Help! I have fallen in love with a Witness

by itsalingthing 33 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Introspection

  Itsalingthing,

  Remember, that all of the ex-JW that responded, were once not ex. You were right there with him and held the same beliefs. Something, or someone, gave you the courage to leave. Maybe I am that for him.

  I would view this in a slightly different way. I don't think anyone can give you courage or a reason for anything, but rather you may be the reason FOR THEM. That means it goes back to them, if they think that's the case. It's not exactly this way for everyone, either. In my case it was DIScouragement, but that's another story.

  joining will have to be MY decision, and MINE alone.

  Good for you. And this is exactly what I'm talking about - leaving would have to be his decision, if he decides to leave. But that is really secondary.

  The one simple question you have to ask is what you each want out of the relationship, isn't it? If someone profess to believe one thing and yet behaves in another way, that should give you reason to pause and consider just what he really wants. It may be that he himself doesn't even know yet. Of course, this doesn't mean he's a bad person, but just how do you build a relationship if one of you don't know what he wants?
• 

  LDH

  I would say "wish me luck" but, well, you know. :)

  HMMMMM..... how would you know what we know?

  Lisa
• 

  itsalingthing

  I agree with all of you, in that I will proceed with extreme caution. The main reason for the initial post on this board was to get a different perspective on the situation. It's hard to get advice on a subject that involves things that are over your friends capabilities of understanding. I don't know where this relationship will lead and that is okay for now. If things become more serious for the two of us, we have serious discussions in our future. I hadn't even given thought to the idea of raising children together in a home divided over religion. So thank you to all of you for your advice and introspective into a situation that most people can't get their brain around.
• 

  gypsyqueen

  YOU ARE ME 10 YEARS AGO!!!!! Don't do it. Fall in love with someone ELSE!! He will eventually accuse you of 'strong arming' him into marriage or blackmailing him when it becomes known that he has been seeing you. JW's are taught that marrying an unbeliever is TREACHERY! I know. I bacame a Witness to marry my husband. NOW IT's OVER and he told the brothers that I blackmailed into marrying me or else I would 'tell on him'. Believe me, the Chase is better than the catch. Don't be fooled. You will marry the whole body of elders and they WILL be in your bedroom if you marry him. If you go any further and pressure him more, until he slips up bad and 'does' you, he may just do it a few times and then drop you like a hot potatoe and then go whining to the Elders. But at least he'll get his rocks off. YOU CAN'T WIN!!!