by excaliber 61 Replies latest jw friends
When I first came to this site under another name in 2003 I thought sometimes about going back. I guess there was a part of me that thought they still might be right.
After reading here over the last 10 years I know that it is not the truth.
What would be the point of going back?
It would just be a waste of time that could be used more positively and productively almost anywhere else.
Get a life. I don't mean that in a mean way. I mean GET A LIFE!!
Living a lie is not in your best interest.
Do you have some "worldly" friends or co-workers you admire? Talk to them. Take some vocational interest tests at your local community college to see what kind of career you'd be suited for. Join some clubs. Do some volunteer work.
There are infinite possibilities outside the Watchtower. Reach out for them, build a good life, and report back to us.
Welcome excaliber.
Whilst pursuing the full good news (or unabridged gospel) as outlined in Ray's book ISoCF, I have found myself going in an opposite direction to any/all religion.
I am happy with my faith and spirituality, which continues to grow. I'll never go back to (any) religion.
I understand how you feel and think. I am very similar to you in background. Lifer, served for years, married in, family in on bothsides, blah,blah,blah. I find for me, the best course of action is to remain in and do nothing. I go to meetings regularly, do field service, I am minimally social, the "friends" like me. However, I am not in the school, and I dont do anything but comment once in a while and chat a little bit after the meeting. I come to the KH, sit down and then get up and leave. There is no problem for me (maybe it would be for you or others but not me). I play it straight. No bad conduct, no secret sinning, no nothing, and I have no inclination to do anything that can result in being thrown out. The Elders want me to be involved (again), but when the subject comes up, I change it. I go to the CA, SAD, and DC for the days that I can or wish to and thats it. I avoid the CO and wife when they visit. So, I am in control of the things that I do, not the BOE or anyone else and it is a pretty comfortable place to be in- for me. I do sense that this lack of control drives the "coordinating elder" and another one or two of them nuts, but thats all the impact that I see. The formula is a simple one. Oh yes, I dont let things bother me. I dont care what the recent understanding of this and that is, why it changed, what J.F. Rutherford wrote about it in 1929 or any of that stuff. I focus on what I believe, why I do and thats it. If any of it isnt the Party Line I keep it to myself. I am good with that.
EXCALIBUR- Welcome to the board, nice to have you here. It's your decision on whether to go back or not- no one can make that decision for you- however- you won't be able to UNLEARN all the injustices or errant WT Society teachings and will basically have to live a silent deception within yourself without opening up to family or friends still inside the JW cult. Which will make it really tough on your mental and emotional well being in my opinion. I know I couldn't do it. The freedom of mind and freedom of movement I've had over 10 years out now has been fantastic.
Hopefully you can start developing non-Witness friends in your circle of friends who will show you unconditional friendship sincerely- not based on how many hours you get in field service. Remember- we are here for you as a support no matter what you decide or which way you go, O.K. ? Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Simon templar: I like your idea about just sitting there and doing the bare minimum. I just tell them I have to work, that gets me out of weekday meetings all together. They have talked to me about getting a different job but since im not married knowone knows when im lying because I just dont want to attend weekday meetings.
What do you believe now?
Who are the other ex bethelites here? I would love to contact some!!
Excaliber:
I was never in Bethel. My beliefs now are semi-complicated, so I will tell you in summary. Generally, I go along with the JW teachings on morals and values. No quarrels there. I dont know when the end will come (and neither does anyone else, per Jesus) and therefore dont really care when it comes. I just dont want to talk about it all the time, or act in fear because of it. I believe that preaching is a requirement of any christian (yes this means you too Catholics/Protestants), and that God is justified in expecting that of a professed believer. Preaching means directing people to God and Jesus as the Savior. I think that gathering together periodically to worship is good and a required activity. Periodically means what it does to you. I dont believe that any worship or associated activity should be forced or overly controlled. I am not sure that the CA, SAD, or the DC are necessary or people should feel compelled to attend. I Think that it is clear that the "Elder Arrangement" hasnt yielded the expected results, and that in practice it has more negative impact than positive. This needs to be changed. I think that people get too tweeked over the GB and the Branch-DO-CO stuff. That has to be expected when running an organization, and has little daily impact on the rank and file. I dont spend any mental energy on those things. I think that the Memorial is a requirement. I think that FS time and placements should not have to be reported monthly, but who really cares? It takes 5 minutes a month to report. I think the demonization of higher education is way off base. I think the weekly emphasis on Pioneering is too much and needs to be toned down. I think that the blood issue should be converted to a personal decision matter in the advent of medical technology advances. Thats about it for a summary.
Simon Templar, maybe you are a bit of a saint! Just a joke! You sound very sensible. I agree with you in some ways that the weekly pioneer praising is a bit much. As if you have to justify it if you do not pioneer. This caused enormous problems for my wife who pioneered for seven years which nearly wrecked her whole life. She is a very shy person and this really took everything out of her. She is now, after almost 40 years baptised, a physical and mental wreck. The pressure of pioneering , living up to unrealistic standards and feeling guilty about it all has made her into a hermit, almost, and now she is struggling to get to meetings. She finds the interaction, which is mostly loving and done out of concern from the bros and sis to be very difficult. She has a stronger faith than I do, and I am an elder! She really believes that it is all true, whereas I see the holes and the inconsistencies, the generation teaching , the mind control, the danger of voicing any dissent. We also avoid the CO and wife when they visit. We also have some very right-wing elders who have been drafted in recently to sort out some problems in the congegation. So they are company men with whom one dares not voice any doubts or variations from the party line. Interesting that you can just rise above the doctrinal and historic issues and simply carry on in your own way. I am also a cautious person who, if I ever did fade, would do it in a non-controversial way and never voice any doubts or contrary views. Not sure if I could continue to simply go along if I really did not believe any of it any more.
My current beliefs are that the bible is not the word of God, there are good things in it however. There are also things in the bible that can be harmful. I don't think the Jehovah's witnesses are led by any divine source.
However a church or hall could potentially do some good by encouraging people and helping individuals who want to lead a peaceful moral life.
I think we create our own reality by our thoughts decisions and actions. I think that inspiration can come from loving yourself and pursuing what is in your heart.
I think the family is very important and we should build strong families and that is where we should teach our morals to our kids. Telling them invisible people will destroy them at Armageddon is not necessary.
I think we can learn from and grow when we have hardships. We dont have to just say it happened cus Jehovah was angry or we didn't have his spirit etc...
Excaliber----I'll make you a deal.
Whenever you get the urge to return to the Kh, instead of going back to that god-forsaken hell-hole, just come by and see me and I will kick your ass and treat you abusively so you get than warm feeling of belonging, and you don't even have to waste your time at the meetings.
do we hve a deal?
brant
