HELP - A Guide to Fade

by cognitivedizzy 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • cognitivedizzy
    cognitivedizzy

    fade Update !!!!!
    Told em i'm stepping down due to family and work obligations, they never tried to stop me.... YIPEEEEEEEEE

    Added bonus, My workplace is moving to a more remote part of the town, and I may now have to move homes,,,,, faaar away from this shit !!!!

  • bsmart
    bsmart
    So glad for you, you need to start looking for another home across town now... then when it is time to unpack you miss the meeting in your new area! Good job.
  • cognitivedizzy
    cognitivedizzy

    Fade Update-

    The Eldubs tried to talk me down into the stepping down thing.... Stayed resolute on my stand....Seems like the CO is pushing them not to accept my resignation, I have made it clear I cannot serve due to my family obligations and work, They seem bent on giving me a break and bounce back when I can!!

    How to handle this sudden change of events :(

  • tim3l0rd
    tim3l0rd

    You can't blame them. They are desperate for servants. I've never been an MS. I tried for quite a while, but my time was never enough or my meeting attendance was never enough. They've recently stepped up efforts to encourage me to do more. Oh if they only knew...

    Wish I had advice for your situation. Maybe if they take away your responsibilities and you're a MS in name only for a while you can revisit the stepping down again later. If you end up moving, it would be a moot point.

  • cognitivedizzy
    cognitivedizzy

    Fade update

    Done and dusted... announcement made , got loads of nasty looks and one in particular even tried to ask for reason.. told them to use their imagination :)

    Sad news is Wifey is very upset and wants me to reach out again!!! :(... like thats ever going to happen lol...

  • cognitivedizzy
    cognitivedizzy

    Fade update..

    My wife is very curious with my change of behavior, she wonders why I don't see JW TV ...aarrrgggg.. why i doint comment , etc etc,, she does neither as well.. I was always the one who made her sit through all this horror when i was IN THE JCLUB

    I am all worked up to break it to her as to how i feel about the Borg... I was recently announced as no longer a MS, should I wait... I am extremely confused

  • freddo
    freddo

    Take it steady, you've made a significant change by dropping out of being an "appointed man". Now start doing fun things on weekends right on ministry and meeting times.

    Don't blurt it all out at once or she may dive down the rabbit hole. Just common sense stuff. Ask questions such as why all this building work if the end is so close? How does it all chime with Luke 21: 8? Why all the cry for money? Bigger storehouses and all that?

    Don't answer the questions just leave them open.

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    Go slow. Go slow. Go slow.

    She doesn't fully realize it yet but you've just removed a huge part what she considers her life's foundation. You have to move slowly.

    Help her to realize, by being an extremely great husband, that you can be the same husband she married and loves even though you aren't a dub zealot anymore - and soon won't even be a dub.

    If you rush you will send her running to the elders and all the painstaking work you've taken your time to accomplish will be gone.

    Stepping down is hard but managing to maintain your marriage through the rest of the fade is the really hard part - because your wife lives with you and knows you so well she will see through any smokescreen statements about stress and family obligations.

    I let my wife know I wasn't comfortable with all the changes that were taking place and how the WTS handled them. I had doubts/concerns and wanted to research some stuff for myself. She gave me time to do that. I also clearly told her that if she wanted me to talk to the elders I would but I wouldn't just accept their word as answers and they don't have any additional information that I didn't have so I would probably be disfellowshipped after a couple of visits with them (because they would answer my doubts but I wouldn't just nod my head and let it go). She let me research on my own which slowly slowly slowly allowed me to fade away without having to deal with anyone. Anytime I got a question from a friend or family member I just said I didn't want to discuss it because it was so personal and that if I needed to talk to the elders I would - fat chance that would have happened but it worked to keep everyone off my back.

    Your duties are off of you so you can be a seat warmer at the meetings, when you go. Just don't make any sudden moves or statements.

    Best of luck. Of course, all of this is just my opinion.

  • TheListener
    TheListener
    Cognitivedizzy, how are things going?
  • cognitivedizzy
    cognitivedizzy

    TheListener

    Attending meetings for Wife's sake :(

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