Steve said-
LisaRose, well said. I find my reaction to this nicely moderating as the days go by. This is what I love about JWnet.
Why? I thought you and LisaRose had a valid point, but are acting somewhat reluctant to voice it.
Bonez said-
However the WTBTS carries most of the responsibility. When my mother and father DA'd they had been good dubbies for over 50 years...morally without reproach...my father an elder...an honorable person who was always asked to be accounts servant, one of the crappiest positions but he always obeyed Mother"...until the molestation scandal and the U.N. fiasco. He could not bear to go along with the borg anymore. So the WTBTS states from the podium and in the mags that these good people should be treated as fornicators, drunkards, idolators, etc. because they had the audacity to DA.
You seem to want to have your cake and eat it, too, saying how the WTBTS bears the ultimate responsibility, but then once it comes time to actually naming names and defining WHO constitutes the WTBTS, you want to excuse longtime JWs who are family members?
The problem is the organization is made up of people, AKA followers, and not just the eight men currently serving on the GB. If we start handing out amnesty cards to relatives, we're going to need ALOT of cards. Rather, EVERYONE who's ever been a member of the JWs deserves a share of the blame and moral culpability for shunning, and don't worry about there not being enough blame to go around, since when it comes to the damage caused by the group, there's sufficient quantities for 2nd servings.
As sweet as your mother is, and no matter how much the sight of an elderly women begging to see her granddaughter before she goes blind tugs at everyone's heart-strings, your mother WAS a JW member for 50 years (!) and is responsible for raising YOU in the Borg, and you in turn are responsible for allowing your daughter to be raised in the Borg.
If your mother EVER shunned anyone else as a member of JWs, she's now experiencing payback and being forced to sleep in a bed she made for 50 years(!). She knows full-well how the shunning game works: she can't play dumb, with the "I don't know why they are they doing this to me, those mean JWs?" It rings rather hallow, and smells like the blantant attempt to cause embarrassment and harm that you've openly admitted it to be.
While it's great that she finally used her God-given common sense (!) to extricate herself from that cult, it doesn't atone for past sins committed in the name of service TO the cult, where the road to Hell is paved with good intentions (but nevertheless, the road STILL goes to Hell). But to now expect for special exceptions to be granted to her?
Besides, were any posters on JWN actually awoken by such shaming attempts, forcing you to feeling guilty over shunning someone after having been publicly shamed like this?
Highly doubtful, since basic human empathy is easily overcome by self-rationalization (eg "I'm shunning them as a sign of my LUV for the person"), as well as only feeding into the notorious JW persecution complex. That's why the strategy is likely only to backfire: it's worn as a 'badge of courage', and interpreted as torment and persecution sustained in the name of her LUV for Jehovah. You all know that!
Instead, it's better to not try and hurt them back by shaming and embarrassing them, but considering the value of focusing on the self-inflicted HARM that individuals are only subjecting themselves to.
That will take individuals who have the courage to publicly apologize for having EVER shunned a DFed member of the JWs, in order to OWN UP TO IT, ADMIT to IT, and even to reach out privately and apologize to the person(s) (if possible); it would be nice for this women to take personal responsibility for the harm she caused, and not simply to continue to point fingers ("I don't know why the JWs are being mean to me?" playing naive act).
I'd be impressed by seeing a video of that, rather than another video of begging and pleading about 'how much it hurts' when you're subject to being shunned; that only reinforces that the shunning is having it's desired effect, and plays right into the cult mind-set by providing confirmation that shunning works.
As ex-JWs, we're in the unique position of being able to take a moral stance of standing up and saying to insiders, eg:
"I was a member for XX years, and even though deep-down I knew it was wrong, hurtful, and harmful to the person, I wrongly told myself (after hearing it from the platform) that shunning was actually the "loving thing to do" and in their best interests, so I went along with the practice. I now know it was wrong to use the power of a mob to control individuals, and I was a bully who found my courage by being a member of a mindless mob who engaged in it to "run with the herd" or risk being trampled myself."
I've written an article on the subject: