Epic FAIL! :( My sister is gone from me.

Faithful Witness

Got this email from my sister today. There is a lot of back story, and this isn't a surprise. It will be interesting to see how it affects the rest of the family, if they hear about it or not. If I tell anyone about it, I will be reprimanded.

I need to clarify that I was NEVER a JW, and I never agreed to follow their rules. I will not stop being kind to my sister or my niece and nephew.

The peacemaker in me will tread even lighter now. I'm afraid my mother will get pressure to join this movement against me. My kids will really be sad if Grandma makes this same decision.

I posted more about what led up to this in the Friends section ("I got my money back")

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/269058/1/I-got-my-money-back#.UsjwoTK9KSM

While I appreciate the thought, please do not send us gifts.

Our kids are not missing out on anything other than things we try to protect them from.

At this time, based on prior encounters and their affect on me emotionally, I think it would be best if we didn't communicate.

I hope you can understand my decision and the fact that it is not meant to offend anyone.

Sent from my Kyocera Hydro

tec

I need to clarify that I was NEVER a JW, and I never agreed to follow their rules. I will not stop being kind to my sister or my niece and nephew.

Good for you!

I am sorry that your sister has cut you off.

Peace to you,

tammy

crazy2try

So sorry this has happened to you. I grew up as a witness, never receiving gifts for birthdays or holidays from my relatives. My parents would have done the same thing. My parents moved away from a lot of our family as well. But I do recall, that when we did get together,(every few years) my aunts or grandma always had unwrapped gifts for us. There was usually only one, but it meant a lot. They would give them to us, very casually. I knew it was because of our religion. And I knew that if they tried to give us more, then my parents would have not permitted it.

Sounds like your sister is completely stopping contact. But if you wish (in the future) to try to keep something going between all of you, consider sending a generic card to say hello with a little bit of money for the kids to spend however they want. Avoid birthdays and holidays. My heart goes out to you.

ABibleStudent

Hi Faithful Witness, Why not write back, "I was never a JW, so why don't you want to communicate with me? You and family are more important to me than an Org."

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

Listener

I've followed your story a little, particularly regarding the presents. You may already know how you are emotionally affecting her, if you don't then you could write to her and ask her to explain. That way you may be able to discuss these issues to try and solve them, if you are so inclined.

OnTheWayOut

Along with comments from Crazy2Try (and great comments on the linked previous thread) I would say you might want to download Steve Hassan's latest book called FREEDOM OF MIND from freedomofmind.com to learn about reaching loved ones who are in a cult. With JW's, its a long process. I don't know if it would help, but I might try honesty in your situation; "We tried not to hurt your feelings last year then tried again a different way this year after that didn't work. I would be glad to send gifts at any time for no connected reasons besides love and caring."

Beyond that, I admire your efforts.

whatif

Sorry to hear your sister has cut you off. Only you and her can know why this has affected her so emotionally to resort to that when it just doesn't make sense at least to me. I truly hope the situation can resolve itself with a happy outcome for both of you. So sad when this happens...wish you all the best through this trying time.

@crazy2try: You say that if your relatives had tried to give more gifts you knew your parents would not have permitted them. I don't understand why the gifts had to be given casually and unwrapped and why you feel your parents would not have let them give you more. JW's don't have anything against giving or receiving gifts, whether wrapped or unwrapped, as a surprise or not, and for any occasion other than a holiday they don't celebrate and to and from anyone - JW or not. I can understand your being hurt if your parents did that but they made up their own rules for that. There are no JW rules on gift giving. It's only the holidays they don't celebrate.

quellycatface

Hi FW. Happy New Year.

So sorry to hear your news. I would agree with the other guys about writing to her and asking why she has come to this decision. Continue to be loving and approachable to bring shame on this destructive religion.

Take care, QCF x

jgnat

Regardless of the intent, cutting you off is offensive and hurtful. I would mention that to her. Ask her to put herself in your shoes for a moment. That will temporarily break through the programming.

snare&racket

Send them before or after, send then another time of the year. Send them letters, just be a nice uncle. They will remember.

Epic FAIL! :( My sister is gone from me.

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