Confused?

by nomorepain13 35 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  nomorepain13

  I have been going to meetings since I was a child, long story short only recently I've started taking the truth seriously, I am not baptized but just an unbaptized publisher. Truth is I am so lonely in the congregation. The other young people in the cong don't like me because they dont think I am going to "Stay" for long, I've even worked on the ministry with an older brother and asked her am I giving the wrong impression to people? Because they are acting differently towards me? The brother said that because I've been back and forth in the truth that people don't want to get there hopes up and re establish friendship bonds, which I guess I understand, it was my fault for being in and out of the truth.

  I have no motivation to do anything. I wanted to serve Jehovah to my fullest, do everything I possibly could but elders held me back because they thought I would make a "mistake", I understand there decision but at the time I was SO zealous to go out on the ministry etc, I went to every meeting and socialized with brothers and sisters in the hall. I am still a young person under 21, I see people my age in the Truth going out having fun while I'm at home. What makes this even more difficult is that I've met a wonderful worldy girl, she has outstanding morals and is sweet. I would love to take things further with her and so does she but I can't. I don't want to drift because serving Jehovah is still in me but there is no way that I am going to miraculously make new friends. I was even discouraged at one point when an elder kept on asking my father to see if its "ok" to go through the questions with me and if I'm ready? Shouldnt they be able to see this by my actions in the kingdom hall?

  Even my mother has said that I need a balance. I want to serve Jehovah and its literally been 3 months since I've been made an unbaptized pubisher, I had so much zeal and I don't want to blame the elders but they did take a lot of time waiting to make me and unbaptized publisher and when they did I wasnt as estatic as I was about the Truth. I want to leave because I am so depressed plus I am an only child, everyone else in the congregation has someone backing them up if its there blood brother or sister, or a marriage mate, and I'm just on my own, I don't want to sound like I want to leave to only go out and "Party" but when I see other young witnesses having fun I do get upset. I am planning on getting a job far away and moving out I think that is the best thing, but should I really talk to the elders about how I want to leave?
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  alanv

  Your main job I would say is to check yourselves if this really is the truth or not. Certainly if you get baptised you will be welcomed with open arms, but then in the future if you realize that actually this may not be the truth, they will avoid you like the plague. Even if you just question one doctrine you will be treated coldly by your fellow witnesses.

  So do yourself a huge favour, check out the orgs history. Have they proved to be totally trustworthy or have they in fact been misleading people for decades? But you must check others views not just JWs as they will be totally biased.

  I wish you well and hope you will come to the right decision and enjoy the rest of your life.
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  ohnightdivine

  Dear nomorepain13,

  Welcome to the forum. I am sad to hear about your story and how you are feeling.

  I hope that you read the advice that other caring people with more experience than I do, will offer you in the next posts.

  Some members in the congregation are blindly following things that even Jesus himself would despise. Please do not lose your sense of self-worth just because they are treating you like that.

  I hope you read the many posts here about WT teachings and experiences so that you can decide better which way to go. Your congregation elders do NOT own you, your feelings, and your actions.

  Please take care!

  Regards from the Pacific.

  ~~ond
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  Honesty

  The first problem you have is you believe that the JW's/WTBTS is the truth.

  It isn't.

  Jesus is the truth.

  The JW's/WTBTS have pushed Him aside and made the truth their own.

  Once you figure out that the JW's/WTBTS is not the truth, never has been the truth and never will be the truth you can progress with your other issues.

  Until then, you are just going around in circles.

  Check out this website and it will be painfully obvious that you have deceived just like myself and millions of others have been deceived:

  www.jwfacts.com
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  KateWild

  Welcome to the forum nomorepain13,

  Thanks for telling us your story. Sometimes in life people don't fit in as well as others do and in the WT organisation it's no different. IMO I don't think you will fit in better in the congrgation if you get baptised. The friendship bonds the young ones have, they have already and I don't think they are going to miraculously include you.

  At present you feel this is the true religion, ask yourself this if it was the true religion would God's holy spirit allow you to experience pain while you are doing your best to serve God.

  nomorepain13, as alanv said you could do some research why there is a lack of love in your cong. You are not alone there are plenty of JWs that experienced the same thing. Is this how a true religion would look?

  You have met a lovely girl who wants to give you companionship. As humans we all need comapnionship, would a loving God really want you to feel pain or enjoy company?

  Stick around this forum, read other experiences and stick around. Do some research on jwsurvey.org and jwfacts.com. Many former JWs don't think this is the truth because of the independent research they have done. My story is different from yours, but I saw many in my cong who experienced lack of love and got left out, like you.

  Take care, all the best Kate xx
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  objectivetruth

  Nomorepain - It's great to read your first post. You will find friends here, that are your friends unconditionally.

  I'd like to help you in any way that I can. Please feel free to PM me with any Scriptural Questions that you are struggling with. The bible is sufficient to learn about Jehovah, and "interpretations" such as the Watchtower & Awake are not necessary, they even act as a Hinderance to understanding the Bible.

  It helps to playfully consider this scripture. 1 Peter 2:2 - "As newborn infants, form a longing for the unadulterated milk of the word, so that by means of it you may grow to salvation."

  You are experiencing one of the most unfortunate aspects of the Watchtower Society Organization.. They claim to be the most loving group of people on earth, when in reality they are one of the most Judgemental and hateful groups. You can see what I mean at Matthew 23:27 - "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because you resemble whitewashed graves, which outwardly indeed appear beautiful but inside are full of dead men’s bones and of every sort of uncleanness."

  You cannot claim to be a loving Person or Group of people if your love is conditional. Matthew 5:43-48

  You said - " I don't want to drift because serving Jehovah is still in me but there is no way that I am going to miraculously make new friends. " It's apparent that your heart is in the right place, and you Love Jehovah. I thought the way that you do for a long time as we'll.. However, I then realized that my relationship with Jehovah has NOTHING to do with my standing in the watchtower organization.

  Use your Zeal and your youth, to gain a relationship with Jehovah, and learn how to be lead by Holy Spirit. Don't be concerned with how "Man" views you.

  As for the "Worldly" girl that you have meet.. The watchtowers interpretation of "Worldly" does not exist in the Bible. You are either, In The Lord, or not. When making the decision whether you should pursue a relationship with this girl, consider the WORDS at 1 Corinthians 7:39 "A wife is bound as long as her husband is alive. But if her husband should fall asleep in death, she is free to be married to whomever she wants, only in the Lord." Is she a Christian, does she have good morals?

  You have a really great life ahead of you. Jehovah is opening up your heart now, and it's important that you follow the right path John 14:6 ,

  Please PM me, or send me a reply here if I can guide you to the Bible, and show you all the reasons from the scriptures, that being a member of an organization is not required by Jehovah, to be loved by him and his son.

  Be careful on this site.. .there are many well meaning people, but there are some that have been hurt by the Organization,or they have been mislead by Satan and they have left Jehovah as we'll as the Organization.

  With Christian Love
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  Finkelstein

  nomorepain13... asking what to do on a ex-jws web site really reeks of stupidity, sorry it just does.

  Personally I would NOT get baptized because once you do you are just enslaving yourself to a corrupt

  lying and controlling organization run by corrupt lying extremely dangerous men.

  (Hint ... Jehovah is nowhere near the Watchtower Publishing house, never was , never will be )

  Do your research !!!!

  .

  Realizing that is part of being a mature adult with a wholesome empathic attitude toward humanity.
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  mynameislame

  Think long and hard about why you want to stay. Not why you should stay but why you want to. Then ask yourself if you will really get what you want by staying.

  If you have prayed about it, and I assume you have, take a hard look at the answers you are getting. Don't let fear cloud your judgement when you do. It is very easy to ignore the answers because of fear of being wrong.

  If the JWs told you about all kinds of good things that will happen to you by being a JW then ask yourself if any of them have come true. (sounds like you have been around them long enough to know)
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  Faithful Witness

  nomorepain: Thanks for sharing your story. You will find lots of support here. I can relate to your feelings, and I'm glad you are here.

  Stay awake! You are brave to share your observations, and you are smart to realize the truth about the people around you. I think your exit plan is a good one.

  My story is also different from yours, but I will share with you that I am glad that I decided to never become a JW. I was only an adult bible student for about 4 years (on and off, as we were never quite convinced).

  I can also relate to your feelings of being "left out." I have experienced this since childhood, although mostly in the real world. I am now a mother of two young children, and this peception has not changed for me. I am different, and I have come to realize that I do not fit in. Sometimes it hurts, especially since I am now in my 40's and still long for a "BFF."

  You are human, and your feelings are normal.

  You are too smart for this group. Do not get baptized. You do not belong to them. You do not have to report your actions or plans to them. I don't think it is the business of the elders or anyone else, what your plans are for your life.

  I don't mean to be harsh, but it sounds like you have realized the truth of your situation. Their only interest in you, is to add you to their numbers and get you to serve the organization.

  They have no interest in your personal happiness. Neither does the Governing Body.

  The "friends" at the KH are manipulating you. They are putting social pressure on you to make a serious commitment to an organization that does not have truth or love within its walls. Follow your instincts here.
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  Faithful Witness

  Your loneliness will not subside, even if you were baptized. By committing yourself to the society, you would only be limiting yourself to a very small social network. There are a lot more good people and good friends to be had, outside the walls of Watchtower.

  Have you noticed any pattern from your friends at the KH? You will never be good enough.

  If you are a publisher, they have already started reinforcing this idea with you. They are requiring you to put it in writing.

  Why do they require field service reports?

  This requirement is a direct contradiction to the commands given by Christ in Matthew 6:1-5. I encourage you to read this entire chapter of Matthew and ask yourself, why are they requiring you to record every effort you make? Who is really in charge of keeping track of you? Your Father in Heaven, or a group of men?

  Matthew 6:1-5 (NWT)

  “Take care not to practice your righteousness in front of men to be noticed by them; otherwise you will have no reward with your Father who is in the heavens. So when you make gifts of mercy, do not blow a trumpet ahead of you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be glorified by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when making gifts of mercy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your gifts of mercy may be in secret. Then your Father who looks on in secret will repay you. “Also, when you pray, do not act like the hypocrites, for they like to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the main streets to be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full."