HELP - A Guide to Fade (page 2)

KateWild

One poster on here became an incompetent MS. He started to always be late and make lots of mistakes. He told them he was having some difficulties and had taken the matter to Jehovah.....they finally suggested he step down

Kate xx

nicolaou

if I can win my wife , that's all I care, I don't mind us both going with a BANG....but if she is stuck in, then fade is the way to go ..I really love her and just cant afford to lose here

100% the right attitude. Have you told her how you feel?

blondie

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/34518/on-art-fading

expatbrit developed this. Not the beall or endall but start.

cognitivedizzy

@Katewild .. I'm pretty sure they view me as a incompetent MS anyway :) , I cant give away too many details to preserve my identity, but many things happening around me in the cong suggests that I am weak MS with great potential lol :P

@nic .... I havent told her anything , She is pretty upset the way the borg has moved in the last few years.. if i sense more doubts from her, I will share :), she is very understanding and kind, and I am very sure she loves me more than the borg, I just need the right window

TheListener

I think it is important to slow your activities as an ms before just quitting. Same for meeting pets. Miss one or two or get someone to fill in a few times at the last minute so they get the idea that you are struggling. Then after awhile you can tell them you would like to reduce your duties to deal with your personal issues.

The deal with fading is that it takes time. Its not for everybody because to truly try to keep the relationships you have made you need to go slow.

Londo111

It tempting to go out with a bang, but usually people seem to regret their course in the long run and wish they had faded. Of course, since your wife is not awake, the following might not be an option for you.

If possible:

(1) move to another congregation, preferably in a neighboring circuit. The fewer people there that know you, the better. The busier the congregation, the better.

(2) Attend the new congregation once a week until your records arrive. Make few acquaintances, be as forgettable as possible. Take your seat a few minutes before the song, leave as soon as Amen is said.

(3) When your records arrive, quit attending…or taper off attendance.

(4) Screen your calls. If an elder calls to check on you, do not answer. Since you live outside their territory, it is unlikely they will visit. But always look through the peephole just in case. Don’t sign for certified mail if it comes from them.

Giordano

The Pedophile Issue: You should discuss this with your wife first. Google the various investigations that major news organizations have reported on.

Have a chat with the one Elder who is more approachable and tell him you are concerned how the pedophile problem is being handled. That it's been an on going problem for years and you have learned that pedophiles tend to be repeat offenders. That even Elders are being sued over this issue. That MS have also been called into court. That under the two witness rule many boards of Elders have not been able to act or even reveal they have a pedophile in their midst. Some even going out in service.

If asked about your concern your wife can back up your claim about being seriously stumbled/troubled.

Let that fester for a while while you start to slow down your duties.

If that’s not an approach your comfortable with mention that your job requires you to take online course's after evenings or attend a community college to better understand the changing policies/technologies etc. so you will have to free up time to accomplish that.............or lose your job.

Then start your fade.

Sofia Lose

There is this couple at the cong that started attending school during the meeting evenings, and he even took a job that required traveling. Have not seen them in a while but hear that they are doing well and are happy. One more set of survivors!

SL

BluesBrother

I was an elder, heavily involved in everything when TTATT hit me. Slow steps were needed , for the same reason as you

1) I let my wife then the P.O as he was called then know that I was not happy..struggling in the faith but doing my best to overcome. I had to carry on assignments, which I hated (hypocrite!, but necessary for a while) I slowed down and cut corners on things but no one seemed to notice.

2) After a few months of doing that more and more I turned in a letter of resignation to the B O E , just before the C.O visit so he could delete me. They did not want to accept it but the C O did and I was free of all that ...

3) After that I just slowed down to nothing and became inactive. Nobody cared, I was not important anymore

I still attend some, to help my wife . I sit quietly and never participate. They treat me as piece of furniture.

Good luck with your own exit cognitivedizzy . With patience and a wife who does not rat you out to the elders, you will be fine

Crazyguy

It sucks but go out slow and plant seeds to wake the wife. This last week's WT is a great opportunity. You could say something to your wife like 'man all the changes really shows that thier just making this stuff up as they go' or 'I have noticed that everytime a few of the older gbs die off it seams like the new ones change a lot of the previous doctrine'. Remember it getting your wife out that's the most important.

HELP - A Guide to Fade

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