In the congregation I grew up in, there was a sister about ten years older than me. Her first name was Joanne.
More than once, when our family traveled, Joanne came along as a 'nanny' of sorts--so that my parents could enjoy each others company without their children present once in a while. (Priceless to parents, LOL)
And then on more than one occasion my parents traveled and Joanne stayed at the house with us.
As it happened, my brother was diagnosed with ADD and put on Ritalin. The medicine stayed in the highest cupboard of the kitchen--and of course Joanne was given instructions on its dosage etc.
My brother, a very active 5 or 6 yo (at the time) managed to climb the cabinets and get the medicine. (Totally unmonitored). He took the whole bottle. (It tasted like bubblegum, and this was before child-resistant caps.)
Well, that did it. He ended up in the hospital for 5 or 6 days, my parents had to rush home etc etc.
I don't remember Joanne sitting for us anymore, though I could be wrong. But, I also know that there was no hard feelings on my family's part toward her. My parents dismissed it as an 'accident.' (Now I know better.....I would hold ANYONE responsible who allowed my child to be harmed while in their care)
When I was about 14 Joanne got df'd for the first time.
She was reinstated and back in the good graces of the cong. We tried to associate, but she never had anything but snide remarks to make to my sister or myself. And I do mean RUDE. (But I was meek and mild-mannered, and I couldn't figure out why she didn't like me?!?!) Of course in retrospect, I was tall, slender and pretty as well as intelligent, and to some people we were thought of as 'wealthy.'
She was then df'd when I was about 18, if I remember correctly. She stopped attending meetings.
About a year later, I was df'd, and then as you all know, reinstated four months later. [8>]
Another year passed, and Joanne was reinstated (again). Time continued to pass. A brother whom Joanne likes, in fact loves *me* and would have married me at my say so. Joanne continues to make snide remarks, but I am learning how to stick up for myself.
One afternoon after work, my daughter who was 2 at the time, was with me in the local supermarket, Wegmans.
Joanne was 'in charge' of the video rental department. I was a supervisor at a local Health Insurance Claims office. I think this is important to the story, as you will calculate I'm around 21 and Joanne is around 31, and could be a part of the reason Joanne didn't like me.
There was a Disney video display, with some Disney plush characters sitting on top of it. My daughter asked if she could hold one of the stuffed animals and I told her yes, but that we would not be buying it. So she happily clutched the little thing in her arms.
We get to the register to rent our video, and Joanne *tells* me (not asks me) to put the Disney Plush back. I looked at her and asked why? She was certainly not abusing it, and for those of you who know me know I am clean and my children are BEYOND spotless. She said, "Why do you always have to make problems? You are a trouble maker."
Well, my time had come. I basically told her to $*#& herself in so many words. That she was a bitch and needed to mind her own business, and a few other choice remarks. I did not swear at all, but I quickly cut her down to size and unfortunately for her, this was in front of her 'subordinates' in the Video department.
They were amazed, because there was no reason for Joanne to demand that a customer put a toy back. (They don't know that she knows me). Especially because there was no sign saying "Display only. Do not touch." No, those toys were there to be bought.
I was so enraged when I left the supermarket.
That Sunday at the meeting I went up to her and said, "I want to talk to you."
So, to the back room we went. She had copped a big attitude and said, "Well I want to talk to you to." [8>](You can't fire me! I quit!)
I basically asked her WHAT THE FUCK is your problem with me? You haven't liked me for YEARS and what did I do to you?
She had no answer and all that came out of the meeting was that she would continue to dislike me, and in fact, had never really liked me anyway. I told her to avoid me from that day forward and if she saw me in the supermarket not to talk to me.
Yes, I was shunning her. She was df'd again a couple of years later, and I still don't give a rat's ass where she is.
The moral of this story??
Some people don't like you and they don't have to have a reason!
Yep. Good old fashioned personality conflicts. Now that I'm worldly, I don't give a crap who likes me or not. I don't seek everyone's approval like I did when I was a JW. Idiotic exhortations to "continue putting up with one another" can now go BLISSFULLY unheeded as I say,
"I don't really give a damn if you like me or not."
A bit of advice for you newbies on this board. [b]Keep true to your style and your words, and don't try to curry favor from anyone.
Some people will call you a racist, some will call you a bigot, some may even call you a bigoted racist. Maybe even I will.But don't sweat it. You don't need everyone's approval, Mommy's not around to make sure we play nice --and some people, like Joanne, will have decided not to like you right off the bat.
Lisa