Of course do what The Searcher has suggested to you first. I just assumed you already had that conversation since you were informed of the texts. I'd also confront the elders first and let them know that you are the head of household, you don't appreciate what they are doing and if they'd like to know what's going on in your house they can contact you. THEN if they continue maybe try my suggestion.
Elders and spying eyes
by Crazyguy 23 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
-
-
Iown Mylife
Well they think they are in charge of everybody so why would they need to bother going through the husband. That head of the house stuff is for shutting the wife down when she's trying to tell the elders that her husband is getting drunk and beating her, or worse. It is a criminal cult.
marina
-
EndofMysteries
Elders have no business texting a married woman. That's as bad as one meeting alone with one. (all according to JW terms). I'd report that to the CO like another person said.
-
troubled mind
The only reason Elders get away with this kind of crap is because enough people allow it it ,and don't stand up to them .
You first need to have an understanding with your wife as others have stated above . She should not share family business with these men about you . It is in their own publications that the husband is the head of the household ,even IF he is an unbeliever .They may use the excuse they are looking out for her spiritual interests ,but this is a lie because they could do that without interrogating her about you . You need to immediately contact them and forbid this kind of behavior . Call HQ if necessary stating these men are causing division within the household and are over-stepping the bounds with your wife .
Even if they argue that they are only sheparding her ,if you speak up and make it known to the CO,DO,or HQ they will be forced to watch their selves from here on out .
-
troubled mind
BTW ....it use to be said texting someone of the opposite sex that is not your own wife is paramount to dating ! Do you remember that from counsel to teenagers ? They absolutely should not be texting your wife !!
-
punkofnice
Troubledmind - I agree.
Crazyguy - Why not go to the elders and complain that the bro is busting a move on your woman. Cause a feckin stink!!
-
AlphaMan
Those elder baffoons know they should not be texting your wife.
A. Speak to your wife that this elder texting crap stops now.
B. Speak to those elders that they are not to text your wife.
C. Tell the CO to have them stop texting your wife, because you are the head of the house and that many affairs have started this way. He also knows it's wrong and it will embarrass them that he has to talk to them about it.
D. Write HQ and embarrass them all by getting Bethel involved.
-
Oubliette
CG: Texting her to see whats up with you and what your doing or saying etc. Using her as the in house spy???
This is completely wrong. Call them on usurping your headship. Tell the elders--I suggest in writing--that they are not to contact your wife directly. That any and all queries about you should be directly to you. And then ignore them.
-
NVR2L8
I am inactive but my wife is still in. I am sure the elders questioned her on the reasons why I suddenly stopped going. But knowing her she would have told them to ask me directly, something none of the elders had the guts to do. If my wife would have talked to them, I'm convinced they would haved used anything she said to corner me regardless of the effects this would have had on our marriage or family. Elders will use any means to out anyone who won't play according to their rules, regardless of the cost for others.
-
DesirousOfChange
Crazyguy - Why not go to the elders and complain that the bro is busting a move on your woman. Cause a feckin stink!!
I would def take an accusation to the CO or write to the WT Branch asking if private conversations & texts with your wife are proper. Some States have "alienation of affection" laws. Mention that to them.
If your state does, slap the ringleader with a lawsuit.
Doc