Non JW girl with a JW guy (page 2)

JustMe2

I strongly agree with ruderedhead's advice to consider seeking professional help. Also, a physician may be able to help with your migraines, weight loss, etc. Journal writing can be a great way to relieve painful feelings and sort out your thoughts. And, of course, you can always find a sympathetic ear here. But please do seriously consider talking to a professional. It may help you get a better perspective on your situation, deal with the emotions you're experiencing, and gain the strength you need to cope. You CAN find the strength to get through this, even though it doesn't seem so at the time. Take care, and I hope you're soon feeling better.

mistified

see "The Prodigal Returns".

St George of England

I have been a JW all of my life and I am now heading up to 70 years old, I have said this before, I will say it again:-

RUN LIKE HELL!

You will meet someone else one day who will not try to control every minute aspect of your life and relationship with his religious cult beliefs. Concentrate on your studies and gain all the qualifications you can, you need to be able to live an independent life without reliance on anyone.

All the best

George

nonjwspouse

You have learned a VERY important truth about your boyfriend. The Watchtower will ALWAYS come before you with him.

You need to REALLY think about that one and like others I am sure have suggested ( This was too painful for me to read all the posts here) Please, get on with your life. You WILL find another man who will love you for you and respect you for you and believe me, you will be much happier without the third person in the marriage, the Watchtower rules and iron fist.

LisaRose

Run, not walk away from this. It hurts now, but if you stay you are signing on to a life of this chaos. Imagine what would happen when you had children and he insists they not celebrate Christmas or the birthdays. Imagine him taking them out knocking on doors and having to sit quietly in four hours of adult meeting every week. Your beliefs will always be discounted, Jehovah's Witnesses are well conditioned to despise other religions and look down on others who are not JW. He will think that you will be destroyed at Armageddon, which is coming soon. He will always feel guilty for not marrying another JW, other JWs will look down on him because of it. The pressure to convert will not stop. Is this what you want? It's time to move on a find a great guy that isn't in a cult, they are out there, you just have to keep looking.

jgnat

See a school counsellor about your depression. You don't want to jeopardize your studies.

For migraines and fainting, make sure you are eating, drinking, and sleeping regularly.

What you have is an obsession over something that used to be love. A mature love would recognize that you cannot control another human being. Set him free to his folly and survive.

skeeter1

I second jgnat's recommendation to see a school counselor about your depression and getting help to deal with this present issue.

As a former JW, I can tell you that JWs date non-JWs. But, the catch is that they have to convert them to JW in order to get married in the Kingdom Hall. There are alot of sermons (i.e. "talks") made at various JW meetings about the spiritual perils of not marrying a JW. The two would be unevenly yoked. You see, JWs strongly believe that their religion is the only good religion on this planet that is blessed by God. They think that God has/will curse/kill all others (and all non-JWs) at Armegheddon. Simply put, God will kill a non JW wife & non JW kids at Armegheddon. They will be dead forever. It is not "rational" for a JW to get invovled with a non-JW. But, JWs do do alot of preaching and trying to convert. That's basically supposed to be their sole interaction wtih non-JW people

As far as college, JWs don't really tout college. It is lightly discouraged in their publications and open, Sunday meetings. But, when you go to a more hard-core convention (say, a Friday or Saturday session that the public usually doesn't attend), you will see how much college is discouraged. It's discouraged, officially, because a college education is worthless since God is going to soon destroy this world. What good is a profession? . . . has been the question for about 100 years. So, even if you got married to him and had kids, he sounds like he is against college. He wouldn't want his kids to go to college, and he probably isn't going to be "supportive" of any of their non-JW aspirations. This ranges to holiday celebrations, sports teams, honor societies, school clubs, debate teams, birthday parties, Boy/Girl Scouts, etc. All are off the list for children of JWs. And, since he will, technically, be the head of the household, he could get emotionally (and alot of JW men are physically violent) with you if you don't obey and allow the kids to join in such Satan inspired events.

Now, if he can get your/his kids to join him in the JWism life, he will probably get them to write you letters begging 'mom' to come to the "Truth" becuase the kids don't want to see her die at Armegheddon.....

Your life wasn't crazy before he came into it. He (and his religion) are the common denominator.

I think what you probably liked about this guy is that he was a spiritual person. That doesn't mean that there are not other guys out there that are spiritual. And, I bet you can find one that doesn't belong to a radical, doomsday cult. Go to one of those mega churches. They probably have a singles night, where young folk can mingle together. Get back out there. And, get to a school counselor.

Skeeter

NAVYTOWN

See a therapist or school counselor. He didn't 'ruin your life' as much as he was just being a typical JW. The religion comes first. He would only cause you MUCH GREATER heartache in the future. You WILL find another close friendship/relationship, but give it time to sort things out for yourself. Personally, to me he sounds like a first-class jerk, JW or not. You deserve much better!!! Please take a break from obsessing over him......focus on YOUR needs and get help in sorting out your true feelings about what you want in a future relationship.

Fernando

Welcome Accio.

Maybe one day you will be able to look back and see he has actually spared you much wasted time and pain which are an unavoidable part of this cult where parents reject their own children if they choose to leave the cult.

That having been said, it is natural to grieve over lost love.

mariu

You've been given great advice here, particularly the part about seeking help with a counselor or a therapist in person. It makes a huge difference compared to writing back and forth on the Internet.

And of course the part about RUNNING away. Seriously. People here have a lot of experience not just with "normal" life issues such as a broken heart over a lost love (or infatuation...), but also with exactly this situation with the JWs. You're asking for a lot of pain if you keep clinging to this person because you'll never be his top priority in life.

You really need to look after yourself. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. You don't need another person to "fix" you (that doesn't work anyway).

Non JW girl with a JW guy

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