I don't love my family (page 2)

KateWild

Thank you for expressing your feelings in this way. I love my kids and I know they love me, my eldest is an adult know and there is a real family loving bond. I love my parents and I know they love me, we have the sam bond. It's a shame you don't have this, yes it is very sadenning indeed. My thoughts are with you. Kate xx

galaxie

Hi noontide I relate to your situation also. For me I feel no love whatsoever for my jw father although I do "feel" love for the rest of my jw family is when I think of my father in terms of feeling there is nothing there. I put this down to his inability to love that is he has never shown proper love but always as a sense of duty usually when other people are around. This may come across as unusual to some but my brother who is an elder has the same feeling about it as me . while in conversation about it many years ago his wife's jaw almost hit the table when he let known his feelings about it! Currently my father has shunned me from his home where my jw mom now in her 80s has dementia and other health problems. She cherished my visits and the rest of my jw family have no problem with me visiting my mom inc' my brother the elder work that one out? So I conclude him shunning me is more to do with his inability to love , even the elders in his congregation don't agree with him . It just goes to show how this whacked out religion affects peoples minds . For anyone reading this who is still associated with this mob steer well clear if you want to retain your sanity!!

jemba

I would love to get to this point, it would hurt much less when they do yet another shitty thing to us. Maybe many of us will eventually be able to achieve this point of concerned and friendly relationship with detachment as Hortensia mentioned.

Dis-Member

I think there can be hope in situations like this. Do like Job and start an entirely new family..

cantleave

I can relate, I have no love for my mother.

noontide

Thank you for your replies, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. It does stink though.

What really solidified my feelings (or lack thereof) regarding my family was the day my mother passed away. It was a tragic day and it hurt to see her suffer and die, but I could not bring myself to tell her I loved her. There I sat next to her on her death bed, and I wanted so much to tell her I loved her and I couldn't do it. Even forming the words in my mind made me feel like a hypocryte. I thought there was something tragically wrong with me.

I care for my family, but that's as close to love as I'll ever get with them. Sad.

Dis-Member

Noontide you have a PM.

GoneAwol

Great post Noontide. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I am getting sick and tired of trying to find my 'real' mum, the person she should be. I cant even remember the last time she hugged me. Even if she did, it would feel so very awkward. I can say I dont love mine either. Wow.

Gypsy Sam

I think it took a lot of courage to write this and face how you feel. I've recently begun to feel a huge distance with my family as we have faded. There is that exact "don't ask, don't tell" edict hovering over any time I spend with them. It is just so awkward as they don't ask a single question anymore. My thoughts are with you. Hopefully, you have A circle of close and meaningful relationships.

nugget

It is little wonder that you have difficulty loving your family, the Watchtower gives us conditional parents and conditional friends. We never know the simple security of unconditional love from our parents. When you make affection conditional on belief and are taught that people can be unworthy of attention and can be cut out from life for minor religious infringements it is a form of protection to reserve love for those that will not withold it based on instructions from outside the relationship. We have a right to be loved for who we are not what we believe, we are a person not a component of a religion,

It is hard to love people who delegate their life choices to an invisible third party. Sadly we were not raised in a family but in an organisation.

I don't love my family

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