Confused? (page 4)

nomorepain13

Thank you everyone for your comments some of you have given really practical advice. I really do appreciate it!! To feel like this and not being able to talk about it for so long has made me feel a lot better now that I have said how I feel.

GrreatTeacher

I too was raised in the truth and met a really nice worldly guy who I knew I would really get along well with. I was so torn. It felt like a test.

Well, I chose the nice worldy guy and we have been married over 20 years now. We get along so great that I always kind of wonder what people are talking about when they say that marriage is hard work.

So, it was a test, a test of my ability to detect bull$*** and also to decide what it was that would really make me happy in life.

kaik

Nomorepain, I can assure you that the relationship between you and the members will not change with baptism. The congreation had made their mind that you are spiritually weak and doubtfull and they will never change their mind. Some people live with this mark for decades and carry it as some sort of self punishment for being spiritually weak in the past. You need to realize that there is life outside KH and worship does not revolve on the amount of distributed literature.

The Searcher

Nomorepain - Welcome to a place where you can say what you are honestly feeling, and not be scared of being "stoned to death" for doing so!

I'm still "in" and am viewed by most in the cong as someone in good standing with privileges. Despite this, I know for a certainty that I am being scrutinized by the "glorious ones". For several months now I have noticed that whenever I speak to certain ones in the KH, an Elder suddenly comes and stands close enough to listen to our conversation.

At first, I thought I was just being paranoid, but after it occurred 6 or 7 times, I was convinced! And when I mentioned this to an older sister recently, she replied that she had noticed it too! It happened again yesterday before the start of the meeting.

Do you really want to commit yourself to the religious equivalent of North Korea, as well as being responsible for trying/convincing others to to get sucked in?

Quit while you're free to do so, and you won't notice any difference in their attitudes to you.

Spiritual paradise? Dream on!!!!!!

blablabluh

I was in the exact same position, never had any friends in the hall. Occasionally people would speak to me but I was never really accepted as part of the group. I, like you, really made an effort with the "truth" and to put myself out there when trying to make friends.

I remember at an assembly I tried to speak to a buch of people I met previously and one guy just turned round and put his back in my face. I almost punched him. After that I just gave up trying and stuck with my real "worldly" friends who accepted me for who I was.

I was instantly happier when I left, maybe you will be too. Making friends in the real world is a lot easier!

JWdaughter

Hey kiddo, hang in there. You aren't feeling the love because it just isn't there. You know it is not and it won't be-even if you are baptised.

You love God and want to serve God. Don't confuse that with a religion. You can find a faith home at some point later. Now you need to separate yourself from people who have nothing to give you in the way of companionship or association. Just go to God direct, find good people that are not in the org (they are there!) and grow yourself as a human being. Do good things for other people as a believer rather than doing organizational things to try to fit in. This way you can actually help others and meet good people along the way.

All the best to you.

Confused?