what do you say when a jw asks if you are back? (page 2)

Dagney

"Back from where?"

"I'm right here"

For somebody you want to be tender (like a nice mom) with, "maybe soon." "not just yet."

RayPublisher

I've been asked that exact same question a couple times. As was mentioned, I basically said: (Brackets are so you can insert what you're comfortable with and applies to you)

"I never left [God] [Jehovah] [Jesus] and I never stopped being a good [Dad], [friend], [person], [wife], etc."

losingit

Just got back in from work. Will respond soon. Various points I want to address.

Oubliette

If you have quit attending meetings then you have "left" the organization. You know what they mean, so don't play their word games.

Just be straight up, I'm guessing you contacted them because you like them personally and are desirous of a relationship with them even though you no longer attend meetings at the KH.

Don't be surprised if they decline to keep company with you under the circumstances.

I think OTWO nailed it with: "I agree you don't have to play by their rules, but your friends do play by those rules."

One of the reasons why there is hesitation on my part is because I honestly meant that message as a goodbye. I didn't sit down to think how they might interpret it. If anything, I thought that they would ignore it! Really, most of the jws I deal with just *ignore* me any chance they get. You know, it's the whole shunning thing. I just wanted them to know that my door was open, if they cared at all. The question, "are you back??" completely caught me by surprise. So that's why I came on here....

By their rules, I am disfellowshipped. Even just typing those last 3 words made me feel ill. I AM NOT DISFELLOWSHIPPED! I remember telling my friends before the announcement that I still considered myself a Witness, that I still loved Jehovah, and that I never ever left him.

Since then, I have learned TTATT. Do I still consider myself a Witness? No. Do I still love Jehovah? I love God, our Creator. Jehovah, as Witnesses would have him be, he.... is not my God. Jehovah, as Witnesses would have him be, is an unloving, cruel god. I refuse to worship that god. And I will not.

I'm not at all concerned about whether or not I am propagating the negative image the WT imposes upon so-called "apostates." So that argument doesn't really win me over....

What did hit me, as far as the comments mentioned, is the question of being truthful to my friends. It hurts to be rejected, it really does. I had a really really rough September missing my friends, missing how life "used to be" and wishing I could go back to it all. I stepped away from FB so that I could figure out what I wanted to do. Seeing pictures of my friends in gatherings that I could no longer attend, reading posts of friends who shun me... it's hard to deal with. When I finally got on FB, I decided that I would begin the process of "unfriending" any JWs on my friends list. Another step towards moving on.

So, her response to my "goodbye".... It seemed like an opportunity to keep the friendship. But it requires lying. And I don't want to lie to my friends... even if they are shunning me.

I don't know what I am going to write yet. Probably something along these lines.... I still love God, and that I have not left Him. Am I back to the meetings? As a Witness? No, my heart could not bear being shunned by people I called my dear friends. Entering the KH just hurt me too much. I am still the same person, the same chick from XXXX that wants to do the right thing. If you want to hang out on those terms, that I would be more than happy. I suspect that you will choose not to. Just know that it was the shunning that caused me to leave the organization.

skeeter1

Back in Black.

losingit

skeeter1...hmmm? I'm not too great with expressions. I never know what they mean.

Oubliette

- losingit: It hurts to be rejected

Yeah it does!

You could always say, "How can I 'be back' when I never left?"

Truth is, that doesn't compute in their WT indoctrinated brains. For them, if the elders DF'd you, then YOU LEFT. There is no reasoning with a "still-in" JW on this point.

sd-7

If someone asks: "Are you back?"

You might say: "Perhaps you have the wrong number. Mr./Ms. Back does not live here."

--sd-7

problemaddict

I would start with "back from what?". Then after the inevitable back in the truth comment, I would simply say truth isn't something you can leave. It exists wether you realize it or not. So what do you mean?

Then so on and so forth until they give up or get the point. I also like ray publishers comment. I do that alot.

what do you say when a jw asks if you are back?

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