Thoughts on going back, am I the only one that feels this way?

by excaliber 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • excaliber
    excaliber

    Un informed: how exactly would they mistreat me? Keep in mind I know its not the truth and I dont have to give talks and I can lie about service.

    Heck having me run loose in the kingdom hall would cause more problems for them then for me lol.

    And whats more, if your going to kick my ass and then treat me abusively, then im not coming over and you will just have to miss out on my company and warm fellowship. SO THERE!!!!!!

  • valkyrie
    valkyrie

    Excaliber - is deciding to make lying the cornerstone of your association with the congregation, one of the morals you plan to teach to your future children (if you marry a fellow JW, and raise your children in the religion)?

  • bafh
    bafh

    I have had thoughts of going back mostly because I miss having a community of people I've known my whole life. It is harder to make friends after you come out of such an isolating organization at an older age. I've been out for 5 years, and will be 42 on Friday. I'm just starting to build some friendships outside - I joined a board, go to meetups, network for my business. If I went back, none of that would change.

    What keeps me from going back is not being sure I can sit through a meeting. The ignorance, judgement and bashing that happens would require me to turn my brain into a pretzel every time I went - or to totally check out...

    the other thing is - I could not - in good conscious - go out in service and recruit someone to the organization. I guess I could just go to the door and read scriptures, which would be fine with me. I do think people find them comforting...

    How are others dealing with the social pressure? I'm feeling really lonely.

  • UN informed
    UN informed

    Excalibur,

    I hope you know I was funning with you. There is some truth in the abuse at the hall. I felt like I had a target on my back for years, and I was an elder.

    brant

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    excaliber, buddy, you really need to get a hobby. Is there truly no better use of your time than going back to the KH? You don't even seem to know why you'd be going back. I hope you are being honest with yourself about your feelings. Why sacrifice any time to an organization that doesn't need you? Just be your own person.

    Lord, I wish I was in your position, free and clear of the org. I am not quite ready to leave yet, but I'm never lacking in ten things that I want to be doing at any given moment while I watch irreplaceable hours go down the Watchtower drain every week. If you're not going to use your life, can I have it?

  • satinka
    satinka

    creativespirit, just think about the reasons you left in the first place. Feel the feelings of discomfort that made you leave. You inner being/conscience could not tolerate going anymore and led you out of there.

    Now, will you go against your own conscience --- which is truly spiritual, not religious --- to a belief system that your conscience is truly uncomfortable with? I figure you know too much to ever go back.

    just sayin'

    satinka

  • excaliber
    excaliber

    Un informed: I know you were just joking bro.

    The problem is that I was never very good at being anything else. I left because of hypocrisy and corruption, then I set out on a search for the true church or religion. What I found was that they were just as corrupt as watchtower.

    Im not the most ssocial guy in the world, so I get bored and wounder if It would be easier to go back for social reasons.

    I don't know if I even believe in God anymore, heck ive thought about joining the masons just to try something new.

  • creativespirit
    creativespirit

    Satinka, I think you missed my point.

    You are preaching to the choir.

    I am so far beyond it that I hardly even come HERE anymore! lol

  • 20yearfader
    20yearfader

    i was born in and believe me when i say this i'm never going back i hated the weekly meetings really really hated field service and i felt this way as a child cant imagine me trying to stomach all the bs that flies from the stage if i go back.

  • Simon Templar
    Simon Templar

    thedog1 I am genuinely sorry to hear about your wife. I am similar in nature to her. I was forced into a level of activity related to the Congo, which was beyond the limits of my personal structure and have been ill for almost 10 years as a result. I sympathize totally. Please send her my regards although we have never met. I have dealt with company men as you are now. It was difficult to say the least. Just smile and watch what you say and do, but I am sure that you do not need me to tell you that.

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