I don't love my family

by noontide 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    When I read about the average persons view on physical smacking of children I am amazed at how backward the JW family life is. Such physical attacks build distance and contempt, they deaden natural affections and introduce fear and resentment. If you smacked an adult you would go to jail, I have never seen a parent smack a child calmly with the motive to teach, it has always been in frustration and a matter of revenge.

    Smacking children is endemic to the JW's as is the threat of being removed from the home if you dont live by JW rules. You can have a fantastically good child, but if he doesnt want to go door to door or if he dare fancy a girl or if she dare wear makeup...its threats of being homeless and possibly violence. The worst of it is seiing rules you see your parents and elders break all the time, whether it be being drunk, bring crass, gossiping etc, the JW world is very unjust, your authority, sex and family connections dictate your ability to escape punishment. The contemplation of worth and value to your parents being second to this sham belief system has an effect.

    No christmas, no birthdays, dragging to meetings, ministry, endless UNPAID LABOUR by children, it is unforgivable. I love my own time, when I was a kid, I wanted to do my own thing, be it reading books, tinkering with my bike or a computer or my guitar. I was content with myself, but that time was taken, ministry came first. Children in normal society have a weekend. JW kids don't even get that respite. 8am every saturday, get up for ministry, 8am every sunday, get up for meetings! That time is gone, we wont EVER get it back and it does cause frustration and anger.

    This all contributes to less than natural feelings for your parents.

    By the way, if you smack your child and leave a mark, it is 7 years in jail in the uk. Wales is trying to introduce a no smack rule as some parents think they are allowed to smack, but in reality the rules say for infants, a small smack to teach them to avoid dangers may be used, but the government, doctors, health workers are concerned that people think they have a pass to smack kids.

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    I had nothing but terror for my father. He would quote me scripture about respect. I would yell back it must be earned. My otherwise saintly mom was an enabler of the religion. She would cry when we were forbidden to do things. It brought back painful memories of her years, esp. her expulsion from school. Strangely, my zealot JW aunt showed up on our door one day. My zealot uncle accompanied her. It was a private adult conversation. This was unusual. My aunt had a midlife depression. She begged my mom to make certain that I went to school dances. I passed out when I heard the details. People can be surprising. Both of them realized how their lives were restricted by the Witnesses. Neither one could make business calls. They wanted a better life for their nieces and nephews.

    It was hard having family conversations b/c all they could talk about was the Witnesses. My nuclear family wasn't biting. They were not preaching to us. Their world view was so constrained. My mom did seem to enjoy hearing all the gossip my aunt learned about family friends at conventions.

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