You aren't reading aposatte literature.
She is every time she opens a Watchtower magazine.
Therefore, you can truthfully tell her that you aren't reading apostate literature.
Please...I need your help
by Strawberryfieldsforever 57 Replies latest jw friends
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Strawberryfieldsforever
Thank you "ding" You're right. I just want to be her daughter. I would never push my ideas on her. I just want her to love me unconditionally and to try and make her remember times when she was not a Jehovah's Witness.
Strawberry
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Finkelstein
It might help to state that your not an opposer to any religious faith including hers, that
you just simply want to be respected for your non committal to not having any particular
religious faith by choice. That leaves her with the the imposing guilt to reject you from your own position.
This may become a bit of a white lie but the intension is forthright and sincere .
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ateograciasadios
I am concerned with the fact that most people, me included, have the tendency to tell the true in the way that the WT has taught us. Being convinced that all the WT says is a lie, I do not feel the obbligation to incriminate myself in matters that have an impact in my relationship with family. My mom is not talking to me all that much, but she knows that we simply do not speak about certain issues. When she tries to push me there, I just say: OK mom.
I refuse to play by their rules and risk my family. They already quasi-shun me, mostly because my mom is a die-hard. I think I can only show her that I love her and avoid that conversation. But if she pushes you again and again, do not play by the WT rules!
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redvip2000
Lie because it's well justified.
I had a discussion with my entire family recently where they found out i was an apostate, and even though i don't believe in God at this point, i lied and said that i did believe in Jehoober.
I lied because i knew that telling my family that i didn't believe in God would shut the door on reasoning with them. So i explained that i did not leave Jehoober by leaving the organization - that in fact i actually loved him and simply saw absolutely no evidence that i needed the Org to worship him. This somewhat resonated with them and it seems they were puzzled at that concept - they actually could consider something like that.
Meanwhile, i don't even believe in God, but sometimes you need to take a step in another person's direction in order to have them take two steps in your direction.
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steve2
Oh what a tangled web we weave when at first we try to deceive...JWs use theocratic warfare with a clear conscience. Can you do so when you lie to your mother? Only you would know the anwer to that question. You remain very much at the mercy of an old memory of how things used to be and you are feeling a perfectly normal range of human emotions. The virtue of your mother's response is she has made her views clear - she has written like the good JW mother she is - and has been.
How do you get through this? Not by unrelentingly giving voice to the emotional part of your brain (the amygdala) but by drawing upon your ability to think and to reason (the prefrontal cortex). You are at retirement stage - so I guess your dear mother must be in her 80s - at least? You could be devoting your time, love and energy to the life you have successfully built for yourself and your family - who love you unconditionally. Or you could poke at old wounds and use tears to clean them and feel the hurt over and over and over - proving what?That you refuse to accept reality. The decision not to be manipulated by emotional blackmail is an individual one but it will do far more to help you move forward in your life than cowering to the unrelenting demands of a deluded and cruel belief system.You may find it more helpful to your self-respect to think about leaving your mother be. She has outlined the fairly standard JW terms and conditions. But you cannot in good conscience meet them. Gently and with clear self-respect bid her farewell and grow from this painful experience.
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EndofMysteries
Whenever anybody, including elders asks about you reading apostate material, here is how I responded and nobody could say anything bad about it.
I have only read the societies own literature and the bible. On the internet there are many sources and archives so since I couldn't find the older WT literature in the KH library, thankfully there are scanned archives so anything I read is just the WT and the bible with nobody elses input.
So let me ask, is the societies own literature apostate? Is the bible apostate?
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clarity
Strawberry ... yes, take your time, sleep on it...as they say!
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Have you had visits by jw's at your door? Tell her that you
have just been talking to the sisters then ...& they are sooo nice &
gave me a free .....bible/book/watchtower, so nice of them,
about my age too , mom! - That might just put you in a more
favorable place! You know how they think...
clarity
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Frazzled UBM
'If I can keep the lines of communtication open, should I keep trying to snap her out of this fog she is in?' Cement the relationship first. Don't say or do anything to raise the cult defences. She already has you pegged as an apostate so is on her guard. Anything you say that confirms that may give her cult personality permission to cut off communications notwithstanding the needs of her Mum personality.
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cha ching
Be brief, but reassuring, then moving on might be the best.
Don't dwell on it more than a sentence, then tell something funny to divert.
"Are you kidding mom? I am still reading the Bible & Science Fiction, but that's about it!"
Or, "I don't have time for that stuff, I enjoy my garden so much... Did you know my rose bushes have grown twice as large this year? In fact, I've noticed a new branch popping out that has a different colored flower, do you think that's a "sport"? Go from there, jokling, laughing, asking questions.
Only give her a brief reply @ 'apostate literature' after two or three lines in, and move on.....
:-) cha ching