PRESS- Silentlambs-More to Follow---

by silentlambs 74 Replies latest jw friends

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  silentlambs

  . http://www.tennessean.com/opinion/letters/archives/02/05/17668055.shtml?Element_ID=17668055

  Closeness to God doesn't require church

  To the Editor:

  The stories of coverup of sexual abuse by the Catholic hierarchy and the Jehovah's Witnesses elders are a moral outrage. These innocent children have lifelong damage from this abuse, and these supposed leaders should be imprisoned for not reporting the abuse and for not helping these children to get therapy.

  What is even more outrageous are the parents who knew about the abuse and did nothing, as was the case with the Jehovah's Witnesses who, incredulously, invited the abuser to dinner. The self-worth of someone like this is very low if they would place their place in a ''community'' above the welfare of their child.

  As is the case with a lot of organized religion, people want to belong to something. It gives them a sense of self-worth, but it is a false sense of self-worth. Self- worth comes from the inside and knowing your relationship to God.

  You can only be an integral part of a true community once you know that you can stand alone and that the community does not define who you are. The biggest lie that organized religion fosters on the masses is that you have to go through a priest, an elder, a minister, or any religious leader to either improve your relationship with God or to even have a relationship in the first place.

  This lie is fostered by those same people either explicitly or implicitly, because they define their self-worth by how big their congregation is or how holy they are because they bring all these people to God.

  They are not any closer to God than you or me, and they certainly can't bring someone to God. Only you can do that for yourself.

  Lawrence Doochin

  Franklin 37069
• 

  silentlambs

  . http://www.tennessean.com/local/archives/02/05/17731963.shtml

  Witnesses cite biblical basis for disfellowshipping

  The Jehovah's Witnesses officials cite I Corinthians 5 as the scriptural basis for their practice of disfellowshipping — or shunning — members who are unrepentant about serious sins such as adultery, theft, drug abuse and an attempt to create dissension in the congregation.
  Spokesman David Semonian said this chapter of the Apostle Paul's letter to believers in Corinth tells members to quit mixing with unrepentant sinners.
  In the New World Translation, the version of the Bible used by Jehovah's Witnesses, Verse 11 reads:
  ''But now I am writing you to quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man.''
  Usually, people who have been disfellowshipped work to rejoin the congregation, Semonian said. He did not have any statistics about how often people are disfellowshipped and later return to their congregations.
  Witnesses do not worry that shunning former members will push them away, he said.
  ''It's a standard set out by Jehovah God himself in the Bible. We always know that his thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and anything he directs results in the best outcome for all of us.''
  — Brian Lewis

  . http://www.tennessean.com/local/archives/02/05/17731339.shtml?Element_ID=17731339

  Disfellowshipping described as 'worse than death'
  
  BILL STEBER / STAFF
  Kelsey Graham, a Bellevue businessman, was disfellowshipped from the Jehovah's Witnesses more than 20 years ago.
  
  By BRIAN LEWIS
  Staff Writer

  Running afoul of Jehovah's Witnesses teachings cost Kelsey Graham his friends, his faith and his peace of mind.

  ''I've lost relatives to death, death I can handle,'' said Graham, a Nashville man disfellowshipped from the Jehovah's Witnesses. ''This is something that's worse than death.''

  Graham, 47, was disfellowshipped, or excommunicated, 20 years ago for reasons he says remain unclear. The businessman thinks it is because he questioned church doctrine and procedures.

  For Jehovah's Witnesses, a close-knit, proselytizing Christian organization known for door-to-door evangelism, disfellowshipping means being cut off from virtually the only people they know and starting over in a new and unfamiliar world. (Biblical basis for disfellowshipping)

  ''I thought everybody that wasn't a Jehovah's Witness was just in debauchery,'' Graham said, whose previous impression was that ''it's just one big orgy and one big back-stabbing world.''

  Disfellowshipping, a form of discipline by Witnesses, has been in the news recently because a Tullahoma woman faces the possibility of excommunication on charges of ''disrupting the unity of the congregation and undermining the confidence of the brothers in Jehovah's arrangement.''

  Barbara Anderson told reporters from the television news show Dateline that Jehovah's Witnesses have covered up sexual abuse. Anderson had a hearing May 10 but has not been notified of any disciplinary action. A New Jersey man and wife interviewed by the show have already been disfellowshipped, and a Kentucky man is awaiting a judicial hearing.

  One reason that disfellowshipping is such a harsh punishment is that Jehovah's Witnesses are very much a closed society. Members are discouraged from developing relationships outside the organization, former Witnesses said. When people are excommunicated, they lose almost all of their friends.

  In rare cases, people choose to leave by writing a letter of disassociation. The results are the same as disfellowshipping: The person is no longer a Witness and loses all privileges of membership.

  After he was disfellowshipped, Graham said his parents and siblings continued to treat him like a relative but didn't discuss religion, he said. He no longer had any friends. If he wanted to phone somebody and say, ''I've got a headache, I don't feel well,'' Graham said he couldn't do it.

  The loss begins immediately once the elders announce a disfellowshipment at the church, he said.

  ''The people that greeted you before the meeting, if you decided to go, are not going to even make eye contact with you afterwards,'' Graham said.

  ''At the time that you most need spiritual uplifting is when this happens and you have no place to turn.''

  A person can be disfellowshipped for being unrepentant about serious sins such as adultery, theft, drug abuse or an attempt to create dissension in the congregation, said David Semonian, a spokesman in the denomination's Brooklyn, N.Y., headquarters.

  While outsiders may view the punishment as harsh, Semonian said, members have a different perspective.

  ''It's direction from God's word,'' he said. ''It actually is very loving. What the shunning does, it protects the congregation from unwholesome influences of those who blatantly disregard Bible influences.''

  Semonian said that it also serves to make those who have been excommunicated aware of how they've messed up.

  ''This person blatantly wanted to do what's wrong. By shunning him, it impresses upon him to come back in a right relationship with God.''

  Sometimes, however, that thinking backfires.

  Tiffany DiDomenico of Smyrna left the Witnesses because she felt the elders' expectations of her were unreasonable. People are expected not to sin, but that's not possible, she said, and if they fail, there's a public disciplinary process.

  ''It's humiliating,'' she said. ''It's very humiliating. My relationship with God should be between me and God, not me and the congregation.''

  She also developed serious doubts about church teachings that church elders never answered to her satisfaction. Although she neither wrote a letter of disassociation nor was disfellowshipped, the result was the same, she said. Friends and family shunned her.

  One day she saw friends in Wal-Mart. But after making eye contact with her, she said, they looked away and acted as if she wasn't there. At that point, she said, she knew she'd been right to leave the faith.

  ''It made me very angry, and it hurt me. But more than anything, it reaffirmed my decision that leaving was the best thing I could have done for myself,'' she said. ''I had always been told that my true friends were the Witnesses, that they were my true family. Now my supposed true family was turning their backs on me.''

  In addition, her father and her stepmother stopped talking with her. Calls to her father's residence were not returned.

  Ironically, DiDomenico had previously somewhat shunned her mother after she left the Witnesses and told DiDomenico negative information about the religion.

  DiDomenico said she is now a born-again Christian.

  Graham, the Nashville man who was disfellowshipped, said he hasn't returned to organized religion.

  He said his thoughts at the time of his disfellowshipment were: ''I'm spiritually dead, I'm a doomed man, I have nothing to live for.''

  When he was first disfellowshipped, he felt certain he would perish at the battle of Armageddon, he said, which he thought would be relatively soon. Now, he has studied many religions but doesn't feel the desire to join.

  ''I believe in God.'' he said. ''But I think … the most important aspect of that faith is not doctrine but is love.''

  Brian Lewis covers faith, values and religion. Contact him at 259-8077 or
• 

  silentlambs

  A battle rises within Jehovah's Witnesses
  Monday, May 27, 2002
  . http://www.bergen.com/page.php?level_3_id=3&page=3590283
  By JOHN CHADWICK
  Staff Writer
  In 1989, a Jehovah's Witnesses member from Paramus pleaded guilty in a Hackensack courtroom to molesting his granddaughter.
  Attracting no media attention at the time, the case is now part of a larger battle by the victim's parents and two other dissident Jehovah's Witnesses in Kentucky and Tennessee against the leadership of this insular Christian denomination.
  Each of the four has complained publicly about the church's handling of sexual abuse complaints against members. They say the church seeks to handle such matters privately, rather than going to authorities.
  This month, the Brooklyn-based church - formally named the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society - began expelling the four members.
  Carl and Barbara Pandelo, the parents of the victim in the Bergen County case, say they were excommunicated two weeks ago for "apostasy,'' or forsaking their religious faith.
  But the former Maywood residents say they suspect the real reason is retaliation because they voiced their complaints on NBC's "Dateline" program.The two other critics facing expulsion also went on "Dateline." The segment is expected to air Tuesday, a network spokeswoman said.
  Because Jehovah's Witnesses are prohibited from listening to anyone expelled from the church, the Pandelos say the expulsion effectively forbids other members to watch the show.
  "This was a preemptive strike,'' said Carl Pandelo, who lives with his wife in Belmar. "Even rebellious members who do watch it won't be able to discuss it with church elders.''
  Church officials declined comment on the expulsions, but defended their handling of sexual abuse complaints.
  Unlike the current scandal in the Catholic Church, the accusations against the Jehovah's Witnesses dwell more on alleged abuse by congregants rather than faith leaders. But like the Catholic controversy, the allegations raise questions about how religious communities handle potentially criminal acts by one of their own.
  The Pandelos' criticism of the church goes back to 1988, when their 12-year-old daughter told them she was molested by her grandfather. The suspect, Carl's father, Clement Pandelo, confessed, and was sentenced to five years' probation in a plea bargain, according to court records.
  But the aftermath created a rift between the Pandelos and their congregation, then located on Saddle River Road in Fair Lawn.
  The elders, or leaders of the congregation, played a large role in the case, instructing the grandfather to confess to authorities, then expelling him from the congregation, and finally forgiving him 18 months later.
  In this tightknit religious community, where the faithful live by biblical injunctions and routinely seek guidance from church elders, the Pandelos said they were told to forgive the grandfather, and to keep his crimes secret from the other members.
  They said the elders should have permanently expelled the grandfather, and informed the congregation of his wrongdoing. They're particularly upset he has been allowed to go door-to-door, preaching the church's message - although his wife is required to accompany him.
  "There was no concern for my daughter, or any of the other children in the church,'' Barbara Pandelo said.
  A spokesman for Jehovah's Witnesses said the church believes in forgiving sinners if they show repentance, and members are expected to welcome them back to the fold. A Maywood man who served as an elder in the Pandelos' congregation said the elders kept a close watch on the grandfather to make sure he wasn't alone with children at church functions.
  "As far as pedophilia is concerned, the elders will monitor the situation, besides whatever else is happening legally,'' said the elder, Anthony Valenti."That continues to be the case today.''
  The rift widened when the congregation refused to testify for the Pandelos when they filed a lawsuit against the grandfather.
  With the help of the Internet, the family joined forces with other critics a few years ago. They recently issued a joint press release after the church initiated expulsion proceedings.
  Because New Jersey requires any citizen to report child abuse to the police, the elders in the Pandelo case said they had to call the authorities.
  But critics as well as church leaders say that's not necessarily the case with every allegation, especially in states with no mandatory reporting laws.
  Church officials say they decide on a case-by-case basis how to handle accusations. David Semonian, a spokesman at church headquarters, said congregation elders must consult with legal advisers at Jehovah's Witnesses' headquarters when faced with an accusation of child abuse.
  "If the law requires [reporting], then that's automatic, and we would never try to discourage someone,'' Semonian said. "But a person may decide themselves that they do not want to report it. And we would not force them to do so.''
  Jehovah Witnesses, who claim 6 million members worldwide, live by a Bible-based theology that requires members to keep some distance from the trappings of the secular world. Under this "Christian neutrality,'' members do not salute the flag, serve in the military, or participate in politics.
  Members say they strive to be decent, law-abiding citizens while following Jesus' example of being "no part of the world.'' Critics, however, say this world view has led to mistakes, such as handling cases of child abuse through congregation elders instead of calling in law enforcement.
  "For any type of wrongdoing, you are supposed to report the matter to the elders, and they are to give you the godly direction on what to do about it,'' said William Bowen, once an elder of his congregation in Kentucky, and now one of the four facing expulsion. "If they tell you, 'I don't think you should report,' and you don't listen to them, you could be perceived as going against God's will.'' Bowen said he resigned his position as elder in 2000 after church leaders resisted his efforts to report an allegation of child abuse that dated back to the early 1980s.
  Critics want the church to institute mandatory reporting, and to prohibit convicted abusers from holding leadership positions and engaging in door-to-door evangelizing.
  Meanwhile, the Pandelos say they will appeal their expulsion to church elders, although they acknowledge they are no longer active Jehovah's Witnesses.
  "It's more than the principle, it's the punishment that goes with it,'' Barbara Pandelo said. "We don't deserve them telling our friends that we are on the same level as adulterers, fornicators, or molesters.''
• 

  Farkel

  airmail,

  : Having dealt with this problem my self with abused people, and reading the above story of disgruntled members im wondering if they ever helped a victim or they are just using it for an excuse to leave the wt society.

  If there's a better reason for leaving a religion, I can't think of one.

  Farkel
• 

  SYN

  Cool, thanks Silentlambs!

  "Vaccination has never saved a human life. It does not prevent smallpox." The Golden Age, Feb 4 1931 p. 293-4 - The Sacredness of Human Blood (Reasons why vaccination is unscriptural)