Non JW girl with a JW guy (page 3)

Accio

Hello !

Thank you for your support and all your advice. It's really nice to see so many people helping me.

Well I followed some advice. I kinda stopped talking to my "friend" because we are both busy and he has a lot of problr

Ems lately. I miss him to be honest. I still have very very strong feelings for him and sometimes I just cry because I need him by my side. At the same I feel better. I started an internship one month ago and I met an awesome guy there. I appreciate him a lot and he helps me healing. We have sooo many things in common ! it's just awesome ! And he is very attractive. Sadly I don't think he likes me that way. I mean I'd be really happy with him ina relationship. But I don't think he likes me that way. I don't even think he'd like to be my friend and I don't thinl he will wanna keep talking with me after the internship. And it finish in 2 weeks... the problem is that I'm very shy and I know he is shy too. I read a lot on Internet and I can say he shows signs that could mean he likes me but he also shows signs he doesn't. I don't know how to explain this... but I'm really attracted by this guy and we have a lot in common. I love his personality and we laugh a lot.

So if you have advice for me I'd be very happy ! That's the first time I feel that way for a guy (except my "friend") and after what happened to me all I wish is love and happiness. I don't wanna have my poor lil heart broken again. I know if he doesn't like me my heart will be broken... but I need advice to fight being shy, show him I like him or which signs mean he likes me too. Thank you !

nonjwspouse

There are so so so many men out there, so many fish in your sea! You have rebounded, back into a relationship where you don't get here you stand, but feel like you can't be without him. Very unhealthy and you wind up not solving any problems you are having.

Please, please seek therapy and no more boyfriends for a while as you work this out in yourself. You are worth so much. Don't keep handing over your "heart" like that!

Accio

Thank you for your nice advice ! But I know I need a lot of love right now. I need to feel protected and loved. And this guy I met is really awesome. First he isn't a JW like my "friend" and he is different in personality and physical. I just wish I could at least be friend with him. I read once that if you have feelings for 2 persons at the same time then let down the first one cuz if you really loved this one you'd never have feelings for someone else. And it's true. Because this guy I met makes me smile and laugh and forget. Things I never felt with anyone else following my "friend" breaking up. I think I'm read to start something new. My "friend" broke up with me more than 4 months ago. So I think I have the right to like someone else. Sadly As I said I don't think this guy likes me tjat way. He shows signs of interest and also signs he isn't :(

ABibleStudent

Accio - I know if he doesn't like me my heart will be broken... but I need advice to fight being shy, show him I like him or which signs mean he likes me too. Thank you !

Hi Accio, Practise, practise, practise being outgoing and projecting confidence. Most guys like women who smile, are positive, are fun to be around, ask guys questions as well as talk about themselves, and project confidence about themselves. Look around at women who you know who are popular and try to figure out what you would feel comfortable changing in your behavior/appearance.

A simple way to find out if this guy likes you, is to occasionally lightly touch him from his hand to his elbow momentarily when he says something funny or something that you like. If you do this several times in an encounter and he does not touch you back or draws away from you, you know that he is not interested in you.

Use the time that you have with this guy to get a better idea what you want in a BF or future husband. The better vision that you have of what you want in life: the better choices that you will make in the future.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

Elijehovah

Well look how many people are married before ever becoming a JW. They are unevenly yoked, so it is claimed. BUT truth is that many religously divided marriages do not make religion an issue. There are many who do not celebrate Christmas, make no issue of it, but it doesn bring the other to that kingdom hall. nor does it baptize or convert the other person. Face it, there are JWs married to JWs who are unevenly yoked because both think they worship Jehovah and that the mate doesnt worship right. Then they get elders into it and destroy their marriage. Back in 1981 i met a Mormon in Utah and she went head over heels just because we danced great one night together at their disco. Took like 6 weeks and i got a dear John, mormons marry mormons card. It was so puking pathetic in words, none of them like her previous letters and cards.

The truth is most elders were baptized after marriage in the world. And when the glorious both-baptized marriage ends becuase the mate dies, they dont like anyone at the hall and leave to screw their heads off (_ss off) and come back married, or DFd. All this from a couple who always dissed anyone dating anyone. Whose better, whose worse. Not to mention the narking to get the guy you want by telling elders he's been seen with your competition you wish to push-out so that you have him to yourself. The games are plenty. Who wants them when they are the same games as in the world and reality TV.

nonjwspouse

Accio, love yourself. If you can't do that, you cant love someone else properly.

YOU need to feel strong and know you can protect YOURSELF. You are not helless, but if you feel that way you will allow yourself to BE helpless.

Take charge! Then,... in the future after you have discovered how to love yourself, take charge, and protect yourself you WILL find a great guy. You will be very emotionally attractive to a good man.

finally awake

Accio, you sound like you are still quite young. When I was in my teens, I was desperate to settle down with someone who would love me forever. Sadly, there aren't many people who are ready for lifelong committment at that age. I suffered through several painful breakups and endured some relationships that just made me miserable. Eventually I met the man who is my husband, and it all worked out. My advice for you is to work on enjoying the relationships you have without agonizing about where it's going or what it all means. And RUN far away from anyone associated with the JWs.

Badfish

He is in a cult and he was breaking the cult rules by talking to you. The only way you will really be able to be with him is if he leaves the cult. The rules of the cult is that you are only allowed to date other members of the cult.

So if I were you, I'd find a normal guy instead.

Frazzled UBM

Accio - I agree with all the advice you have been given so far. He used you - fancy waiting 5 months to tell you such an important fact about himself and then putting pressure on you to learn about (i.e. adopt) his religion and then jumping to the next girl so quickly after dumping you. He had no respect for you whatsoever, which is how Witnesses are taught to think about 'wordly people'. I am married to a Witness and I can tell you it is very hard when your loved one has more loyalty to a bunch of self-important lying old men in NYC than you. Also they teach that men are basically more important than women and women must obey men. You are so much better to have him out of your life. As others have said you will get over this pain - it is much better than the pain you would have for the rest of your life if you had married this guy. You will find someone esle who you can really trust. Take care, Fraz

Accio

Hi.

Thank you for all your advice. It really means a lot to me.

Well I'm not a kid anymore. I'm 20. And like most of people around that age I'm kinda lost woth feelings, school, work.

. I know most of you think it's wrong I still love my JW "friend" but I can't change that

. We stopped talking for like 3 weeks but I love him. For who he is. Sadly now talking with him is just arguing... but I need to hear about him. I wish he could wake up one dayand open his eyes and realize I'm the best for him even if we don't have the same religion. It's very hard for me. I mean we brike up in October and I still feel depressed. And I already tried several ways to heal and help. It seems nothing work...

As I said the only one positive thing that happened to me is meeting this guy during my internship. He makes me laugh and smile. Sadly my internship finish in one week and I don't think he is attracted to me... and I'm a very shy girl so I'm afraid asking his phone number or telling him nice things. Cuz I'm scared of being rejected. And also maybe I'm wrong but I feel like I sound selfish when I talk with him like talking about myself and not asking him when is his birthday or if he has brothers and sisters. But he doesn't ask me that either. So I think he isn't interested. I know in one week my heart will probably be broken again...

I'm just not a pretty girl and attractive guys aren't attracted and it suck.. like this guy cuz we have a lot in common... I really wanna move on but I know I could move on when I will find a boyfriend to help me healing.

Non JW girl with a JW guy

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