Thanks Sam for those thoughts. Yes, I need to see how I feel as I go along. Maybe things would have been different for you if you had been reinstated. Do you think you could have put your doubts to the back of your mind if you had been back in the cong? Just wondering how you might have squared it all away. At the moment I am sort of compartmentalising everything into things I have to do in the congregation and the other stuff I learned here and found in the publications that I could not accept from the org.