I would just say "I am not back, because I never left, I am still the same person, even if I am not attending the meetings right now"

what do you say when a jw asks if you are back?

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