So true KneeHigh, If there is no passion or desire from the beginning, the marriage is screwed. Many marriages start out hot and heavy and cool down to frozen. I personally know young JW couples who have NO chemistry or connection from the very beginning! Most of the young couples are totally clueless in the bedroom, strange for all the porn JWs re purported to watch. It doesnt come naturally either since they never had the right attraction or chemistry. Many get married in a game of musical chairs.. They dont want to be the odd one out. They dont want to be the 50 year old pioneer virgin. So what do they do? They get married to anyone who is baptized JW, moves breathes and dosent smell too bad and is willing and they set a wedding date.
It seems like the couples who actually are in love end up fornicating and getting DF. As a couple If you dont feel like you are in danger of having sex during your courtship/engagement and that waiting is easy, you likely have 0 chemistry or connection or fire in the relationship.. Combine that with the JW strict stance on divorce and you have a recipe for disaster.
Also if a JW gets married at 19 or 20 to the only person they have ever dated, eventually feelings of loss crop up. You see others your age in "the world" married as well but what is different? They had time to go to college, get a degree and career, have their fun and get all the wild stuff out of their system and find out who they really are before they take the quantum leap of getting married. As a young married JW, you resent that because you are working at a low paying, dead end job, boring sexless marriage to a spouse that you can no longer stand, marriage filled with endless meetings, guilt and indoctrination, boring FS etc. You resent that you never had any normal experiences that many have. No college, relationships, close freidships, career, no time to find out who you are before you settle down and have a family! No time to have fun, party, experiment or whatever. What happenes when you find out who you are at 26 and wake up to TTATT but by that time you are married to a indoctrinated cult member and have 2 kids? What do you do? You my friend are screwed. It also messes with your self esteem. You arent sure what the opposite sex actually think of you and you crave their approval since you were so awkward around them in your HS years. That can set you up for trouble needless to say why.
In short, I agree with the other posters and believe more and more every day that this is a cult that FUx with EVERY SINGLE aspect of a happy life and actively tries to make normal thing wierd and ruin everything.
