Loyalty to Org Over Everything Else

by startingover13 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  BluesBrother

  I have to agree with the other posters here, it really does seem that she is committed to returning and being reinstated. The fact is that any reinstatement committee would, if you are not seen to be working towards it too, ask her to confirm that the relationship was not still ongoing. If she were dating a d/f'd man, there would be no reinstatement.

  If her goals are really pioneering and a family life within the Borg... then that is incompatible with an independant thinker. At best you wou would have to fake it to her and the cong...and that is a recipe for her disappointment later.....
• 

  clarity

  Startingover13 .......you are very wise my friend,

  a little distance....some fresh air to clear your head

  will give you the space & time to just watch how the

  relationship will change .....

  *

  "The sad thing is that I feel pressure to write mine because she's flat out told me that she loves me, but she will have to stop speaking to me until I'm reinstated."

  *

  To cave in to this will be a big mistake!!!!

  *

  Take your time ....keep exploring.

  clarity
• 

  jgnat

  I vote for continued exploration of your spirituality. Sadly, I think that means without your girlfriend.
• 

  Finkelstein

  "The sad thing is that I feel pressure to write mine because she's flat out told me that she loves me, but she will have to stop speaking to me until I'm reinstated."

  Sonds to me thats she's using blackmail to force you to reinstate, its the WTS. and me or nothing else.

  She also sounds like she is being presured emtionaly because she doesn't want a non-beleaving spouse making her alone and single at Kingdom Halls and Asemblies.

  .

  This is nothing unusual of course because the WTS. indoctrinates its followers to have and keep a

  relationship with Jehovah first and foremost, above marriage partners or family.
• 

  problemaddict

  Starting over.....I don't know how old you are or where you are at with your life. That being said, I once thought divorce might be inevitable even though I love my wife, simply because of the fights over religion. How it worked out is quite different. I began to not argue with her. Just to ask questions, and sincerely tell her how and why I felt things. Basically, I let her see the anguish it gave me to question my faith (and I put some extras on it).

  She eventually began to explain why she REALLY felt so defensive. At this point because of my fade, she began to be treated differently. She now has her own fade in tow, and the challenges that go with it. All of this started because we both REALLY loved each other more than anything else. On top of that, she TRUSTED me and knew that i would not leave her if she left being a JW, so why would she?

  Alot of it comes to that. If you really love her, then give her some space, go about it more methodically, and ask her to really sit down and discuss difficult things with you so that you can know where each other stands, and talk as adults reasonably.

  Then give it a go. If you love her its worth a shot. If she can't break from it mentally, then its best you move on now....rip the band-aid off.