Please...I need your help

Strawberryfieldsforever

My heart is heavy as I write this letter. I have been trying to live my life as best that I can since leaving Jehovah's witnesses. My Dad was not a witness and was my rock when I left the religion. My mom did not talk to me for the better part of 13 years. I am happy with my husband and we have gone into early retirement. Something was missing tho.....and that was my mom. Through all of the years even tho she won't communticate with me, I still love her and I miss her....

I thought that if I e-mailed her and kept trying to trigger some memories in her head about the past and me and my Dad and our lives together would help her see how much I miss her. I would bring up happy times and even funny times that maybe would make her smile and for just a few minutes forget about her religion and remember her family. You see, I am the only child and my Dad has now died, and she really has no family because our family was so small.

When I started e-mailing, she actually responded! She asked about our new home in the mountains and what it was like and how our health is. I was so happy to be able to at least write her and talk to her! My heart soared with hearing from her!! My plan was to talk about daily activites and what we were doing and the weather, anything I could think of. It made me so happy to tell her about my life.

I just received an e-mail from her this morning. She said she enjoyed my e-mails, but she was concerned that I didn't love Jehovah anymore and that I was reading apostate material on the net and she said that would be a dividing point for us. She wanted to know if I was still reading apostate material and to be truthful and write her back...

I do not want to lose this last little bit of communication with her because I know it will be the last. How sad I am.....please help me know what to say to her because it will probably be the last e-mail and contact I will ever have with my mom who I love so much. I want to at least say something that may make her think. If it's my last e-mail, I want to try to trigger something to help her without being cruel because I love her.

Strawberryfieldsforever

The Searcher

Don't try and trigger anything!! Just tell your mom the truth - you love God for his son's sacrifice and you are trying your best every day in life to live your life as Scripturally as you can. Also, you are not hearing any worse things on the internet than you would do by going on the ministry and asking people for their opinions!! Otherwise your mom should stop talking to APOSTATE members of Christendom!! What's the difference????????

Xanthippe

The term apostasy is used by sociologists to mean renunciation and criticism of, or opposition to, a person's former religion, in a technical sense and without pejorative connotation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostasy

Don't feel you have to tell your mother the whole truth. This religion has lied and lied to innocent people raised from childhood in it. Be wise and be a loving daughter, choosing your words carefully. You can't tell a brainwashed person the truth, not yet. Please tread carefully.

Phizzy

Personally, I would not say anything about Apostate sites being part of your reading. I would, as The Searcher says assure mom that you still love god etc, and if you like also say, "I still love the truth", which is true, if you love Truth.

I know that mom will then start to say you should be back at the Meetings, but that is easily got around, "I will be mom, just as soon as I am ready".

I see no problem with dressing up how you really feel so as not to offend or distance mom, it is something we humans do all the time.

Be economical with the truth, for the sake of keeping the lines of communication open. Mom will not be around forever, try not to lose her now, whatever that takes in the way of "Theocratic warefare".

Good luck.

KateWild

SFF,

You haven't posted in over a year. I don't know if you are a lurker but the point is you have most likely just got on with your life. You have come here today for support that's all.

Just keep up the communication with your mum and maybe plan a visit, she might push the apostate thing to the back of her mind. I do hope things work out between you. I miss my son terribly, I know how it feels to painfully miss someone. All the best for your next email.

Kate xx

OnTheWayOut

If you answer truthfully, but with limited responses, you might be able to keep contact.

Regardless of how she phrased things, give a generic answer like "I am not reading apostate materials and have no desire to jeopardize our relationship by discussing beliefs and religion with you."

Something like that. You can define "apostate" on your own and be telling the truth. Heck- if it bothers you, stop reading anything you might have to answer for, and just enjoy your mom.

AlphaMan

Under the doctrine of "theocratic warfare" the Jehovah Witness religion will deliberately lie to gain any needed advantage.

If you can stomach it.....use "anti-theocratic warfare" to maintain contact with your mother, and maybe eventually help wake her up. You do this by playing along with her questions. Some things you can word in such a way that you are not actually agreeing with her. Also, use your JW training to lie, deflect & misdirect any questions that put your (apostate) beliefs on the spot.

One thing for sure is that you cannot possible help her out of the cult if she cuts off contact. Of course, being blackmailed to actually read Watchtower literature or attend JW meetings is a whole different thing.

valkyrie

In my opinion, you do not have to answer every question that is asked of you, to carry on communication.

This is even easier to do when writing (email): time and distance will allow you to shape and develop your reply artfully, expressing only what you want to reveal of your heart to your mother.

So, you can acknowledge - even sympathize with - her concern... then smoothly move on to an engaging, more delightful account of your daily activities.

Once you feel that your relationship with our mother is less fragile, and subject to abrupt interruption, that might be an appropriate time to look for "triggers" to awakening her.

ABibleStudent

Hi Strawberryfieldsforever, I'm sorry that your Mom is sooo deluded to follow the WTBTS. Her recent e-mail may have been triggered by a meeting that she attended, so it may blow over with time.

How do you feel that your Mom would react to the following:

Why are you asking me about my beliefs? Mom, I love you unconditionally. How much do you love me?

I'm following the teachings and examples of Jesus Christ as is written in the scriptures. Do you remember what Jesus Christ said were God's greatist commandments? They are (Mt 22:27-40: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” If I follow God's greatist commandments, how can I be thinking like an apostate?

(Insert what you are doing today that you want to write to your Mom.)

Love,

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

Frazzled UBM

Don't play ball - deflect her question. Tell her you respect her beliefs and have no intention of trying to change her views and suggest she should also respect your beliefs and that despite your differences that you can find some common ground. Don't admit to visiting apostate websites and if necessary stop doing so for a period so you can tell her that you are not. Tell her how important she is to you and how much you love her and that should be all that is important. She is probably torn between a desire to maintain contact with you and her cult conditioning telling her not to. Try to appeal to that part of her that wants to maintain contact and give that part of her an excuse to maintain contact. Good luck

Please...I need your help

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