An honest report of the accomplishments of Jesus since 1914

by Terry 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Terry
    Terry

    Not much.

    He is directing the Watchtower Society to print magazines that contain errors.

    The goats he separated from the sheep have had to be put back in with the sheep because of policy changes.

    Stray sheep have been ostracized and turned into lamb stew.

    The war to end all wars (WWI) has been followed by WWII, Korea, Viet Nam, and the Cold one. (No need to mention the war on terror.)

    There have been earthquakes, famine, disease and a lot of marrying and eating at fine restaurants.

    1925 came and went without any Ancient Worthies moving in to the residence at Beth Sarim.

    The world got so dangerous in 1975 nobody noticed it.

    The generation that saw all the signs and wonders had been dropping dead like flies. So, the GB changed the countdown clock they had been advertising and pointing to since 1916. An overlapping patch was sewn on another failed false prediction.

    Brothers and Sisters who use to serve Jehovah and worship Jesus now know it is the Governing Body who calls the shots and Jesus is only "a" god with a widdle "g". At least Jesus got some kudos until 1954. He got demoted then, alas!

    The preaching work has been so successful that not one person in a hundred can give a coherent answer to what Jehovah's Witnesses actually believe.

    Hundreds of books printed by the Watchtower Society have begun with the stale Adam and Eve story and thousands of JW's have nodded off at meetings hearing it all for the umpteenth time. Sigh.

    The end has been "near" but, the answer "near to what?" needs shaping up a bit.

    Jesus use to be clean shaven, but, now has a beard like Christendom said he did. Is that advancement for the Society?

    The Superior Authorities use to be Jesus and Jehovah from 1929-1962, but, now they are the earthly governments just like Christendom said they were.

    Did Jesus fall asleep when he was supposed to send that memo to the "mouthpiece" in Brooklyn?

    All in all, as CEO of the hottest most wonderful government ever known to mankind, (albeit invisible) Jesus hasn't had a hit since WWI and is turning into the biggest disappointment since Milli Vanilli.

    Tsk tsk tsk.

    When the clock chimes 100 years reigning over mankind---WHAT THE HELL DIFFERENCE will it have made?

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    - "Jesus use to be clean shaven, but, now has a beard like Christendom said he did."

    But YOU still can't have one!

  • Terry
    Terry

    Wouldn't you love for somebody to say, "Who are you to tell me when and how to shave?"

    Read me the scripture, buddy!

  • braincleaned
    braincleaned

    "... turning into the biggest disappointment since Milli Vanilli."

    HAHAHAHA! Love it. Right on Terry!

  • Oubliette
  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    Note: Just to be clear, my previous post was my Report of Jesus' Accomplishments Since 1914.

    I have thoroughly and exhaustively researched the matter for over three decades and believe my evaluation to be comprehensive and complete in every respect.

    Thank you for your consideration.

    Oubliette

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    The lack of a Beatles reunion, including John Lennon and George Harrison, with a world telecast from NYC proves Jesus is not doing much. Also, my personal circumstances still do not permit me to have a puppy to love.

    Another great job, Terry.

  • Vanderhoven7
    Vanderhoven7

    Hope you don't mind that I adapted and posted this gem Terry

    http://forums.delphiforums.com/jesus7/messages?msg=34940.1&dbg=5

  • Terry
    Terry

    Happy to be of service!

  • yadda yadda 2
    yadda yadda 2

    The name of the little boy in the crowd pointing at the emperor's new clothes is Terry.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit