I have had thoughts of going back mostly because I miss having a community of people I've known my whole life. It is harder to make friends after you come out of such an isolating organization at an older age. I've been out for 5 years, and will be 42 on Friday. I'm just starting to build some friendships outside - I joined a board, go to meetups, network for my business. If I went back, none of that would change.
What keeps me from going back is not being sure I can sit through a meeting. The ignorance, judgement and bashing that happens would require me to turn my brain into a pretzel every time I went - or to totally check out...
the other thing is - I could not - in good conscious - go out in service and recruit someone to the organization. I guess I could just go to the door and read scriptures, which would be fine with me. I do think people find them comforting...
How are others dealing with the social pressure? I'm feeling really lonely.