Perry. I admire your faith. When I left the WBT$ I went to church and found it really uplifting. Times change and I did too.
PofN,
You seem like a nice person, and I too admire your attempt to check out the other side when you left the WT. I did the same thing. I found a nice established old-line Protestant High Church kind of church to start atttending. And, I didn't get saved there. I joined the singles group and led the Sunday School many times. But, I stiil didn't have a clue as how to get right with God and experience his power and presence.
About this time I gave up trying to live two lives and let my parents know that I was a traditional Christian. (even though I had no idea how to get saved) This sealed the near total shunning from them and others. I needed PEACE badly. I needed God to take away my anger at the WT and others.
It was a combination of the severe pain of the shunning and the emptiness displayed by many of the posters on this very discussion board that drove me to my knees to ask Jesus to save me, all of me. That's what makes this DB so special; the faces come off and you can really see how different world-views effect people - How they interpret things.
What Jeus is asking us to do is to totally abandon ourself to him. He is not interested at all in our efforts to be good enough for salvation. He knows that we can't on our own. He says if we will just believe him, he will do the rest, all the heavy lifting, all the work. He says he will get in the yoke with us and the burden would be easy and the load light.
I finally did this and finally experienced everything that he promised in the NT. (I lost a family, God gave me a church family, and at age 40, a wife that produced for me two children, and a distant relatives' family. I lost one, and got three in return from the lord.) It wasn't easy, because I had given my near-all to the WT and got burned. But, I new enough scripture to know that my WT experience had little to do with Jesus. It was a bitter pill to swallow - knowing that all my years as a Christian, wasn't as a Christian. But, I did it right, one last time - permanently.
My views changed as a result. If I see a star cluster, I thank God for it. If it looks like a bleeding hand, I see Jesus. If I get a golden contract in my business, I thank God for it. If my new RV gets stolen (like it did two weeks ago) I remember that the enemy comes only to steal, rob & destroy. When I see beauty in my wife and kids, I praise God for his grace. But most of all, I thank God for his presence inside me, which he promises to ALL Christians who abandon themselves to him. I can NEVER be lonely again, no matter how many loved ones shun me. Anyway, that's my story.