by nomorepain13 35 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
What is your priority here?
Build a career/ make an independent living for yourself!
Above all else, THAT should be your goal. DON'T give the elders or anyone else any clue that you want to quit. In the poker game of life, you need to hold your cards tight and concealed from others.
After you have accomplished this, THEN you have time and the FREEDOM to figure out what you want to do with your life. I'm sorry to tell you that making a living is about 90% of life these days.
metatron
Guys I know this site is for ex jws but I have no one else to talk to...literally..I have found that the Yp ask book is no help when I want to really dealve into questions, I have a study but he is too busy with his new wife to take interest in me, I don't think I will ever fit in. Even after an assembly a year ago I went out with this sister from my old congregation and the young people were extremelly judgemental, I mean I can understand if I went to some any bar or club, but if this is Jehovahs organization then why are the people so judgemental? The brother who went through my unbaptized publisher questions tried to scare me saying how "people get df for sexual immorality" and even asking me questions like "What if a man who is married masturbates with a gay man? Is that fornication?" o.O I was literally baffled!! I was not going to go through with it but I thought it will get better in time you know? But it hasnt....
This site is for anyone seeking help from those who understand what it is like to be part of WT organisation.
Your heart is not totally in it and many who post here are considered apostates. Do you know what WT says an apostate is and what the dictionary definition is?
Elders, if they knew, would not approve of you getting advice here.
I think you want to leave. Do you?
Kate xx
Welcome Nomorepain.
How would you feel if someone would demand you dressed like him, like and eat the same food, watch the same movies, agree with everything he says whether he's right or wrong, never have a different opinion...before you can be his friend! You see JW indoctrination is exactly this: teaching you to conform before you can be a trusted "friend". This friendship is conditional to continuing to conform. I was a JW for 50 years and I stopped going to the KHall suddenly and I never received a phone call or even a visit by my best "friends" in the congregation. You see, they loved the JW I was and not the person NVR2L8 is. The morning after I decided to no longer attend meetings I was still the same caring person who lent them a hand fixing their cars, renovate their homes, played hockey or rode motorcycle with, lend some money to some of them...but that doesn't count anymore because I no longer fit the conditions to be their friend. So Nomorepain, I ask you...are these the type of friends you want? For the last few years I have made many new friends who care for me regardless of my religious beliefs or how I choose to live my life. I have lots of fun with them and none of it is immoral as the WT would like you to believe.You should seek that type of friends.
What Kate said.
This is the site for you. Keep asking questions. You are not stupid.
We don't care who you date, how many hours you put in last month, or even if you've watched an "R" rated movie. (gasp!!)
You will find a lot of people here, who are hurting for various reasons because of their experiences with the JW's. Sometimes they seem unkind, but don't take it personally. Your questions are welcome here.
To quote one of my children, now 36 years old. "Life is hard--and that's alright. But it should not be miserable."
Do not stay. You do not want a miserable life.
The life you have described can't rise above miserable even if all the WTBTS literature and songs teach you to say otherwise.
You can't rewind, unwind your experience and perceptions of life as a JW. Your desire to serve God will have to contort into a distortion of the gospel to fit into JW life. Don't let yourself get bent that way. Don't marry "in the Truth". Get with a life companion with whom you can share your life honestly.
I don't try to run other people's lives but I want to be clear in this instance: this is spiritual warfare and the WTS will crush your spirit. Leave the religion and find your life.
Maeve
if you want a relationship with god and Christ I suggest reading the entire new testament without any Watchtower publications. That's what I did. I didn't even finish the gospels before realizing JWS don't have the truth. During my reading I realized they resembled the Pharisees not Christ. Then as i read Paul's epistles I realized that JWs lack faith in Christ. That's why they believe they can be declared righteous by works. Along with that come feelings of low self worth because you will never be good enough. the whole point of Christ is that god loves you even though you deserve death and that you are freed from death by means of this free gift. Jehovah doesn't give a crap about how many hours you do in service. his love is not earned. It's accepted. He extends it and all you have to do is take it by means of faith. This sets the pattern for how we are to love others. You will feel motivated to be a more loving person to your family friends and girlfriend in imitation of God and Christ.
Nomorepain13, I can sympathize with you. Here's a few thoughts:
You might not realize it, but you have been judged, even though they don't know the real you. Jesus had a lot to say about judging. You can look it up in a concordance. Recall what would be an outstanding trait of the true religion. Clue: John 13:34, 35. Are you experiencing true Christian love or are you experiencing something else?
Remember, you have been judged by people that do not really know you. Even if they do accept you for what you are and who you are, they will exercise conditional love, as some have mentioned already.The term conditional love does not appear in the Bible. Can you see the problem? If you do not conform to their way of thinking, you will be rejected. Is it a case of trying to force a round peg in a square hole?
So, where should you start? This has also been said already. To build up your self-worth: Study, study, study. Choose a career path and study hard to achieve your goals. Study the Bible and the so-called truth. No, don't just study current truth (as it is now), also study where it comes from and where it's going. Is this not what the Bible encourages us to do? (See Prov. 2) Only then will you be in a position to make important decisions that is going to affect your life. My five cents worth.
The honest simple answer is that it is a mind control cult. I doubt that is what you want to hear or find out and many on here would have been in the same shoes as you.
Read up on cults and the BITE model. The sooner you can come to terms with what you are involved in then the better your life will be in the long run.
I certainly wish I could have known this when I was in my early 20s, instead of 40.
Nomorepain13........first of all WELCOME to a place
where you are free to speak what you feel!
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"but should I really talk to the elders about how I want to leave?"
Nomore, elders are just men .......nothing holy or special!
The less you say or confess to them .....the better.
Do not get baptised.......because then they can force all 7 million
jws to shun you .....I repeat do not get baptised.
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Start researching the ugly past of watchtower and every doctrine
they have told you ........they are so wrong on so many levels.
Stick around here watch the video's, such as on John Cedars survey,
Mike & Kim, JWfacts etc.
all the best
clarity
